


No Graves

by saltedpotato



Category: Naruto, Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Ghost Drifting, Hallucinations, Multi, Nonbinary Shino, PTSD, Pacific Rim AU, Rivals to Lovers, Sasuke has a cat named Tomato, Trans Male Sasuke, amputee Sasuke and Naruto, because i could, everyone's aged up to their late 20s/early 30s, this timeline is WAY out of wack don't think about it too hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:14:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 39,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24676747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltedpotato/pseuds/saltedpotato
Summary: Marshal Tsunade has a crazy, last-ditch plan for the Breach. Crazy enough to warrant pulling Sasuke Uchiha out of retirement, and crazy enough to allow a wild card like Naruto Uzumaki onto the field with him. Everyone seems to think this hot-tempered duo spells nothing but disaster, but perhaps they're the spark of hope that humanity needs.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 36
Kudos: 116





	1. Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.
> 
> I'm sure many people got very excited to see I've finally posted something, but I am genuinely sorry it's not the Komorebi sequel. I'm... working on it. Very slowly.
> 
> I've had this concept kicking around since 2018 and I figured that with quarantine keeping me out of a job, now was the perfect time to hyperfixate on Pacific Rim like it's 2014 again. Yeehaw.
> 
> Without further ado-- read on! I'm having a lot of fun with tossing 90% of Naruto's canon established relationships and pacing out the window and jamming them into a grim, apocalyptic setting and I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I do.

He cups his hand around the flickering yellow flame, back curled against the vicious wind that whips his hair and stings his eyes. The flame falters, surges, the cigarette catches, and Sasuke pulls in a lungful of smoke gratefully, snapping the zippo closed. This far out, the clanging sounds of construction are dimmed to a dull ringing, and it's a temporary relief-- it wouldn’t be long before the coordinator noticed he was missing. 

It’s bitterly cold, and in a rare moment of cynicism, Sasuke is grateful that he can’t feel it in his left arm-- his prosthetic is cheap and doesn’t pick up on the temperature changes around him. 

There's a muttering grumble, a curse, the scuff of work boots on gravel and Sasuke turns his head, watching as Tazuna approaches. 

“You're a real bastard, you know that?” The old man mutters as he siddles up near Sasuke, behind the dilapidated billboard that's shielding them from the worst of the wind. It's the tail end of a storm, but that didn't stop the endless grind of construction on the Anti-Kaiju Wall. 

“Retire, then,” Sasuke says bluntly. “Before you get your dick caught in a bandsaw.” 

“Punk.” 

Tazuna spits a mouthful of tobacco into the wind and shoves his hands in his pockets. 

“I don't have it this week.” 

Sasuke's eyes snap to Tazuna’s face irritably and the man only rubs his beard uncomfortably. 

“Seriously? This is the fourth week in a row,” he snaps. Tazuna's shoulders bunch up defensively. “What the hell am I even paying you for?”

“You haven’t paid me _shit_ yet. It ain't as easy to get as you make it seem, kid--” 

“Don't call me kid.” 

“Fuck it, Uchiha. You could ask for anything else and I'd have no problem finding it. Cigs, booze, condoms, I dunno. But testosterone? That's niche shit. They don't make a lot of it nowadays-- got other crap to focus on.” 

Sasuke spits a frustrated curse and starts his march back to the tent city of construction workers. 

“Fucking useless,” he mutters. Four whole doses missed. He’d probably start bleeding again and in a crowded, miserable construction site full of restless men it was the _last_ thing he needed right now. 

He ducks into the skeletal interior of the wall his team was working on, back into the cacophony of grinding saws, pounding hammers, whirring drills, and shouting workers. He's only been up here in this particular asscrack of Alaska for a little over six months, but it's like this _every_ day; rushing, yelling, frustration. Like they're on a timer and it hit zero yesterday.

And they might as well have been. Last kaiju sighting was two weeks ago, and that one had taken down yet another jaeger-- another one would be showing up any minute now. 

The dull hum of an engine suddenly roars into clarity and for a single heartbeat, things fall quiet. A thousand pairs of eyes watch as a helicopter descends outside. A sleek, black thing with heavily tinted windows and no exterior logos. 

Military, then. 

Sasuke puffs on the tail end of his cigarette as he watches it settle on the ground with a final thunk, kicking up snow and gravel and sending it flying. 

Sasuke hoped, faintly, that it wasn't for him. 

Sasuke knew, grimly, that it probably was. 

The door unlatches, throwing itself open, and a figure dressed in impeccable military regalia steps out. The wind and snow obscure the specifics, but that blonde hair is unmistakable. 

And Sasuke knew she would be pissed if she had to go looking for him. He grinds out his cigarette on the heel of his boot and tucks it into his jacket pocket to be thrown away later. He's waiting just inside the entrance to the wall's interior, a statue amongst an ocean of movement, and he's spotted immediately.

“Sasuke Uchiha,” Tsunade says, coming to a stop a few steps from him. Sasuke inclines his head respectfully. 

“Marshal,” he replies. Tsunade blinks once before turning and walking deeper into the wall, weaving through support pillars and scaffolding beams. He’s expected to follow, Sasuke knows. It's quieter here, if only minimally. 

“Heard about Nova Horizon,” Sasuke comments as they walk. 

“They were good Rangers. They did their job.” 

The silence is thick and Sasuke hates it. 

“I doubt you'd come here to vacation,” Sasuke finally cuts in. “What do you want with me?”

Tsunade finally stops and turns, leaning against a support pillar with her arms crossed firmly over her chest. He finally gets the chance to take a good look at her and his stomach sinks. 

It looks like she's aged a decade in the five years he's been gone and her posture speaks of the weight of a dozen dead Rangers. He shoves his hands in his pockets and meets her gaze evenly. 

“I’m sure you’ve heard that they’re probably going to be shutting down the Jaeger program soon,” she says bluntly. “All remaining Jaegers and their Rangers will be brought to a single Shatterdome-- the rest will be decommissioned.”

“I’ve heard something along those lines. Why should I care?” 

Tsunade’s brows harden, but Sasuke Uchiha really, truly, _deeply_ does not give a single fuck. She’s not his Marshal anymore, and he’s not her pilot.

“The UN is allowing us funds for one final attempt on the Breach. We've got something... different this time around. I need an experienced Mark Four pilot to run point and there aren’t a lot of them left nowadays.” 

“Lemme guess, it's--” 

“Confidential,” Tsunade finishes with a barely-there smirk. Sasuke sighs and scratches his fingers through the scruff on his chin. Tsunade shrugs one shoulder.

“At least until you sign on,” she says.

“And what makes you think I'll be doing that?” Sasuke demands. “I'm retired-- I'm not a Ranger anymore, and I will _not_ be getting back into the Drift with someone else.” 

“Do you really have anything better to do?” Tsuande demands, pushing herself off the beam. “You really think you're that important here? For every worker they lose, two more flock in. Unless, living with icicles permanently attached to your dick is so important to you.” 

“I'm _retired--”_

“Grow the fuck up, Uchiha. I should have been retired eight years ago.” The flint in Tsuande's eyes softens and her posture loosens again, fractionally. 

“I know you're still grieving your brother...” She says softly. Sasuke's spine goes ramrod stiff, jaw clenching, but Tsuande continues. “But we are at _war,_ Uchiha. And if we don't figure something out, we will lose. This entire planet, _billions_ of people, will be wiped out like we weren't even here. And that's the best case scenario.” 

Sasuke purses his lips and pats his back pocket for his pack of cigarettes.

“Find someone else,” he snaps. “I'm not letting anyone else into my fucking head.” 

He shakes a cigarette free and turns around, determined to hold his ground and end the conversation. He was a single, out-of-practice Ranger amongst a hundred others. They could find someone else. 

Tsunade lets out a loud, annoyed sigh that catches his attention.

“We’ll pay for your testosterone.” she says. “And if we make it through this, the rest of your surgeries.”

And god dammit, he pauses.

“So, what’s it going to be? Are you going to watch the world burn from a wall that doesn’t work... or from a _Jaeger_?”

She suddenly swaps to Japanese. 

_“Wouldn’t you rather be home?”_

Sasuke tucks his cigarette back into the package. He sighs.

“... Fuck it.” 

Tsunade’s grin is vicious and it’s the most life he’s seen in her expression so far. 

“Good.”

Sasuke holds up a finger. 

“There’s one condition, however...”

* * *

“C’mon Tomato, you’re just making this more difficult for both of us...”

Technically speaking, pets were also considered contraband. But if a ‘stray’ cat had taken to sleeping under Sasuke’s bunk in the barracks, nobody really cared to say anything. Tomato yowled and hissed about being put in the carrier and yeah, Sasuke felt bad, but she was also so spoiled at this point that if he just left her behind she wouldn’t last the week. 

Other than his cat, Sasuke doesn't have much shit to pack-- all of it fits in a ratty duffel bag that he slings over his shoulder. Tsunade is waiting by the helicopter, a hand pinned over her forehead to keep her hair out of her eyes as the chopper starts back up. Her nose wrinkles at the sight of the carrier. 

“Well... I _guess_ we can get it ESA paperwork. Come on, we’re burning daylight.”

He plops himself down in the leather seat and tucks the carrier underneath, safely enclosed behind his legs, before buckling himself in. The doors are slammed and final checks are made. 

“What Shatterdome are we rotting in?” Sasuke asks as Tsunade buckles herself next to a grim faced security guard. Tsunade raises an eyebrow.

“I told you didn't I?” She says. “We're going home.” 

Sasuke blinks and then slides lower in his seat, rubbing his eyes.

“Fuckin’ course we are,” he mutters. 

“Cheer up Uchiha, you'll see lots of new faces,” she says. Her head turns to the left and stares out the window at the misty white blur of the world as it slowly fades below them. 

“Most of the old ones are dead anyways.” 

* * *

The Nagasaki Shatterdome is the second oldest running Jaeger base and the largest one overall, considering it was the first line of defense against western-driven kaiju. Last time Sasuke had flown over it, there were people crawling all over it, like ants on a hill; helicopters had buzzed to and fro, and the whole place had been lit up like a miniature city. 

Now it seemed almost abandoned. 

The jet lands with a hard jolt and Sasuke groans in relief-- he _hated_ flying. The jet was marginally better than the helicopter that flew them to the airport, but it still rattled in the wind. Not to mention he had to death glare the attendants to convince them to let him keep Tomato’s carrier on the seat next to him. 

He hears Tsunade chuckle as she shifts in the seat across from him, but when he looks up, her face is as serious as ever. 

“Still hate flying?” 

“Don't patronize me.” 

“Relax, you won’t be getting back in one for awhile.” 

The jet pulls around to the huge metal doors into the Shatterdome and that same stoic security guard (who hadn't spoken the entire six hour flight) stands and disappears into the cockpit. A few seconds later, he exits and goes over to the door, cranking it open and sliding it out of the way. There's a rickety set of steps waiting for them and Sasuke doesn't trust them for a god damned second, gripping the rail tightly in one hand and his cat carrier in the other as he descends. The air smells sharply of petrichor and the tang of metal; it's sprinkling, probably the last petering efforts of one of Nagasaki's famous storms. 

A flipping of fabric and springs makes him start and the security guard is offering him an umbrella. He takes it with an awkward nod of thanks. 

Tsunade strides past him, an umbrella of her own in hand. 

“Keep up, Uchiha, we don't have all day.” 

Sasuke clicks his tongue and follows. Tsunade, of course, is already launching into a debriefing. 

God, here he was, wasn't he? Blink of an eye practically and he's suddenly back in the mess of things. 

“We only have three teams here at the moment-- Brute Surgeon, who's undergoing some major repairs, Blue Palm, and Fanged Prospect. We’ll be getting another from Hong Kong once they finish with all the bullshit paperwork. So I’m glad you agreed to come-- only two functional jaegers when we’ll be getting an attack sometime soon hasn’t had people in the best of spirits...”

Sasuke’s eyes roam over the faces flitting about the deck and he freezes. The world gets muffled as he spots a ghost lingering near the walls, the only still figure amongst the chaos. His armor is cracked and blood oozes down his arm and face. Despite that, he’s smiling pleasantly. His mouth moves, forming words that Sasuke can’t hear. 

He yanks his eyes away, focusing on his feet, on counting the steps and the seams in the concrete. When he risks a second look, the figure is gone. He rubs his eyes, cursing under his breath. 

“Uchiha!” 

His head jerks up. Tsunade is several paces ahead of him, frowning impatiently. 

“It’s called keep up, not catch up. You’ll have time for walks down memory road later.”

Yeah, that was kind of the _last_ thing he wanted to be doing right now. He jogs until he’s matching pace with the Marshal. He retraces over Tsunade’s words, trying to trap his mind on the topic so it doesn’t wander. He sucks in a deep breath through his nose. 

“Me being here doesn't make a difference if I don't have a partner or a mech,” Sasuke says, only to wither under Tsunade's irritated glare. 

“You _have_ a mech. And I have several candidates lined up for you to spar with in the Kwoon Room this afternoon. Now quit mouthing off before I make sure your bunk is right under the loudest kaiju alarm.” 

“Yes ma'am.” 

The heavy iron door behind them wheels shut and Tsunade and Sasuke shut their umbrellas in tandem. The bustling noise of the Shatterdome fades for a brief moment as the lift carries them down into its belly. 

“We managed to recover some pieces of Alpha Prophet, back then,” Tsunade murmurs after a moment. “The AI was pretty damaged, but we managed to salvage some of it. Hopefully, that'll make the transition back into piloting a bit easier.” 

Sasuke purses his lips. 

“Thanks.” 

“Shall we go see her?” 

“Do I have a choice?” 

“Nope.” 

The lift jolts to a stop, the doors open and the world floods back into a cacophonous clarity once again. Steam hisses from pipes above and there's a constant _muttering_ from the people that hurry by. Tsunade leads them down the hall to a final set of huge metal doors.

“Welcome home, Uchiha,” she says as she punches in the code. The lights go blue and the door opens into the Shatterdome hangar. 

Sasuke lets out a pained hiss. When he'd left, they were twenty jaeger strong, with six more in the shop. Now most of the bays were empty, and people crawl like ants over Surgeon, who's missing an entire arm, her black metal plates rendered into ribbons by three massive claw stripes. Prospect looks fine, Palm could use a new paint job. But his eye catches on the last filled bay, the huge figure mostly draped in cloth, with sparks flying from underneath as the engineers patch her together. 

But hell, Sasuke would recognize those shoulder plates anywhere. 

He rubs the line between his flesh and prosthetic with a grimace. 

“Beautiful, isn't she? It’s not Prophet anymore, not really, but I think a fresh start is what everyone needs right now.” Tsunade stares up at the swathed figure. Sasuke grunts his approval. 

“What's her name?” 

“Hasn't got one yet. I was waiting for your input, actually.” 

“Huh.” Sasuke readjusts his duffle bag, watching the tarp flutter with movement. “When is--” 

“NARUTO, STAY OUT OF MY GOD DAMNED JAEGER!” 

A wrench flies out from under the tarp, clipping the side rail of the scaffolding and flying end over end through the air. It would have brained Tsunade had Sasuke not reached over and caught it, cracking the plastic on his prosthetic in the process. He frowns and inspects the damage as Tsunade tugs at her cuffs, unruffled and _deeply_ unamused. A gleeful cackle echoes from above them and Sasuke watches as a blur of yellow and orange darts out from under the tarp and proceeds to-- 

Sasuke can only describe the way he moves as _spidering_ down the scaffolding, jumping fearlessly over the safety rails and crambering his way down in the most dangerous way possible. He leaps off the edge at the last ten feet, hitting the concrete in a roll and bouncing immediately to his feet. A furious mechanic stops at the railing, glaring down at him, her eyes blazing even from this distance. 

“GO BACK TO ANNOYING LEE!” 

“JOKE’S ON YOU, I'VE _ALREADY_ ANNOYED HIM!” He laughs, turns on his heel, and stops dead when he sees Tsunade standing there. His face pales and he's motionless for a beat, then two. 

“... I was supposed to be on deck, wasn't I?” He says. 

“Yes, you were,” Tsunade replies. 

“I'm in trouble, aren't I?” 

“Yes, you are.” 

The boy sighs, grins sheepishly, and tucks his arms behind his head. Sasuke blinks as plates in his right arm shift, lines of blue light appearing for a moment, then fading. A prosthetic-- an expensive one at that. 

Curious. 

“Well, my bad. Who's the hobo?” 

Sasuke's eye twitches, and if Tsunade suddenly develops an odd sounding cough he doesn't mention it. 

“Show some respect-- this is Sasuke Uchiha. The one you were _supposed_ to draft a candidate list for. Unless--” 

“ _You’re_ the pilot of Alpha Prophet?” Naruto doesn’t sound convinced. He gives him an unimpressed once-over and Sasuke purses his lips.

“Former.”

“Yeah, no wonder.”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

“I dunno, I don’t hear about a lot of pilots coming back from getting their mech utterly totaled against a category three.”

Sasuke is a hair’s breadth from grabbing Naruto by the front of his shirt and slamming him against the nearest hard surface when the back of Tsunade’s hand thumps him firmly on the chest. 

"Hey, _hey,_ knock it off," Tsunade snaps before either of them can get another word in. She aims a hard look at Naruto and sighs. 

“Sasuke, this is Naruto Uzumaki-- despite his lack of _professionalism,_ he’s my personnel coordinator and one of our brightest up-and-coming Rangers. Though if he keeps this up, he’s going to be lucky to be a _janitor._ ”

The air between them crackles angrily, before Naruto pulls a crumpled sheet of paper out of his pocket and waves it irritably. 

"Well, for your information, Old Hag, I _did_ draft the candidate list." He's talking to the Marshal now, refusing to even look at Sasuke. He shifts his gaze to her as well, only to realize that she's not listening to either of them anymore. A hand is pressed to her earpiece and her eyes have the faraway look of someone concentrating on something over the din of the Shatterdome. 

"Right," Tsunade sucks in a deep breath through her nose and looks directly at Naruto. 

"If you have the list, you won't mind giving Uchiha the full introduction, yes?" She says. Naruto nearly drops the slip of paper. 

"What? No! I have to get back to training!" 

"Right, and that's why you were bothering my engineers sixty feet in the air?" 

Naruto doesn't have a response for that. He crosses his arms over his chest and glares right back at Tsunade as she gives him a terrifying hairy eyeball. Usually it’s enough to get even Sasuke to shut up, but Naruto doesn’t seem even the least bit effected. 

So the two are obviously close. Sasuke wonders how he’s never met or even heard of the man before now. 

Naruto lets out an annoyed puff of air. 

“Fine. Let’s go, bastard.” 

“Okay. Deadweight.”

The grinding of Naruto’s teeth is audible but Sasuke only smirks crookedly as he follows after Naruto’s annoyed stomping. 

Sasuke was sure that this whole “introduction” business was more for formality than anything; he doesn’t even have to watch where he’s going but his feet know the route to the Ranger bunk wing after walking the route a thousand times. Him and Naruto step through the hulking metal doors and as soon as it shuts behind them, a blessed silence wraps around them. 

Naruto is still keeping several feet ahead of him, shoulders hunched and a low grumbling following him as he walked. It’s fine by Sasuke-- less talking meant less headaches. They wind through the the belly of the Shatterdome, past the cargo and ammunition storage, towards the Ranger wing. 

It’s still sinking in that he was really _back_. He’d probably be in a Jaeger with a new drift partner within the week. He’d probably be neck deep in kaiju gore not long after. 

His brief amusement at picking a fight with the unruly blond kid faded away, replaced with a numb sort of resignation. He wasn’t really sure what one depressed, retired Ranger with a healthy dose of PTSD could do against the increasingly hopeless world crisis but Tsunade seemed to think he was critical. So here he was until the mission was completed or (the more likely scenario by _far_ ) he went out in a blaze of glory. 

“Sasuke Uchiha you son of a bitch!” 

He starts, head lifting. He’s standing in front of a heavy set of iron doors, the K-science symbol hastily spray-painted on the concrete walls to either side of it. Someone is walking out of it, peeling shoulder-length gloves off her arms and dropping them into a hazardous waste bin. It takes a second for Sasuke to recognize her. 

“ _Sakura_?”

A genuine smile spreads across his face as he sets his cat carrier down so he can accept her bone-shattering hug. She looks wildly different since the last time he’s seen her-- hair buzzed on the sides of her head, dark locks dyed a fluorescent pink, and tattoo sleeves twining around both arms. She smells like chemicals and the sharp, fishy tang of Kaiju guts, but damn if she isn’t a site for sore eyes. 

“I heard they were dragging your ass out of the woodwork-- did you really think crashing your Jaeger could hide you from me forever?” She holds him out at arm’s length and gives his shoulder a solid punch. Like, a _really_ solid punch.

“No, but I had a pretty good run, didn’t I?” He rubs the sore spot with a bit of a grimace.

“God, no shit.” 

“Wait, you two _know_ each other?” 

Sasuke and Sakura both turn their attention towards Naruto, who looks like someone has just liberally pissed on his dinner plate right in front of him. Sasuke lets out a choked sound as Sakura raises herself on her tiptoes to force him into a headlock. 

“Oh yeah, way back in his rookie Ranger days. Stupid asshole always got carried away and ended up in the infirmary.” She knuckles his hair and lets him go; Sasuke gives her a halfhearted glare, but it’s kind of ruined by the fact that she wraps an arm around his waist and he lets her. 

“Aw, poor thing, are you jealous?” Sakura teases and Naruto’s face goes beet red. 

“Absolutely not!” 

Sakura leans in closer and covers her mouth with her hand before stage whispering as loud as she possibly could:

“He had the most enormous crush on me.”

“Really? How unfortunate,” Sasuke whispers back. 

“You are both insufferable!” Naruto turns heel and storms off. Sakura throws her head back and laughs, detaching from Sasuke, who sighs and watches him go. 

“Well, that’s my ride. It’s good seeing you Sakura-- the look suits you.” He gestures to her tattoos and shaved head. 

“I know, right? Switching departments has been really freeing.” She extends her arm and turns it over, showing off the tattoos. Now that he’s closer, he can see a detailed arrangement of butterflies and skeletons on one arm, the other wrapped up in a stunningly accurate portrait of a kaiju. 

“Switching departments?”

“Oh, yeah-- kind of got bored of working on people,” her expression dims somewhat. “Why treat the injured when they’re just going to keep pouring in, anyways? Why not go after the source of the bleed? I ain’t no surgical resident anymore, that’s for sure.” She forces a laugh. 

“So... you’re in K-science now?”

“ _Head_ of K-science. Well, co-head-- I’ve got an _insufferable_ partner.”

“I HEARD THAT!” Someone yells from inside of the lab. Sakura rolls her eyes. She twirls her finger around her temple and then bares her teeth in an _‘eesh’_ gesture as she jerks her thumb at the lab. 

“Utterly nuts. Anyways, I was in the middle of something and I’m _sure_ the Marshal has you booked from now to A-time. I’ll see you later, though?”

“Maybe.”

“Ha! Good to know you’re just as flaky and irritating. Oh, hey, before you go...” Her expression softens as she gives his arm --his _flesh_ arm-- a squeeze. “I’m really sorry about Itachi.”

All the breath leaves him as if he had been gut punched. Sasuke swallows and picks up the cat carrier. 

“Thanks. I’ll-- I’ll see you later.”

“That’s a promise.” 

Sasuke hurries down the hallway, listening to Sakura and her mysteriously bitchy partner yell at each other until she retreats back to her lab (“Forehead, if your samples explode again I will _rip your hair out!”_ “Shut up, Pig, I’m coming!”). 

He eventually finds Naruto waiting for the lift at the end of a nearby hallway, foot tapping irritably on the grates. The door opens just as he catches up, and Naruto gives him a sour glare as they both sidle in, hitting the button and waiting for the door to grind shut. 

There’s a long moment of silence. 

“So,” Sasuke says. “You had a crush on _Sakura Haruno?”_

“Shut up!” Naruto explodes. “It was a long time ago!” 

“I’m just baffled at how you can take one look at her and _not_ realize she’s the biggest lesbian in the Shatterdome.”

Naruto sighs and rubs his forehead. 

“It was before she got her tattoos. I thought the pink hair was a one-off.” 

Sasuke chuckles quietly. 

“Oh, you poor bastard.”

“I don’t need sympathy from _you_ Mr. I-Haven’t-Seen-a-Razor-in-a-Month.”

Sasuke purses his lips, fingers finding the scruff that has sprouted in the past few weeks since his razor had been swiped from his toiletries. It’s sparse and patchy (he’s a month off T, after all) and he’s itching to get rid of it. 

“When you spend six months in Alaska in a glorified tent, let me know.” 

Naruto fell silent for the rest of the lift ride. The doors open and they step out in what could be _loosely_ called the domestic space of the Shatterdome. The wing where all the techs, mechanics, pilots, and Rangers that kept the Shatterdome running were all crammed into 150-square-foot “apartments.”

There are a few people milling around, probably the last trickle of the lunch bell that rang about half an hour ago. A few of them give Sasuke looks, but none of them are familiar and nobody seems to recognize him as the former pilot of Alpha Prophet. 

Well, disappearing off the face of the planet for five years would do that to your image.

“Well, this one’s yours.”

Sasuke glanced up to see Naruto stopped in front of a heavy metal door, one of the many ones that line the hallway. The faded brass plate declares it to be number 14 A. An unexpected snort bubbles up from Sasuke’s chest. 

“She has to be fucking joking...” 

Of course he was in the same god damned bunk. Now Tsunade was just insulting him. His hand clenches harder on the handle of his carrier, and it’s only with the impatient grumbling of Tomato that he remembers she’s been in there for several hours now. 

_Do it for your cat,_ he reminds himself. 

He cranks the wheel and steps inside to face his demons. 

But... there aren’t any. Just a rickety kitchenette, a single couch with a small TV that passes for a sitting room, and a bedroom with two beds that will soon house his new Drift partner. Same cold metal fixtures. Same peeling wallpaper that does a pisspoor job of lightening the gloomy atmosphere. 

“The carriers already put your bags in here. And your uniform’s in the locker.” 

“Hn.” Sasuke bends over and puts the cat carrier on the floor, opening the door. Tomato immediately bolts out in a black and white streak and disappears into the bedroom at the other end of the micro-apartment. 

“The old lady wants you in the Kwoon Room at fifteen-hundred for candidate testing.”

Sasuke wanders over to the fridge, running his hand along the side of it. He braces his hand against it, using his weight to shove it a few inches to the right. 

“What’s that story?” He says out of the blue. 

“What?” 

“You and the Marshal. She usually doesn’t let people get away with dropping the _ma’am,_ much less outright insulting her. What, are you her bastard son or something?” 

“What?! No!” 

“Oh, didn’t know she was into younger guys...” Sasuke kicks the chairs out of the way and braces his hands on the little round breakfast table in the kitchenette, shoving it across the floor until it’s near the door, right next to the arm of the couch. That’s better.

“ _Ew,_ God no. It’s...” Naruto grumbles, scratching the back of his head as he watches Sasuke rearrange the room with a bemused frown. “It’s complicated. I’ve just known her a long time.”

“So have I. Still doesn’t let me get away with mouthing off.”

“What the hell is with the interrogation? Yeah, she’s like family, _whatever_. I don’t need to go spouting all my secrets just because you think you’re some hotshot pilot that can get whatever you want!” 

Sasuke pauses in the middle of checking on one of the breakfast table’s loose legs. 

“Hotshot pilot?” He echoes. 

“Yeah-- you think you’re better than everyone else just because you used to be some overhyped prodigy. I know the stories. You don’t impress me.” 

The table bangs against the wall as Sasuke stands and Naruto flinches. Sasuke sighs. 

A thought occurs to him. 

He looks down at his hands and pulls the glove off his prosthetic, running his thumb over the plastic that had been cracked by catching the flying wrench. The arm that had been trapped between huge sheets of warped metal when a set of massive claws had torn through the conn-pod. The arm he had ripped out its socket in order to give that bastard kaiju a killing blow.

He’d need to be fitted for a Jaeger-compatible prosthetic later anyways. He gets his fingers under the fissure and it comes off with a _crack,_ exposing the wires and synthetic muscle tissue underneath. 

“W... what are you--?”

“Have you ever drifted with someone, Naruto?”

“... Yeah? I’m a Ranger candidate.”

“Have you ever been _in_ a jaeger?”

“Not yet, but I’m--”

Sasuke cracks another piece of plastic off, tossing it to the ground. Naruto falls silent. 

“Have you ever looked a Kaiju in the face?” Sasuke raises his gaze, head tilting as he stares Naruto dead in the eye. “Have you ever had your Drift partner ripped out of the conn-pod? Have you ever felt their fear and agony as they’re hurled into the water? The dread as their drive suit drags them to the bottom of the ocean? The _panic_ as they drown and die and leave their little brother to pilot a jaeger _alone_ and kill a kaiju _alone_ and walk six miles to shore _alone.”_

Sasuke lashes out and grabs the front of Naruto’s shirt, putting the wires and broken prosthetic casing under his nose so he can smell the oil and sparks where flesh and blood _should_ be. 

“Because that’s what _hotshot_ pilots do. So if I want to make sure the _brat_ that’s drafting _my_ candidate list for the next person that’s going to have to live through that every time we risk our lives together isn’t some incompentent nepotism-placed moron, I think I’m fucking entitled.” Sasuke shoves him hard and Naruto stumbles down the steps, hitting his back hard on the concrete in the middle of the hallway. Sasuke gives him a glacial stare. 

“Tell the Marshal I’ll see her at fifteen-hundred.” 

He slams the door. 

* * *

A shower, a shave, and a hair tie really do a lot. 

As promised, his new uniform is waiting for him in his locker. The dark gray jumpsuit embroidered with his name and number, the logo on the arm and chest denoting him as a ranger. Sasuke huffs a little as he unfolds it-- personalized already. Tsunade _knew_ he’d be coming back. 

He can’t help be irritated at her cockiness. 

Next to the uniform was a small glass vial and a plastic-wrapped syringe. And a note. 

_My end of the bargain. Now hold up yours._

He can’t help the relief that floods his chest. 

He dresses and makes his way over to the Kwoon Room, and at exactly 1500 he slides open the metal door to see an empty dojo. Tsunade is near the back, talking quietly to a man he... vaguely recognizes? Naruto is leaning against the wall in the back and deliberately doesn’t acknowledge Sasuke’s entrance. Tsunade notices him immediately and he can _see_ her sizing him up. 

“Ranger Uchiha,” she calls with a nod. “Good to see you found everything. Come over here and meet the Master.” 

He doesn’t really have a choice. She gestures to the man she had been speaking with-- tall and lithe, his green jumpsuit unzipped and tied at the waist, hands bound in boxer wraps as they loosely grip a bo staff. The most bizarre thing about it is that he looks nearly _identical_ to the Kwoon Room Master than had been around when Sasuke had been here five years ago, but dramatically younger.

“This is Rock Lee, Master of the Kwoon Room. He oversees most of the cadet training.” Lee gives Sasuke a too-bright grin and bows politely at the waist. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Uchiha-san, I’ve heard much about you!” He talks loud, too-- eugh. Sasuke makes a face at the honorific as he eyes up the staff rack on the wall. 

“You don’t really need to bother with that. Just Sasuke is fine.”

“If you prefer!” He straightens. Okay, he had to ask:

“Are you related to Might Guy by any chance?” He asks. Lee’s eyes widen a little before he laughs sheepishly. 

“Adoptive father! I took over after his injury forced him to retire-- I’m told the resemblance is uncanny though.”

“No kidding.”

There’s an odd sort of relief that mixes with the disappointment; Guy had been an overly exuberant but incredibly skilled Master. The fact that he wasn’t dead was better than Sasuke had been expecting, but the reveal of him being forced out of the job he had adored was an unanticipated sting.

“I hope you’ll find my cadets up to par-- they’re all very hard workers.” 

Sasuke sniffs and goes over to the rack, hands running over the selection before finding the right one for his height. 

“I’ve been known to be stingy. We’ll see, won’t we?” 

When he looks at Lee, his expression is measured, as if trying to gauge whether or not Sasuke’s words were an insult. It’s almost funny. Tsunade gives him a weary look. 

“Picking fights with everyone you meet isn’t the way to find a partner,” she scolds. Sasuke shrugs and gives the bo staff a twirl, testing the weight. His flexibility is a joke now compared to when he was in his prime, but the movements are as familiar to him as they had been the day he left. 

“You know I’m picky, Marshal. I’m not interested in a snot-nosed rookie that’s just going to let themselves get steamrolled by me in the Drift.” 

“If you’re looking for someone like Itachi, then I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed, _Ranger_.” Her tone is barbed and Sasuke gives her a dangerous look over his shoulder. She isn’t phased: “We’re not looking for soulmates here.” 

Man, he _really_ wished that people would stop bringing up his god damned dead brother. He couldn’t escape the ghost of him, in more ways than one. The silence bares its teeth around them, tense and hostile. Tsunade huffs a breath through her nose. 

“Master Lee, please go get the candidates.”

“R-right away, Marshal.”

He practically flees from the room. Sasuke kneels and unlaces his boots, toeing them off and placing them neatly on the edge of the sparring mat. 

He supposed Tsunade was right in a manner of speaking. He wasn’t looking for a perfect fit-- he was looking for someone to do a job with. The sooner he got the job done, the sooner he could go back to... 

Something. He didn’t quite know what it was yet. 

* * *

Sasuke flattens the ninth candidate in a row. 

“Four-zero, point.” Naruto calls out again, marking something on the tablet in his arms. He’s sounding increasingly bored and Sasuke is getting frustrated. He whirls on Tsunade and Naruto, teeth bared.

“Did you get anyone actually _competent_ on that list or am I going to spend the next hour burning through wannabe cadets?” He snaps. “If these are your cream of the crop, no wonder this god damned program is getting defunded.” 

The room goes dead silent and Sasuke can feel the anger pulsing through the group of cadets surrounding the edge of the mat. _Good--_ if they were pissed, maybe they’d be motivated to work harder instead of just sitting around with their thumbs up their asses. 

“Maybe if you were actually trying to forge a connection, you’d find someone.”

Sasuke’s eyes snap to Naruto, still eyeing the tablet with an annoyed grimace on his face from where he had muttered the comment. Sasuke cocks his ear in his direction. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I said if you were actually _trying,_ this would be working!” He snaps at full volume, head shooting up. “This is supposed to be a dialogue but you don’t respect anyone enough to open yourself to a connection. At this point it’s not their problem-- it’s yours.”

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. 

“Prove it.”

“What?”

“ _Prove it_. You’re the overseer, right? If you think that I’m the problem, prove you haven’t been wasting your time on a bunch of hopeless chasers.” 

“Absolutely _not,”_ Tsunade cuts in sharply. 

“Tsunade, come on--!” Naruto tries. Tsunade turns her fury on him, making him shrink back.

“Enough, _both_ of you.” She doesn’t raise her voice but there’s something in it that makes both men falter. She looks at Sasuke. “You will stick to the candidate list drafted, Ranger, and you’ll find someone to Drift with or you’re going be down a career. Simple enough, no?”

“So you’re admitting they’re all hopeless, is that it?” He uses his staff to gesture to the crowd. 

“ _Excuse_ me?”

“If your supposed personnel coordinator can’t cut it in the Kwoon Room with me, then what’s the point of him being here?” 

Tsunade is stone silent for a long moment. Slowly, she holds her hand out for Naruto’s tablet. 

“Fine. If it will satisfy your ego.”

Despite the previous argument, Naruto lights up like a megawatt bulb and shoves the tablet into her arms eagerly. Sasuke takes a moment to take a pull from his water bottle and wipe the sweat from his face as Naruto tugs off his boots and grabs a staff. 

Sasuke sizes Naruto up and he feels the other man doing the same as they step to their own sides of the mat. He’s certainly in great physical shape, his t-shirt fitting snugly over his chest, tanned arms toned with lithe, solid muscle. His blue eyes are sharp, his movements deliberate as he flips his staff around and settles into an offensive stance. Sasuke eases into a more neutral one. 

“You’re gonna eat your words, Uchiha,” he says with a toothy grin. 

“I’m sure I will, deadweight.” He brings his staff up quickly, stopping an inch from Naruto’s skull. “One-zero. Focus”

Naruto blinks, and then growls. 

“Shut it.” He swings his staff and it clacks against Sasuke’s once, before he feints and gets the tip of it under Sasuke’s chin. He smirks. “One-one.”

Okay. Alright. Sasuke steps back and switches his stance. He’s going to have to take this seriously. 

_Clack! Clack! Clack!_ Naruto isn’t the most graceful fighter, but what he lacks in that department he makes up for with sheer power and unpredictability. Sasuke arches back to dodge a wide swipe of the staff and gently checks Naruto in the ribs. 

“Two-one.” 

For the first time that afternoon, Sasuke finds his limits tested. He blocks two strikes, rears back to counter, onto to find his staff hooked and he’s suddenly being bodily hurled to the floor. He rolls to his feet but he’s already checked. A genuine curl of delight goes through Sasuke’s gut. 

“Two-two.”

This was getting _fun._

They both take a step back, reevaluating, slowly circling each other. 

Sasuke makes the first move this time and he _feels_ it turn into a conversation. The cracking of the staffs, the grunts and heavy breaths as they collide again and again, evenly matched. Sasuke’s hands hurt from the vibrations in the staff and Naruto takes advantage of a moment’s hesitation to feint, roll behind him, and check the small of his back. 

“Three-two.” 

Naruto stands, only for Sasuke to whirl and swipe his feet out from under him. 

“Three-three.” 

Naruto rolls to his feet, bracing himself, launching back into it. They’re at match point, and Sasuke can feel the anticipation buzzing through the crowd, can feel the sentiment being echoed down his spine, into his fingertips. 

With a duck, a twist, and a flourish, Sasuke finds an opening and flips them both to the ground, one knee braced on Naruto’s arm, staff hovering right next to his neck. 

“Four-three. My match.” He stands, freeing Naruto. 

Naruto curses under his breath, sitting up and rubbing the back of his neck. He freezes when Sasuke offers his hand. His eyes narrow suspiciously but he takes it and allows himself to be pulled to his feet.

“I think we’ve both seen what we need to, right Marshal?” Sasuke says. He looks over his shoulder at Tsunade. A troubled frown deepens the lines on her face.

“Yes.”

“Permission to use the test pods, then?”

Tsunade’s eyes are flint. She’s definitely not happy with this outcome for reasons Sasuke can't pinpoint.

“... Granted.”

“Wait, what?” Naruto is looking between Sasuke and Tsunade, bewildered.

Sasuke rolls his eyes and wacks Naruto in the gut softly. 

“We’re Compatible, moron. Let’s see how you cut it in the simulators.”

Naruto sputters incoherently for a moment. 

“I’m Drift Compatible with _you?!”_

“Is there a problem?”

“YES, there’s a problem, you’re an asshole!” 

“Well, this asshole has a jaeger sitting in the hangar that needs a second pilot. So are you going to put up with me or not?” He raises an eyebrow at Naruto. The man puffs up before jabbing his finger into Sasuke’s chest. 

“If you think for _one second_ I’m going to deal with your shitty attitude in the Drift, you’re insane. So you better learn some manners before we _ever_ step foot in a jaeger!” 

Sasuke feels his lips curl into a grin. 

Good. He wouldn’t have it any other way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Hint: if you're having trouble imagining a 30-year-old Sasuke with scruff, copy and paste the image of older Noctis from FFXV into your brain.)


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm shorter chapters this time around I guess. They'll probably elongate as I get into the swing of this story. Enjoy!
> 
> Content warnings for mild bodily trauma in this one.

The test pods are kept in the upper levels, almost directly under LOCCENT so that it can be monitored, just in case some stupid cadets sneak in and try to drift unsupervised. It’s gotten more than one moron killed, and cost a lot of money in equipment damages. 

Speaking of which, they needed to find the Drift tech on duty before they could even consider entering. When Sasuke and Naruto approach the room, the interior is dark and the door is locked, so the easiest option was a no-go. Naruto kicks the door with a halfhearted impatience. 

“Ugh, he’s  _ always  _ in there-- I can’t believe the one time we actually need him he’s off doing something else.”

“Should we go find him?”

Naruto sighs and rubs the back of his head. 

“No, he’ll be back soon. He’s probably on a break. Drifted sim training doesn’t start for another hour anyways.”

Sasuke shrugs, plants his back on the wall, and slides down until he’s cross-legged on the floor next to the door. Naruto follows suit on the wall opposite him. He crosses his arms, squinting at him judgmentally across the gap. Sasuke returns it evenly. 

“What?”

“I’m trying to decide whether I hate you or not.”

That startles a snort out of him. 

“Is it a difficult decision?”

“If I hate you, we probably won’t Drift well, compatibility be damned.”

“Oh, so he  _ can  _ be logical.”

“Shut up. I know it might come as a shock to you, but I  _ am  _ one of the top Ranger cadets.”

“It’s not a shock.”

Naruto sits back, stunned silent for a beat. 

“What?”

Sasuke shakes his head. 

“It’s not a shock. You’re agile, quick on your feet, and a fast thinker. You wouldn’t have checked me three times if that weren’t the case.” Since he’s probably got at least another fifteen minutes to spare, Sasuke reaches into his pocket and pulls out his rumpled pack of smokes. He only has a few left, but thankfully the Shatterdome has a more realistic expectation of its inhabitants than the AKW corporate did. He shakes ones loose, and digs for his lighter. Naruto’s shoulders hunch up, cheeks puffing out.

“Why do you do that?”

“Do  _ what?”  _

“Make everything you say sound like some thinly veiled insult! Not everyone can read your mind, you know.”

The cigarette falls out of Sasuke’s mouth. 

_ “Not everyone can see you like I do. You should try to be nicer.” _

Ah. They were auditory now. Wonderful. Sasuke angrily digs his finger into his ear, as if the static could physically shake the hallucination loose. He jams the cigarette back in his mouth with a grimace and hurries to light it up. 

“Forgive me for cutting to the chase when we’re all on a time limit.” 

Naruto grunts and doesn’t say anything else. Sasuke leans his head back against the wall with his eyes closed and smokes and tries to empty his mind. He’d be stepping into the Drift for the first time in over five years with a man he had only just met and with whom he’d spent a majority of that time fighting with. 

Ugh, god, he was going to have to give him the  _ Talk.  _

“Hey.”

“What?”

“Before we step into each other’s heads, is there anything you want to tell me? Memories I should tread lightly through?” Sasuke waits a beat before he lowers his gaze to find Naruto’s, but the other man is fiddling with his hands, agitating the cosmetic holo on his prosthetic. It buzzes, the blue lines appearing again. 

“I guess losing this wasn’t exactly one of my highlights,” he says, voice subdued. “Well... pretty much everything before I was fifteen sucked ass.” He glances up. “What about you?”

Just spit it out, it’s not a big deal...

“I’m trans.” 

He’s thirty-two and this shit still makes him nervous. Naruto blinks. Crosses his arms. Sasuke’s teeth bite into the filter. 

“Alright.”

“Is it going to be an issue?” 

“Not for me, no, I don’t care. I mean, so is the old ha _ aaa--”  _ Naruto’s eyes fly open and he slams his mouth shut. “H... haaaatter...” Sasuke raises an eyebrow. 

“The old hatter?”

“Yeah, you know, the janitor that... makes hats... also. Super trans. Very cool. Anyways, back to you.” He’s sweating bullets and a terrible,  _ terrible  _ liar but it’s not like he’s saying anything Sasuke doesn’t already know. He ashes his smoke off to the side.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. 

“Is there anything else I should know about?” Naruto asks, a taught pinch to his tone as he bulldozes further in the conversation.

“I’m also gay.” 

Naruto surprises him by letting out a sharp bark of laughter. 

“Oh, okay,  _ that  _ one I knew. Sakura’s never that friendly with the straights.” 

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. 

“The  _ straights _ ?” Naruto looks offended.

“Wait, you don’t think  _ I’m  _ straight, do you?” 

“I dunno, the hopeless crush on Haruno sort of convinced me.” Sasuke smirks around another pull of his cigarette, calm and confident as if a knot of tension in his chest weren’t unspooling and flooding him with relief. Naruto lets out this frustrated yell and grabs his hair. 

“I pierced my  _ ear,  _ I bleached my  _ hair,  _ what more do I have to  _ do?!”  _ He puts his face in his hands and groans long enough to make Sasuke genuinely laugh. 

“Alright, alright, I get the picture. I think we’ll Drift just fine.” 

Naruto sighs and puts his elbow on his knee, cheek in hand as he gives Sasuke a crooked grin. 

“Yeah. I guess I can put up with you.”

“Naruto? I told you to let me know  _ ahead  _ of time if you want a private session.”

At the sound of the Drift tech’s approach, Sasuke slowly gets to his feet and immediately regrets sitting on the ground for so long as his tailbone tweaks painfully. He keeps having to remind himself he’s not twenty anymore. 

Jesus. When did he get so  _ old?  _

Naruto, on the other hand, immediately leaps to his feet. 

“Iruka! I know, I know, sorry, but this one’s actually really important, the old lady told us to come here.” 

Iruka? That name is familiar. Sasuke watches the man approach, brown skinned, with long hair and a scar across his nose. His gaze falls to Sasuke and it clicks. 

“Officer Umino?”

Iruka stops in front of the two of them, opens his mouth, closes it, and his eyes widen. His face splits into a wide smile.

“Well I’ll be damned! Sasuke Uchiha, back in the flesh,” he offers his hand, which Sasuke shakes politely. 

“Still running the sims, I see.”

“Do what you know, eh? My skills here are so specialized now I’d never be able to work out in the real world anyways. Since you’re loitering around my test pods, I assume you’re looking to try them out?”

“That’s the plan.” 

He looks between Naruto and Sasuke and this strangely hesitant look comes over his expression. 

“Maybe you can straighten out our wild card, huh?” He pats Naruto’s shoulder before brushing past them both and tapping his ID card to the door, making it beep and the lock thud out of place. Naruto and Sasuke exchange a look. 

“I don’t think I’ll be straightening  _ anything  _ out anytime soon.”

He walks into the room, leaving Naruto choking on his wheeze in the hallway. 

* * *

The drive suits in here are cracked, paint chipped from being passed around who knew how many cadets before he was being strapped into them. A few other techs were tightening straps on him, but Sasuke just stares pensively at the helmet sitting on the rolling tray; if he squints, he can see his reflection in the plastic. 

Clean-shaved face, overgrown hair pulled back in the smallest of ponytails. It's familiar and foreign all at once-- if he could ignore the scar on his eyebrow, it was almost like he could look over and see his brother, teasing him about how he was too skinny for the drive suits. 

But the drive suit fits him fine now and Naruto's voice grumbles at the techs when they pinch his skin while tightening the buckles. 

Familiar and foreign all at once...

Iruka takes his place in the center control room, a glorified glass tube to keep an eye on the five chambers spaced evenly around him. The speakers in the room crackle for a moment, drawing the attention of both pilots. 

“Alright, the techs are hooking everything up now. Please step into the hot spots.” 

The test chambers are decently spacious, with yellow footprints painted on the ground to denote where the pilots should stand. Long cords descend from the ceiling like creepy tendrils, waiting to be plugged into the helmet and armor on Sasuke. He takes his place and Naruto takes his, about five feet to his right. 

About the distance that would be between them if they were in a jaeger. Sasuke tries not to think about that-- tries not to think about anything, really. The clearer his mind is, the easier it would be to get past the in-between and into the Drift proper.

Finally, the techs pick up the helmet and Sasuke dips his head to allow it to be placed snugly over him. Everything’s dark and murky, very little light filtering through the relay gel, but as soon as he feels the main cord pop into the proper socket, the gel drains and goes through the armor, a cool, static feeling that settles at the base of his neck, buzzing quietly.

Both men now properly hooked up, the techs file quietly out of the chamber and close the door behind them. Immediately, all sounds of the outside world are silenced. The speakers in their helmets click.

_ “Ranger Uchiha, Ranger cadet Uzumaki, this is Marshal Senju _ ." Both boys glance at each other as Tsunade’s tinny voice filters through.  _ “I will be observing this initial Drift attempt and should I find any aspect of it lacking, we will be returning to the Kwoon Room to test the remaining candidates, am I clear?” _

“Yes ma’am.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hag.” 

Sasuke bites his lip to avoid laughing out loud. Even though the control room can turn  _ their  _ mic on and off, the helmet mics are always on and always broadcasting whatever comes out of his mouth. He didn't think laughing would do either of them any favors. 

But Naruto’s blatant disregard of authority figures was starting to get amusing. Iruka clears his throat nervously.

_ “U-uh, booting up the Pons interface now.” _ A sharp shock goes down Sasuke’s spine as the system starts up and he hears Naruto yelp. 

“ _ Ow,  _ fucking-- I thought you guys fixed this pod!”

_ “We did,” _ Iruka says, strangely cheerful,  _ “it doesn’t electrocute people anymore.” _

“Defenders of humanity and  _ this  _ is the kind of funding you guys get?” Sasuke mutters. 

_ “You know how investors are about their bottom line, Uchiha.” _ It’s Tsunade this time and Sasuke sighs and shakes his head. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He rolls his shoulders. “Ranger Uchiha, ready to initiate the Drift.” 

Naruto’s complaining immediately ceases. 

“Ranger cadet Uzumaki, ready to initiate the Drift.”

_ “Initiating pilot-to-pilot protocol in five... four... three... two... one...”  _

There’s a pressure at the base of Sasuke’s skull and his vision goes dark. He feels his mind stretch and expand, groaning as a muscle that he hasn’t flexed in years is tested. 

Suddenly he’s... in the in-between. 

A vast, dark space that echoes and crackles as two minds brush against each other for the very first time. Language is muddled here, thoughts and feelings zipping by faster than words could ever hope to keep up with. He’s calm, he’s focused, he’s... excited. Anxious. Eager to prove himself. Wants to make Tsunade proud.

Without even needing to search, he finds him.

Naruto is almost blisteringly hot. He doubletakes, nearly shrinking back from the massive, swirling,  _ overwhelming  _ presence that is the Uzumaki kid. Passion and heart crash into Sasuke and he nearly finds himself overwhelmed, but then it’s... strangely steadying. Like when lava meets the ocean-- hissing, curling steam but then there’s suddenly stone and they’re...

One. 

_ Sorry,  _ he feels Naruto echo through the inbetween.  _ Sorry, excited, sorry, sorry.  _

He apologizes a lot when he doesn't have a filter. Sasuke focuses on the calm, on being the eye of the storm, and they level out, a blur of blue and orange swirling slowly into a clearer picture. 

_ Ready? _

_ Ready! Ready! Ready!  _

The anticipation would have made him smile if he had anything resembling a mouth in this space. The sort of excitement that only came with naivety; oh, if only Drifting were as easy as meeting. 

It’s a good sign that when Sasuke opens his mind to the Drift, Naruto knew exactly what he was going to do: anticipated it, met him perfectly in the middle, easily ceded the reins to the more experienced pilot. 

Any doubts that Sasuke had had about them being Drift Compatible vanished. Sasuke grips Naruto and they hurtle over the edge, into the abyss of the Drift. 

Memories surge to fill the space, triggered by the overstimulation, bursting free from the dusty recesses of his mind:

_ Boiling hot summers in the country, his grandparents pinching his cheeks, spitting watermelon seeds off the porch, his mother’s fingers running through his hair, happy squealing as Itachi lifts him onto his shoulders-- _

_ Smoke in his nose, blood in his throat, screaming as Itachi rips him away from a body still warm, carrying him over broken lumber, sprinting down the street barefoot as fighter planes scream over head but none of them were as loud as the monster on the shore-- _

_ Sparks flying as the hull is breached, the violent wrenching of metal as the jaeger is knocked backwards, Itachi looking at him, speaking words he can’t hear before glowing blue rips his brother from the cockpit, snapping plastic and bones and screaming fills his comm, and then it’s silent, silent,  _ **_silent--_ **

Memories in here are always stronger, brought to the surface with crystalline clarity that make them pierce as deeply as the day they’d happened. It’s difficult, even more difficult than he had anticipated, but there’s a warmth at his back, burning him, grounding him, and he lets the memories go, lets the tidal wave crash over him but stands rock-steady at the end of it. 

He’s in the Drift. Naruto isn’t far behind. 

_ His cheek aches, his tooth is gone, and the ice doesn’t do shit as he sits in the police station, raised voices on the other side of the door muffled but it’s not like he needs super hearing to realize they’re talking about him-- _

_ He’s watching the tape again, the last battle his parents ever fought against the first ever category four; he’s holding the letter, holding the Medal of Honor they gave him for their service because it’s the only connection he’s ever had to them and he’s cursing them because if they had loved him they wouldn’t have  _ **_left_ ** _ him here in this hellhole-- _

_ He didn’t know whether finding his godfather was better or worse than being alone. Was it better to know that someone  _ should  _ have been there thirteen years ago but wasn’t, as long as you have him now? But he’s getting into a jaeger with his two ‘closest friends’ and he’s  _ **_leaving_ ** _ again, and you know that this time he isn’t--  _

_ Tsunade is crying, even as she grabs him by the front of his coat, even as she spits blood as her injuries rip open because her two stupid co-pilots had ejected her from the jaeger and then self-destructed, taking the kaiju with them and-- _

_ He signs on as a cadet and Tsunade won’t speak to him for weeks.  _

Naruto and Sasuke suck in identical gasps as their eyes snap open as they surface on the other side of the Drift, minds and bodies in sync. Iruka gives a disbelieving chuckle into his helmet. 

_ "Alright, you were both a little rocky starting out but your levels are looking good."  _

"Christ, we both have some serious baggage, don't we?" Sasuke says with a forced laugh. He can feel the Drift wavering at the edges, his mind trying to find the right way to fit with Naruto's. Not the easiest connection, but nothing that can't be fixed with time and practice.

"Uh, yeah. We should probably... talk about that later... or something." Naruto sounds strained and Sasuke immediately turns to look, concern welling between their connection. 

"Are you--?" 

"I'm fine, I just... this is never easy for me, I need..." He screws his eyes shut but Sasuke knows immediately that it's a mistake. His shoulder jerks back, muscles spasming as his vision is assaulted with fragments of a  _ powerful _ memory that isn't his, broken pieces of concrete and debris scattering in front of him, flickering in and out of his vision. He shakes his head, trying to pull out of the hallucination.

_ "Uchiha, Naruto is  _ way  _ out of alignment-- he's going to start spiraling soon."  _ Iruka sounds infuriatingly calm, as if this isn't a surprise. 

As if he expected this. 

Sasuke doesn't really have time to examine that train of thought because his brain feels like it's on fire as Naruto's mind grinds against him in all the wrong ways, one foot in reality and one in the rabbit hole. Sasuke steps out of his hot spot, close enough to grip Naruto's elbow, one of the only areas not covered with the drive suit. 

"Naruto, let the memory go. Remember why we're here, don't latch onto it." He shakes his arm. "Naruto? Naruto!" 

He's not listening. His eyes are foggy despite the intense focus in them as he looks at something that isn't there. Sasuke can feel the insistent yanking on his temples, trying to draw him into the memory as well. Sasuke shakes him again, but more out of frustration than with any intention to wake him-- he knows that nearly nothing is going to break this. Whatever he's seeing, it's deeply knotted in his psyche and he can't pull it loose from this side. 

If he can't figure this out, Tsunade isn't going to allow Naruto to be his co-pilot and it might have something to do with the fact that they're sharing a headspace right now, but  _ dammit  _ Sasuke already doesn't want anybody else. He can't explain it-- they don't even Drift particularly well, but there's a part of Sasuke that  _ desperately  _ wants to make this work.

He releases Naruto and steps back into his own zone. 

"Umino, if I'm not out again in five minutes, pull the plug." 

_ "What?"  _

"I'm going to bring him out from the other side." 

_ "Wh--?! Uchiha, you know how risky that is, just break the Drift! I'll terminate the protocol and he'll come out of it."  _

"But that isn't going to please the Marshal, is it?" 

The silence on the other end is all he needs. 

"We'll even out. I know it. Just give me five minutes." 

There's a taught moment of silence. 

_ "The clock starts now, Uchiha,"  _ Tsunade finally acquiesces. Sasuke grins crookedly, relaxes his shoulders, closes his eyes and gives into the tide. 

Almost immediately, an intense sensation of vertigo slams into him and it feels like he's been knocked back, falling head over heels endlessly through a deafening silence. 

He hits concrete and the wind is knocked out of him. His chest aches. He struggles to take a breath, and when he does, the smell of smoke and ash come with it.

A kaiju alarm is blaring somewhere in the distance, and a burst pipe is hissing steam nearby. His vision clears and he's... 

Somewhere in Hong Kong. Broken neon signs in Cantonese characters spark dangerously in the street in front of him. A huge swath of buildings have been flattened, including the one he's standing in, ash and broken glass and rubble littering the ground like snow. The carnage is almost... serene. Everything is muffled, quiet in the way that only death is. 

He looks around, trying to find Naruto to pull him out-- 

"FUCK!" 

Sasuke jumps, steps to the side, looks down. He's nearly sick in his helmet. 

Naruto is maybe 17. He's on his side, clothes torn, tear-tracks in the soot on his face...

Arm pinned beneath a piece of concrete. Blood pools underneath him and Sasuke can just see the mangled remnants of his limb on the other side, black from a lack of circulation. 

He's been here a while. 

Naruto beats weakly on the piece of concrete. 

"Fuck...  _ fuck.  _ I can't-- I'm not supposed to die  _ here,  _ what the fuck kind of shitty ass karma is this? What the  _ fuck?" _ His voice is high-pitched and hysterical, out of breath as he hyperventilates. Sasuke slowly crouches down near his head. Part of him ached to help, but he knows if he touches him, his fingers will just pass right through him.

"Alright, play time's over. Let's get out of here." 

No response, just more frustrated wheezing. Sasuke tries a different approach. 

"C'mon, snap out of it! This happened years ago, you  _ know  _ it did. You're in Nagasaki. You're Drifting with me and you chased the R.A.B.I.T. None of it's real. You lived and you beat this and you came out stronger." 

A dull grief grips Sasuke's throat. 

He remembers the first time he had chased a memory that held nothing but pain. Remembers coming up from it, disoriented and exhausted but with Itachi's voice soothing him through the worst of it. Repetitive phrases had helped him, grounded him. Maybe it would work on Naruto as well...

"You  _ lived,"  _ he repeats, voice softer. "You beat this. You came out of it stronger. You--" 

"So what?!" Naruto snaps. Sasuke's eyes widen as he jerks back slightly. Is it... working? The boy in question beats the concrete again. 

"So what if I live?! Everybody always tells me there's a reason for the suffering, but where the fuck is the reason for  _ this?  _ I fuck up, I'm punished, I do good, I'm punished, I do  _ nothing,  _ I'm still fucking punished! My entire existence I've been  _ cursed,  _ so what's the point?! What's the point? What's -- _ hic--  _ what's the fucking p- _ point?"  _ He dissolves into tears, nails dragging across stone until they crack and bleed, streaking red across the gray. 

So, Naruto couldn't hear him, not really, but something about Sasuke's presence was leaking into his mind so he had to keep trying. He wasn't sure how much time had passed in the real world-- it could be microseconds or his time limit could be nearly up. He had to make every second count. 

"You met Sakura. You met Iruka. You met Tsunade.  _ That's  _ the point. Meeting people who care about you is the point. Eating your favorite food is the point. Digging your toes into the sand at the beach is the point.  _ Living  _ is the point, to prove every bastard you've met in your life wrong. You can't live in the past. You need to  _ wake up, Naruto."  _

Naruto stills, curling up and covering his face as his shoulders continue to shake. Sasuke tries speaking again but it doesn't seem to work anymore; he sighs and rubs the face of his helmet wearily.

"It's weird..." 

Sasuke's head whips around. 

Naruto is sitting on the ruined remains of what might have once been a bar, arms crossed over his chest. It's the  _ real  _ Naruto-- older, clad in the navy blue test pod drive suit. The light from the sparking neon sign outside the window reflects in his helmet. He's looking at his younger self, brows pinched. Sasuke stands. 

"What's weird?" 

"You'd think I'd be used to seeing this, considering how I get raked through it every time I try to Drift." 

"It's the Pons system. The way it stimulates--" 

"I know what it does. I've read every book, every article, meditated for hours, tried the sims until my nose bled. Nothing works. I'm always falling out of alignment."

Silence blankets them. The siren continues to wail in the background. The broken grass crunches under Sasuke's boots as he shifts.

"Why didn't you tell me this before we went in?" 

"Would  _ you  _ want to Drift with a half-baked failure?" 

Sasuke's chest swells with anger. 

"Of  _ course _ I would, you moron." 

Naruto leans back, stunned. 

"If you have issues Drifting, that's where I'm supposed to compensate, dipshit. We're  _ partners."  _

Naruto doesn't speak for several long seconds. He gives a few aborted attempts before Sasuke gets impatient and cuts him off.

"We need to wake up." 

"I know..." 

"... So?" 

Naruto sighs through his nose. 

"Just... give it a second." 

"Why?" 

Naruto doesn't respond. A beat passes, then he nods towards the street. 

"Naruto?! NARUTO?!" 

Someone is screaming in the street and the teenaged version of him perks his head up, using his free hand to wipe his nose. 

"Here!" He cries hoarsely, voice cracking. "I'm here! I'm in here!" 

Boots thud over asphalt and Sasuke watches with a jolt of surprise as Tsuande runs into view. She's... in civvies, hair down in two low, tangled pigtails, ash on her face. Younger. Two day old makeup shadowed around her eyes. 

"You fucker!" She snaps in a voice on the verge of a full blown panic attack. "You-- you  _ fucker _ , what did I tell you?! Saving one stupid fucking kid instead of going to the shelter I'm-- I'm going to beat your ass so badly when we're through this!" She rounds the hunk of concrete, at least as big as a car, and drops to her knees near Naruto. "You...! Shit, what have you done?" Her voice goes soft as her hands find his cheeks. Naruto chuckles weakly and leans into it. 

"I didn't really have a say in where all the flying rubble landed." 

She looks like she wants to strangle him. 

"I'm going to strangle you." 

She stands, kicks a broken table away to give herself room to stand, looking for handholds in the concrete. She can't  _ possibly  _ be considering lifting that by herself...? 

"Granny... Granny, wait, that's not going to work. Can you just-- can you just sit with me? I just want--" 

"I don't give a shit what you want right now, Naruto!" She gives an initial heave, only for the stone to break off in her hand. She spits a string of violent curses and finds another spot. "I don't give a shit because I'm taking you back to the Shatterdome and you're going to get so many transfusions and surgeries you'll make Dolly fucking Parton look like a god damned natural beauty and you're going to be  _ fine  _ until I say otherwise!" 

Naruto's eyes well up with tears, even as he wipes them away uselessly. 

"Y... yes ma'am." 

Tsunade squats, puts her back into it, and lets out a furious roar as she-- 

The entire memory glitches and then shatters and Sasuke is violently ripped out of the drift as the power is cut.

He physically stumbles as he's forced back into the real world and the only reason why he didn't fall flat on his ass is because there were three techs surrounding him, rushing to disconnect him before he damaged something.

He feels nauseous and his head is  _ splitting  _ with a migraine from the forceful ejection from the Drift. There's an iron tang on his tongue and touches his upper lip-- he's got one hell of a nosebleed. 

Through the open chamber door, he can see Iruka making angry gestures at Tsunade. She drops the cable she had ripped out of the wall and hits the mic button. 

_ "Take the rest of the day off, Uchiha. I'll see you back in the Kwoon Room tomorrow." _

She fixes her uniform and levels both of them with a cool look,  _ daring  _ them to question her decision. Sasuke looks over at Naruto, only to find the man glaring  _ thunderously  _ at the Marshal. 

"Na--" 

He suddenly rips off his helmet, hurling it furiously into the corner of the room to the dismay of the techs. He shoves them off and rips off the remaining pieces of the drive suit, discarding them as he makes his way out of the chamber and then out of the test room completely. The slam of the door echoes around them. 

Sasuke lets the techs remove the drive suit and offer him a tissue for the nose bleed. He's shaky on his feet, but gets up in time to intercept Tsunade before she leaves as well. He gets a moment of whiplash, seeing her older and composed in full uniform, compared to the mess he had witnessed in Naruto's memory. Even so--

"You knew this was going to happen. You  _ knew  _ he had issues with Drifting." 

Tsunade gives him a look from toe to head. She turns away and puts her hand on the doorknob. 

"He never would have stopped asking if I didn't let him try." 

"So you  _ purposely  _ let him dash his hopes against the rocks?" Fury swells in his chest and Sasuke has never been closer to laying hands on a superior officer. "That's low, even for you." 

"I don't remember asking your permission,  _ Ranger.  _ In fact, I explicitly remember  _ you  _ asking for  _ mine.  _ If anyone has dashed his hopes against the rocks, it's you. Now I suggest you take a step back and fix your attitude or I will not hesitate to write you up, am I clear?" 

Sasuke grinds his teeth so hard he's distantly concerned they'll crack. 

"Yes."

"Yes  _ what?"  _

"Yes. Ma'am." 

She narrows her eyes at him but nods and twists the doorknob. 

"Glad we understand each other."

She disappears out the door and he angrily wipes the blood from his nose again. He hears footsteps behind him and turns to see Iruka, worry written all over his face.

"I'm sorry she pulled you guys out like that-- I didn't think she'd... well. I mean, the five minutes were up, but you guys were falling back in sync. You probably would have gotten it under control in the next few seconds, I just don't understand--" 

"Oh, I understand exactly what's going through her head right now," Sasuke mutters darkly. Iruka tilts his head in confusion before it clicks. 

"Ah, the uh... Naruto's memories." 

Sasuke sighs and blows his nose, dislodging a congealed clot of snot and blood. 

"Can you show me his sim scores? Drift percentages?" He asks, looking at Iruka. The man scratches his nose. 

"Sure, I guess." 

He leads Sasuke into the control booth, sitting down in front of the main computer and tapping his ID on the scanner. It barely takes a second before Naruto's chart is flashing on the screen. Sasuke nearly chokes. 

" _ Eight  _ percent? How the hell does the top ranger cadet have a Drift score of  _ eight  _ percent? I thought the cut off was  _ seventy."  _

Iruka shrugs helplessly. 

"Naruto has a nearly perfect record in the solo sims. Two hundred and thirty-six drops, two hundred and thirty kills. He's undefeated in the Kwoon Room, and his compatibility range is astronomical. He can match with nearly anyone." 

"And yet...?" 

"Just because he's compatible doesn't mean he can  _ Drift.  _ Every single time he's in here, which is a  _ lot  _ mind you, he just... falls out of it. Like something is pushing him out and competing for the headspace." Iruka rubs the back of his neck wearily, looking at the bright red 8% marker that taints the screen amongst the bright green of all his other scores. 

"If you wanted my personal, unprofessional, not-on-the-books theory--" he gives Sasuke a Look, "I think it's because his brain is damaged from childhood trauma. Extended isolation stunting the development of his interpersonal skills, untreated depression for nearly a decade... I don't know how much you saw in the Drift, but Naruto is... well..." 

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. 

"Naruto's parents were the pilots of Scarlet Thunder." 

"You're  _ kidding."  _

Scarlet fucking Thunder-- the first ever Mark III jaeger, holding the record for the most kills until Desert Bleed and her pilots came along seven years ago. One of the first jaegers to fall, an omen as to the long string of failures that would follow.

Sasuke remembers watching a tape of their final, furious fight, wondering why they'd just leave him  _ alone-- _

Oh. Not his memory, but suddenly the fragment he saw made more sense. He rubs his temple.

"Naruto was four when it happened. In the chaos of everything else going on..." 

"Just another one of the Missing Generation." 

"Yeah." 

A heavy silence falls over both of them, the facsimile of Naruto on the screen staring out at them with piercing blue eyes, almost judgemental. Iruka leans back in his chair and sighs.

"He's a bright kid, and he works harder than anyone I've ever met, but... maybe he's just not meant to be a pilot." 

Sasuke deeply disagreed. 

"If I wanted to find him, where would I look?" 

* * *

A stop by the infirmary, a  _ generous  _ dose of painkillers and a dirty look from the nurses when he refused to stay in bed later, Sasuke was winding through the upper levels of the Shatterdome. 

There were five helicopter pads scattered around different entry points for ease of access, but thankfully Sasuke got lucky on the third one. It's dark by now, but Naruto's blond hair sticks out like a sore thumb. He's sitting on the edge of the platform, legs stuck through the rungs on the railing and dangling off the edge.

"Hey moron." 

His head lifts and he turns, glowering at Sasuke. 

"If you've come to gloat, I'm gonna knock your teeth in." 

Sasuke shuffles over and takes a seat next to Naruto, leaving a rung of space between them. He pulls out his smokes and digs out the last one. It's windy up here, but after spending six months in Alaska, he's well-versed in the art of shielding his lighter. 

"What's there to gloat about?" 

Naruto clicks his tongue irritably. 

"I don't know, something about me being a wannabe recruit, something about me being weak-minded and unable to control my memories, something something I'm going to get people killed if I step foot in a jaeger. Something." He rests his forehead glumly on the bars. "I've heard it all." 

"If you've heard it all, what's got your panties in such a twist this time?" 

Naruto growls under his breath. 

"I don't know! I thought this time was going to be different! I thought--! I don't know  _ what  _ I thought, but I guess it doesn't really matter, does it?" 

Sasuke puffs on his cigarette, watching quietly as Naruto gently bangs his forehead on the bars. 

"I want to pilot a jaeger more than anything in the world. I want to  _ protect  _ people, I want--" 

"Want other kids to not go through what you did?" Sasuke blinks, surprised at himself-- he hadn't even meant to say that. Naruto gives him a strange look, but it passes quickly enough. 

"Yeah. No more missing parents. No more missing kids." 

Sasuke ashes his cigarette over the edge of the helicopter pad, the wind scattering it. He rolls it between his fingers, smoke slowly curling out of his lips. 

"I lost my family when I was eight. The only reason that me and my brother had survived is because we had been playing in the forest behind our house when it happened. We ran back as fast as possible but... there was just nothing left." 

Naruto is quiet, but Sasuke can tell he's listening intently.

"Itachi was the only thing I had left. And then I lost him too." 

Sasuke pauses to take a long drag, holding it in until his lungs start to ache.

"For a long time I wanted  _ vengeance _ . I wanted to shove those fucking blue-blooded bastards back where they came from. I wanted to send them  _ running."  _ He sighs and leans his forehead against the bars. "I don't know what I want anymore. I guess I just want this to be over."

"... How old are you again?" 

Sasuke gives him a sour look. 

_ "Oi."  _

"I'm just asking!" 

"Young enough to whip you in the Kwoon Room." 

"Whatever. I just-- the way you talk about it sounds different. The kaiju. The war. I'm twenty-eight, so I mean... this is how it's always been for me. Everyone talks about the world before they started showing up but just... I can't imagine it."

Sasuke tilts his head back and exhales a long plume of smoke upwards. 

"It was..." His memories of that time are old and faded, fragmented behind newer traumas but there were things that stuck out. "Looking back, everything just seemed so  _ petty.  _ All the squabbling between countries, all the wasted energy... we've spent hundreds of years without needing to worry about monsters bursting out of the ocean and we spent it--" he scoffed, "--bitching over who had more oil or nuclear weapons or other useless shit. Even me. I threw a tantrum over my lunchbox once, you know? It has Thomas the Tank Engine on it and I wanted Power Rangers." 

"What's-- who the hell is Thomas the Tank Engine?" 

_ Oof.  _

"Old children's show about talking trains." 

"Oh. Huh." 

Sasuke takes one last hit off his cigarette and stubs it out, tucking the butt habitually into his chest pocket. He grabs the bars and uses them for leverage to haul himself to his feet. 

"Well, I think we've sat on our asses and wallowed in pity long enough. C'mon, get up." 

"What? Why?" 

"Well, you're not gonna be stepping foot in a jaeger with an eight percent Drift score."

Naruto flushes to the tips of his ears. 

"Hey  _ fuck  _ you--" 

"So let's boost it."

Naruto gets a vaguely fish-like expression on his face, mouth opening and closing around silent syllables. 

"Get back in the sim with me and drill until we shatter that eight percent into a thousand pieces." 

Naruto's expression darkened dubiously. 

"This is bizarrely optimistic of you. Why does me being your copilot matter so much to you?"

"Maybe I just want to take the Marshal's candidate list and shove it up her ass."

Naruto lets out a startled bark of laughter, even as he scrambles to his feet.

"Hey,  _ I  _ drafted that list, you know." 

"Did you? Huh, I was under the impression that some incompetent wannabe had made that." 

_ "Uchiha, I swear to god--"  _

* * *

Iruka looks like he ages ten years in the thirty seconds he spends in dead silence as he rakes his eyes up the form of Sasuke and Naruto --out of breath, clothes rumpled-- as they stand before him. All eager eyes and sheepish, pleading smiles. He sighs and readjusts the pile of datapads under one arm.

"I don't even know why I bothered locking up the room... Let me at least get a pot going." 

* * *

Neither Naruto or Sasuke were in their quarters and they were late. Tsunade checks her watch again. A low irritation rumbles in her chest and she presses a hand to the comm in her ear. 

"Hatake, where the hell is my busted Ranger?" 

There's a long beat of silence and when the earpiece finally clicks, the sound of munching fills her head. 

_ "The Test Pods have been active all night,"  _ her second in command says around a mouthful of what sounds like an overdone bagel.  _ "I know one person that can convince Iruka to damage his precious sleep schedule like that. And if what I've heard is true--"  _

"I don't want to know what you've heard. Make sure everyone's assembled by two. I'm the fucking Marshal-- herding cats is your job." She straightens her blazer and marches off in the direction of LOCCENT. 

_ "Ugh, I don't even like cats..."  _

Tsunade's expression must be thunderous because people scramble to get out of her way as she storms across the Shatterdome. 

She finds the door to the Test Pods and taps her ID to unbolt it.

She's prepared to start hollering but as soon as she opens the door, her voice catches in her throat. 

Iruka was out cold on the desk and snoring, four coffee mugs scattered around him. Sasuke and Naruto weren't doing much better, propped awkwardly against the wall in ill-fitted drive suits, probably giving themselves early-onset arthritis with the angles their heads were cocked at. 

Stepping quietly on the metal flooring, Tsunade leans over to peer at the flickering display Iruka is partially laying on. Sasuke and Naruto's performance cards are on full display, which is technically a breach in security protocols but it was way too early to be caring about protocol today.

_ Sasuke Uchiha [Out of date] _

_ Martial Capabilities: S  _

_ Simulator Score: 97/97 _

_ Drift Score: 87%  _

_ Naruto Uzumaki  _

_ Martial Capabilities: S  _

_ Simulator Score: 236/236 _

Tsunade's eyes catch. 

_ Drift Score: 54%  _

Naruto had spent months unable to break into double digits in his Drift Score. And in a single night... 

Tsunade exhales irritably and then exits, closing the door with a quiet click. She taps her earpiece again. 

"Move the two PM to four." 

_ "You do realize I'm not a secretary, right? Do the stars on this stupid jacket mean nothing? Does this mean I can start wearing my PJs again?"  _

"Hatake!" 

_ "Yeah, yeah, yeah..." _

Tsunade didn’t want to get her hopes up. She had long since learned that doing so only invited disappointment and despair, and that’s  _ not  _ what the Shatterdome needed right now. 

But... 

If  _ those  _ two could work together, then they just might be able to pull off a miracle. 


	3. Part III

"For Christ's sake, Naruto, knock it off."

"Shh! You'll wake him up!" 

"Naruto, the Marshal's going to be here any minute, I don't think that's the wisest thing to be doing..." 

Sasuke could only watch, grinning into his mug of strong, black tar that could be loosely defined as coffee as Naruto carefully adds his fifth bagel to the tower teetering precariously on Ranger Nara's head, the man snoring away on the table obliviously. The other rangers around the table were in varying states of amusement; Nara's partner, a man of impressive stature that would probably be more intimidating if his cheeks didn’t have a constant ruddy flush to them, looks caught somewhere between scolding Naruto and giving him his other bagel to add to the pile. Inuzuka has his jacket pulled over his mouth to muffle his snickering, and the Hyuuga girl looks anxious enough to give herself a hernia. The others... 

Well, meetings like this weren't exactly called to deliver _good_ news and they knew it. Grim faces and disapproving looks all around.

As for Sasuke, despite the incessant headache pounding at the back of his skull from excessive amounts of Drifting, he could be said to be in... decent spirits. The fact that he _and_ Naruto had been called in here at all spoke volumes on Tsunade's opinion of their matchup. 

Perhaps he was feeling a bit smug. Not that he'd admit it. 

Naruto was going for a record-breaking seventh bagel when a rubber band zings out of nowhere and pegs him in the eye. He yelps, the pile of bagels collapsing and bouncing in every direction, Nara snorting awake and looking at the ruins of the tower in bleary confusion. Naruto vigorously rubs his eye and Sasuke feels his own eye sting and well up in response. He curses under his breath and rubs it irritably. 

"What the hell was that for, Neji?!" Naruto snaps. The pilot at the other end of the table readjusts the cuff of his jacket nonchalantly. 

"This is a briefing for a mission that will make or break the future of the entire planet. Pay attention," his says crisply.

"Jeez, what crawled up your ass and died?" 

_"Excuse_ me?" 

"You heard me!" 

"You should watch your mouth-- a runt like you shouldn't even be in this _room,_ much less in a jaeger--"

" _Alright_ , that's enough," Akimichi placates, spreading two enormous hands in the air between Neji and Naruto as if that would somehow smother the animosity. "It was a harmless prank, Neji, lighten up." 

Sasuke takes a long sip from his mug. Different pilots, same shit. 

Naruto gathers up the bagels from the floor and brushes them off before proceeding to go to town on them, much to the displeasure of everyone at the table. 

"What? Thirty second rule?" 

"I thought it was _five_ second rule?" Inuzuka wrinkles his nose. 

"Have you _seen_ the shit they clean these floors with? I could _lick_ this off the floor and be totally fine." 

"Can we _not_ talk about licking floors while I'm trying to eat?" 

Someone clears their throat and the room immediately goes dead silent, all heads twisting to stare at the door. Kakashi Hatake, LOCCENT Overseer and Tsunade’s second in command, is holding open the door while Sakura, her blond coworker, and finally Tsunade herself file into the room. Sakura and the other scientist take the seat closest to the screen taking up a majority of the far wall, Hatake picking a corner to slouch against while Tsunade stands at the head of the table, dark gold eyes piercing through all of them. Something different is in the air and not even Naruto dares disturb it. 

She sets down her folder and flicks it open, breaking the tension. 

"Firstly, I'd like to officially welcome Sasuke Uchiha back to the position of Ranger...” Her eyes flicker up to land on Naruto and he probably doesn’t even notice the way he’s twisting his fingers together nervously. “...And I'd like to congratulate Naruto Uzumaki on his promotion." 

Naruto looks happy enough to cry and gets a solid thump on the back from Akimichi that nearly sends him face planting into the table. Neji looks mad enough to spit acid and Sasuke is just glad he’s more focused on his partner because he’s _certain_ the smirk on his face would have started a fight. 

"Getting straight to the point, I'm sure you've all heard rumors that I have something in mind for finishing the war once and for all. But first, I'd like Dr. Sakura Haruno and Dr. Ino Yamanaka to get you all up to date with what they've learned about the kaiju." 

For two people who supposedly worked together at the forefront of human advancement, Sakura and Ino could _not_ be more different. Sakura is... well, _Sakura._ Her coat is ripped at the shoulder and stained with all manner of things, bright pink hair piled on top of her head in a messy knot. Ino, on the other hand, didn't look like she belonged in K-science at _all._

The tall, slender, bombshell blonde type in a pencil skirt with her waist-length hair tied back in a severe ponytail. She pushes up her rimless glasses, manicured nails tapping on her tablet as she gracefully rises to her feet and replaces Tsunade at the head of the table. Inuzuka nudges his partner and whispers something too quiet to hear but undoubtedly vulgar. His partner, to their credit, only wrinkles their nose distastefully. 

The screen flickers on and the lights dim as a diagram of the breach is displayed. Ino clears her throat and begins. 

"Over the past thirty years, we've learned what can generously amount to a maybe a scrapbook's worth of concrete information on the Breach. It is both difficult and dangerous to scan, hence why we only check in on it every few months. We know that's atomic in nature, and seems to have a low tolerance for high-energy signatures passing through it, which is why only one kaiju can come through at a time at very specific intervals. This was the first reading of the Breach we got back in 2013." 

As she talks, she paces slowly about the front of the room with a rigid, professional aura and the tone of voice suggesting she rehearsed every word coming out of her mouth. When she gestures, the image of the Breach expands, a 3D model rotating slowly of a skinny, crooked tube connecting the human world and that of the Kaiju. It shrinks, retreating to the left hand side of the display. 

"This reading was taken two weeks ago." 

Chairs creak and soft, horrified inhales fill the room as a second model is projected. 

The Breach has more than doubled in width, crackling with energy at the openings. Sasuke feels his stomach turn, the coffee not sitting well. Ino takes a moment to let that sink in. 

"I predict that in roughly three months, we will see our first Category Five. Anywhere from six to eleven months after that will be our first double event. First two, then four, then eight. An exponential increase until the Breach will destabilize and start spreading, punching new holes into the Earth's crust along the seams of tectonic plates and unleashing a relentless stream of kaiju onto our planet. Though if I'm being optimistic, we'd all be dead by that point." 

Ino fiddles with something on the screen as an unbearable silence crushes them all. 

"I _assume_ there's a plan to stop this before we get fucked six ways from Sunday," Inuzuka interjects crudely. Ino's eyes zero in on him, narrowing. 

"Obviously. Now, we've tried going after the Breach multiple times before. Despite the fact that its volatile nature makes it vulnerable to attacks, everything we've thrown at it deflects off harmlessly, wastes resources, and puts unnecessary lives at risk. As of right now, attacking the Breach is fruitless and unless we buy ourselves more time to research it more thoroughly, we will run in circles directly off the cliff to our extinction. So Dr. Haruno has come up with a way to buy us a little more time." Ino suddenly gestures at Sakura who springs eagerly out of her chair, snatching the tablet right out of her arms. Yamanaka gives her a sour look but sits wordlessly. 

"Right! Okay. Breach is a no-go, got it? In the meantime, I've been testing every kaiju tissue sample I can get my hands on and I've discovered something fucking _bonkers."_ Sakura frantically stabs at the tablet for several seconds until a small barrage of images pop up on the screen. They're all various samples from kaiju, taken on what was probably an iphone. Sakura pulls a pen from her chest pocket and uses it to gesture emphatically to all of them. 

"So you see these, right? See how they all look different? Some are striated, some are smooth, some are actually mostly cartilage-- that one's from Trespasser, _the_ Trespasser, and you have no IDEA how difficult it was to get my hands on it--" 

"Get to the _point,_ Forehead." 

"I'm _getting_ there, Pig." Sakura huffs irritably and adjusts some of the images so that they're more easily seen. 

"Of all the samples I've tested, only one single thing has remained the same between them-- they all have the _same exact_ DNA. Every single kaiju that has come out of the Breach has been a _clone.”_ Unlike Yamanaka, Sakura darts energetically back and forth, trying to fit a thousand words at once in her mouth without spilling and stumbling. Sasuke wouldn’t have been surprised if she had taken all these pictures fifteen minutes ago in between shoveling poptarts in her mouth. 

“Listen, I don't care what kind of weird alien biology they have going on at the other end of the Breach, cloning doesn't just _happen_ . So here’s my theory-- the kajiu aren't just creatures, they're artificially engineered _soldiers._ And they're being bred for a _purpose_." She jabs the screen hard enough to cause the colors to distort into a rainbow before settling again.

"... You're saying the Breach wasn't an accident?" 

Everybody turns to look at Nara, who's rubbing a hand over his mouth, a _deeply_ troubled look on his face. Sakura points at him with the pen hard enough to dislodge the cap, sending it bouncing across the table and almost onto the floor, had it not been for Naruto’s quick reflexes.

"That is _exactly_ what I'm saying. We're not getting caught in the crossfire, we're being _targeted_." 

There's a beat.

"This is crazy. You're all thinking it too, right? This is _nuts,"_ Akimichi blurts.

"We've been being attacked by fuck-off gigantic aliens for thirty years now, I would've thought you had a bigger stomach for crazy, Chouji," Inuzuka says. 

"Rangers, _silence,"_ the Marshal barks suddenly. As soon as the arguing ceases, she gestures to Sakura to continue. The woman in question clears her throat. 

"Um, right. So... where was I?" 

"The kaijus are clones," Ino supplies in a bored drawl. 

"Right! Clones. Okay, there's a point to this. So we've established two things: the kaiju are artificially created soldiers, and they're probably attacking under orders. Been there done that, old news. We know that the Breach is a lost cause, at least until we can understand what's causing it to deflect our attacks and that could take _years_ before we have the technology for such a sophisticated radiothermal scan. Not to mention whenever we poke at the Breach it likes to spit out pissed off kaiju in response."

Sasuke couldn't help it-- he was impressed. She'd been in K-science, what, four years? And she's already pulled out more information in that time than humanity had extracted in three _decades._ That’s his girl.

"How do you _know?"_

Sasuke jumps as someone in the back pipes up. He turns and sees Inuzuka's partner-- or at least he assumes, judging from the matching insignias on their jackets. They'd been deathly silent the entire meeting and honestly, Sasuke had forgotten they were even there. He didn't even know their name. A pair of round, dark spectacles were perched on their nose, dark, curly hair and cool brown skin making them seem very at home in the dim light of the meeting room.

"I'm sorry, say that again?" Sakura tilts her head. The ranger lifts their head from the scarf tucked around their mouth and speaks a little louder. 

"You speak very confidently as if these are facts, rather than just theories you've cooked up to fit a rather small sum of evidence. What proof is there that there's any higher power at work?" 

"You're absolutely correct, it _is_ a pretty big leap of logic. Honestly, almost everyone thought I was crazy-- surprisingly, except for Ino." The blond in question rolls her eyes, even as she adjusts her glasses in a distinctly smug manner. 

"Anyways, once I had this hypothesis in mind, I started running some tests. I originally had the idea to try and use the drifting technology you all use in the jaegers, but with the uncontrollable transfer of data, we were far too at risk of spilling our secrets to _them_ than the other way around. So we made some adjustments-- and we made an AI to extract information from a piece of kaiju frontal lobe salvaged from the last attack in Sydney. And here's the _money shot_ , y'all." 

Crude turns of phrase aside, the sample images vanished, replaced with... 

An incomprehensible smattering of nonsense text, not even remotely English. The moment falls flat as everybody struggles to figure out what the hell it's supposed to be. 

"It's _kaiju coding!"_ Sakura looks like a kid on Christmas. She waves her hands around frantically. 

"We couldn't pull much because the brain fragment was damaged, and this is _alien coding_ , not to mention I'm pretty sure it's fucking encrypted and it's been a nightmare to translate, but it's _coding._ The kaiju have their orders _coded into their brains._ They’re like-- like highly advanced androids or something. This means that if _we_ can just make the right code, we can... well, hack their systems, for lack of a better term. We can make the kaiju fight _for_ us." 

You could have heard a pin drop. 

And then all hell breaks loose. 

"You can't seriously be considering trying to _control a kaiju--"_

"This is going to get every one of us killed!" 

"You barely have enough evidence to support the kaiju black ops theory, what the hell makes you think anyone would ever believe _this?!"_

"ENOUGH." 

Reluctantly, everyone drops back into their chairs as Tsunade takes the stage again. Disbelief, shock, and anger still simmer over the room, and Sasuke casts a concerned look at Naruto. 

He's chewing anxiously on his thumbnail, refusing to look at him as he sits on the edge of his seat. 

"I realize how _outlandish_ this plan sounds--" 

"Yeah, batshit off the walls fucking _crazy."_

"But I wouldn't have even entertained the idea if I hadn't been able to assure my Rangers' safety to a measurable degree. I'm not in the business of waging a mindless war-- I'm in the business of _saving lives."_

Inuzuka hunches down in his chair like a dog that's been cuffed about the head, decently ashamed. 

"Dr. Yamanaka is assembling a small team and with the help of Dr. Haruno's biological breakthroughs, they will be developing an Artificial Intelligence that could feasibly initiate a Drift with a kaiju and turn it to our side. Thankfully, we actually have a decent head start in that regard-- Uchiha, you might know it as the Sharingan protocol." 

Sasuke feels as if he's suddenly been doused in cold water. He feels the gazes of the other Rangers turn towards on him but he can’t tear his gaze away from the Marshal.

"You're _joking,_ right?" 

"I have never been more deadly serious about anything in my life." 

The chair screeches on the floor as Sasuke suddenly surges to his feet. 

"Me and my brother developed that program _together_ , it can't be used by anyone but us--" 

"Which is why you'll be running point when the time comes--" 

"I'm not doing it without him! It was _our_ AI, you can't just bastardize it into some-- some kaiju brainwashing _bullshit_ that might not even work!" 

Sasuke doesn't even know why he's so angry, why the idea of the protocol being revived, adapted, and changed to suit their needs disgusts him on such an intrinsic level. 

"It's just an AI, bro, what's got your panties in such a--? _Jesus._ " 

Sasuke _snarls_ at Inuzuka and the look in his eyes is fierce enough to send his chair rolling away from the table, face going white in panic. 

"Uchiha, _take a walk._ We'll reconvene after a ten minute break. Naruto, make sure he doesn't go scaring the techs," Tsunade snaps. Naruto can't scramble out of his chair fast enough, mumbling an uncharacteristic _yes ma'am_ under his breath. Sasuke glares holes in Tsunade before he turns and shoves the door open, marching out into the hall. 

Naruto makes several aborted attempts to speak to him as he walks, but Sasuke is still fuming. He makes it to the hangar before stopping on a catwalk, hands gripping the railing until his knuckles ache. He can hear Naruto's boots shuffling awkwardly on the grates behind. God, he needs a cigarette. 

He pats his pockets before belatedly realizing he had forgotten to stop by the commissary to buy a new pack. He spits a curse under his breath before Naruto is suddenly shoving something under his nose.

A fresh pack of cigarettes. He takes them with no small amount of confusion.

"Y'know, I've never smoked a day in my life. Well, except for some pot in high school, but I'm pretty sure it was actually oregano. But I couldn't figure out why I was itching to buy these when I got an energy drink from the commissary, but I guess I figured it out. I'm not gonna start craving nicotine and being an asshole, am I?" 

Sasuke has regained some semblance of control by the time he finishes unwrapping the pack and pulling a smoke from it. He digs around in his pocket for his lighter. 

"No, it's probably just a side effect of over-Drifting. It'll fade in a few hours." 

"Like, Ghost Drifting?" 

"If you wanna be superstitious about it, sure." 

_Flick, flick._ The first rush of nicotine into his lungs is a relief and he holds it there for a few seconds, rolling the taste around before letting it go. It’s not his usual brand, but it’s close enough. Naruto leans back against the railing next to him, arms crossing over his chest. His fingers tap a slow beat on his bicep. 

"So, are we gonna talk about it?" He asks eventually. Sasuke wrinkles his nose. 

"Do we have to?" 

"I'd like to? Why is the Shari-what's-its-fuck protocol so important to you?" 

God, where did Sasuke even start? 

Did he start with the stupid look on Itachi's face when he came running out of the bedroom at 2AM with his laptop, spouting something about _advanced programming_ and _predictability models?_ Did he start with the endless hours they had stayed up wearing mocap suits and sparring in front of a dozen cameras to put data into the protocol? 

Maybe it was just the pride in Itachi's voice when he stepped into the cockpit for the first time after it had been installed, watching the interface they had designed together boot up. The shock and joy and disbelief that had echoed through their bond when they had taken down a kaiju in four moves with it. All the love and grief that was tangled up in a stupid little robot they had poured their heart and souls into together. 

And not even _that_ had been enough to save him. Sasuke digs his teeth into the filter.

"That protocol was his pride and joy. I helped where I could, but he built it from nothing and he _loved_ it. It's his kid-- and now they're going to... what, dismantle it and jam it full of alien code? It's _insulting._ It should have died with him." 

"But... wouldn't it make him happy?" 

"... What?" 

"Y'know, his code is being used to make something that could potentially save the entire human race. I never knew the guy, but if he's as good as you say he is, I think he'd be happy to know he's still being helpful even when he's not here." 

Sasuke finally looks Naruto in the face and finds an indiscernible expression there when he does. Naruto suddenly flushes around his ears and scratches the back of his head. 

"It was still pretty shitty of the old hag to just drop that on you like that," he mutters. Sasuke rolls his eyes. 

"She probably knew it would piss me off." 

" _Still_." 

Sasuke sighs, shrugging one shoulder halfheartedly. Tsunade was one inscrutable bitch but nobody could say she didn't care. 

"Yeah... still." 

Sasuke puffs on his cigarette and lets the faded cacophony of the hangar soothe him. Eventually Naruto straightens and turns around, grabbing the railing and bracing his feet so that he's teetering at an angle. Always moving, always fidgeting. It probably would have annoyed him had it not been a decent distraction from his own brain.

"Do you want me to punch Kiba?” Naruto suddenly blurts. It’s enough to startle a laugh from Sasuke. 

“ _What?_ ”

“That was a rude ass comment, especially considering you're... you know..." Naruto gestures to all of him. Sasuke snorts and shakes his head.

"Leave it, I don't care. He doesn't even know-- plus, you're a Ranger now, and I can't have you getting benched on your first day for assaulting another pilot." 

"I wouldn't be _assaulting_ him, it would just be, y'know... a love tap." 

Sasuke rolls his eyes and digs his knuckles into the top of Naruto's head until he ducks out, squawking indignantly. 

"Alright, alright! Seesh, fine, no assaulting. You're no fun, _old man_." 

_"Oi."_

Naruto laughs nervously at him from ten feet away. He gestures back towards the meeting room. 

"Should we head back?" He shouts over the din. Sasuke sighs, takes one last hit, and then stubs the butt out on his boot before tucking it away. 

A hand presses to his shoulder and he freezes, heart stopping. He whirls in a panic but-- 

There's no one there. His skin crawls as he rolls the offended shoulder, trying to shake off the feeling. Naruto gives him a weird look as he passes him but Sasuke hunches his shoulders, counts his steps, and avoids eye contact. 

"What was that all about?" 

"Thought there was a bug on me." 

Naruto doesn’t look like he believes him and Sasuke’s chest clenches painfully tight. Finally, he shrugs and Sasuke pretends that he doesn’t sigh with relief. 

“If you say so.” 

* * *

Yeah, he gets a roomful of stares when he returns. Unsurprising, but unpleasant nonetheless. 

Tsuande must have had other business call her away, because she's absent when they return. He takes his seat across from Naruto anyways, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest, stubbornly ignoring the accusatory looks. 

Akimichi has replenished his stash of bagels and, after a moment, offers Sasuke an everything with cream cheese with a raised eyebrow. 

Sasuke sighs through his nose and takes it, nibbling on it gently as Sakura takes the stage, dimming the lights once more. She clears her throat awkwardly, flashing an apologetic look at Sasuke.

"Anyways... yes, we will be using the fragments of the Sharingan protocol as a base for the as of yet unnamed kaiju project. It was an example of extraordinary skill and an unrivaled bank of data on kaiju behaviours and attacks. The end product of what me and Ino are trying to create will be an all in one package of an artificial drift partner, a real-time battle strategist and advisor, as well as a... well, a tyrant can completely and entirely take control of a kaiju. It's pretty ambitious, but I think with help we can get this done before the first double event." 

"And that, my dearest little ducklings, is where I come in," the Overseer interjects, waving around the folder that Tsunade had been holding when she first entered. He slaps it down on the table and pulls his flu mask higher onto the bridge of his nose. "Your role from now on is to take down kajus while damaging them as little as possible, _especially_ the brain. I've drafted several new programs that you all are going to be drilling in the sims until you're reciting maneuvers in your sleep--" 

Several groans rise from the Rangers. 

"And before you all wet yourselves with excitement, I am also finally at liberty to say that we will be getting a fifth jaeger from Hong Kong in about two weeks when their commission runs its course. I'm sure you've all heard of them: the Saudi Arabian team Desert Bleed." 

Now _that_ causes some excited murmuring. Sasuke in particular is suddenly smacked in the face with a rush of excitement and affection from Naruto's end-- he's wiggling in his seat, eyes sparkling as if somebody has just told him that Christmas had gotten moved to tomorrow. He doesn't really have time to question that before Kakashi is launching into a bored, monotoned debriefing of future mission goals and blah, blah, _blaaaah.._.

Sasuke starts. Wait, no, this was important. Dreary, but important. Sasuke sits up straighter and shakes his head, tossing an irritable look at Naruto who's-- 

Yeah, totally spaced out.

Sasuke made a rule right then and there-- no more seven hour drifting sessions. This whole _sharing a headspace_ thing was getting insufferable. 

* * *

The meeting went about as predictably as meetings could go. Naruto's chair is practically spring loaded, he launches out of it so quickly to escape as soon as Kakashi dismisses them. Sasuke hovers by the door, letting the rest of the Rangers file out and waits for Sakura and Ino to finish bickering over who's tablet had been used to pull up the presentation before approaching his favorite mad genius lesbian. When she notices him, she immediately looks guilty. 

"I'm sorry," she blurts before he can even get a word in. "I thought the Marshal had briefed you before this." 

"Well, you know how she is with her schemes and secrets." 

"No one does, I think that's the problem." 

"Tch, yeah. I was... well, I wanted ask just...” He rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably. “How _much_ of the AI core were you able to salvage? And what exactly are you going to do with it?”

Sakura's expression gets very withdrawn all of a sudden.

"Do you want something to drink? I feel like we should get something to drink." 

Honestly, that sounded fantastic. 

"Lead the way." 

* * *

There's a very small portion of the K-science lab separated by a stained divider that has a fat, worn couch and a coffee table piled high with takeout containers. The best part, however, was the small wicker basket _under_ the table stuffed with liquor bottles in various states of consumption. Sakura grabs some rum and cracks a coke from the minifridge next to the couch, mixing them generously in a mostly-clean glass.

"Take your pick," she drawls, flopping onto the couch, carelessly kicking off the takeout containers to prop her feet on the table. She settles her laptop on her thighs and punches in her credentials. Sasuke rummages for a moment before settling on a mostly-full bottle of what smelled like malt whiskey-- he wouldn't know, the label was missing. He takes the seat next to her, close enough to where their elbows bumped as she typed. 

On the other side of the divider, Sasuke can hear Ino's insistent tapping of chalk on her massive, sliding chalkboard, muttering equations under her breath. The fan on Sakura's laptop starts to whir and he props his cheek on her shoulder as she starts pecking through an absolute _nightmare_ of a desktop to find the proper file. 

"Damn bitch, you live like this?" He mutters with a wry smile. Sakura elbows him none-too-gently. 

"Shut up, I know exactly where everything is." Proving her point, she quickly finds a file of images of-- 

The teasing amusement quickly vanished in favor of a twisting nausea in his gut. 

The wreckage of Alpha Prophet. Sakura takes care to avoid photos of the cockpit and instead pulls up the shattered blue shell of the computing core that held a large majority of the code that dictated the Sharingan protocol. Of course there were backups, but Itachi had never been comfortable with handing his entire project over to the military. 

A highly advanced predictive model that could analyze and adapt strategies in the blink of an eye-- it could have done a lot of damage in the wrong hands and Itachi was convinced that if he handed it over to a bunch of glorified politicians, it would almost _certainly_ end up in the wrong hands. Sakura is talking again and he makes an effort to focus on that instead. 

"So when the hull was breached and the interior started to flood, the chaos dislodged a live wire and practically fried the whole thing. But of its twenty or so sticks of RAM, a few were saved. The code that I currently have was salvaged from that. Filling the gaps could take awhile, so... y'know, if--" 

"Can't help you there,” Sasuke cuts her off. “Coding has never been my strong suit-- most of this was written by Itachi.” He sits back and twists the lid off the whiskey, flicking the cap and sending it skittering across the table before taking a hard pull. Sakura sighs, nursing her rum and coke.

"Yeah, I figured. Didn't hurt to try. As for what we’re planning to do with it, I don’t think it’s as bad as you think. We’re going to be turning it into a sort of... artificial intelligence, rather than a program, really. That way, when we-- well, _hopefully,_ this is all theoretical, you know-- when we Drift with a kaiju, the other side won’t be getting much, if _any_ information at all. Two-way street and all.”

“Huh.” Sasuke drinks his booze in lieu of giving a proper answer because he still isn’t sure how he feels about this. 

“If it makes you feel any better, it’s only going to be installed in _your_ jaeger. It would take way too long to train other Rangers to use it because, frankly, this shit is _complicated_ as all fuck. God, and speaking of the code-- I've been skimming it, and honestly I don't know dick about programming but I thought maybe you'd want to see this."

Sakura pulls up a different folder, this one full of screenshots of walls of incomprehensible code. She flicks through a few before finding the right one. She points at a small paragraph at the bottom of a bunch of equations.

_This protocol is the creation of Itachi and Sasuke Uchiha, and they have sole rights over its use and application._

_Sasuke, if you're reading this, there's probably a reason you're poking through my code instead of just asking me. I love you, you nosy pain in the ass. I know you can finish what I started._

A fierce, all-consuming ache kicks up in his chest and Sasuke laughs hoarsely and sips his whiskey because if he didn't, he would cry. Sakura has a hand between his shoulders, rubbing gently. 

"I still keep finding pieces of him everywhere," he says, just a little miserably. "I can't escape it." 

"I know, hun. You... you could tell the Marshal no, you know. If you wanted. This code _does_ still belong to you." 

Sasuke sighs and shakes his head. 

"No. If it's in your hands, I trust you not to fuck up. Can you send me that photo, though?" 

"Sure thing. Is your email still _darkavenger666?"_

Sasuke aims a flat glare at her that just makes her cackle. 

They drink and talk, talk and drink, poking fun at their younger selves and occasionally elbowing each other hard enough to bruise. Sasuke isn't sure how long he stays, but it's long enough that Yamanaka starts to grouch at Sakura about getting back to work. 

He fishes the cap to the whiskey out of a takeout container and screws it back on before standing. He's a _little_ drunk, but nothing he couldn't handle. He shakes the bottle in Sakura's face. 

"I'll be taking this." 

Sakura shrugs and finishes off her drink before standing and stretching hard.

"Be my guest. Hey, don't forget to go down to the prosthesis lab-- you need to get that arm changed out soon." 

Sasuke wrinkles his nose. 

"Yeah, I know." He bundles the whiskey up in his jacket, making it look like it's casually slung over his arm before heading for the exit. He gives an awkward wave to the Yamanaka woman, who only glares at him over the rim of her spectacles. Yeah, yeah, he knew when he's overstayed his welcome.

He heads back to the apartment and finds Naruto sitting on the couch, the TV blaring some over-saturated cartoon as he threads a needle in and out of some unidentifiable green and yellow lump in his lap. He jerks his chin up towards Sasuke in greeting, eyes still glued to his sewing. 

"Hey." 

"Hey. So your room assignment already changed?"

"Yeah. I don't have a lot of stuff-- it only took one trip to move it all." Naruto lifts his head, grinning not unlike a cheeky fox as he props his fist under his chin. "You're stuck with me for _real_ now, bastard." 

"Hope you're not allergic to cats," is all he says. He puts the whiskey up in one of the cupboards. It's already filled with cup ramen, a pack of bagels, and a half-empty jar of peanut butter. 

God, it was like college all over again.

He grabs a coke from the fridge and cracks it before shambling over and, for lack of anything better to do, collapsing next to Naruto on the couch. 

"Hey, watch it! I almost stabbed myself!" He grumps. 

"My bad. What are you even doing?"

"Patching my frog. The rice is beginning to leak." 

Naruto holds up his project: a positively ancient-looking, lumpy green frog with beads for eyes. He's in the process of stitching a square of bright orange fabric over its back, fixing an area where it's been worn almost completely through. Sasuke hums and sips his soda. He can't help but notice the t-shirt that Naruto is wearing is the exact same shade of orange. The t-shirt that is now a crop top. A wry smile curls at Sasuke's lips. 

"Did you cut up your shirt to fix your stuffed frog?" 

Naruto squints at him. 

"Perhaps..." 

Sasuke snorts and turns his attention back to the TV. It's grainy and poor quality, but sitting under it is yet a new addition-- a battered blue and red Nintendo Switch, blinking as it charges. It feels... weird, seeing these little pieces of someone else already encroaching on his space, but there's a part of it that's strangely refreshing, too. The more it feels like his and Naruto's place, the less it feels like his and Itachi's.

A moment later, Tomato appears from whatever dark corner she had been lurking in and hops into his lap, digging her claws into him as she settles, probably revenge for stuffing her in a carrier for so long. He gives her a few scritches and her rumbling purr starts almost immediately. Naruto's eyes go wide. 

"Oh shit! You weren't kidding. Where the _hell_ did it come from? I've been here two hours now!" 

"She's a little shy sometimes. Also kind of evil. Her name is Tomato." 

"Tomato? Why _Tomato?"_

"I like tomatoes," Sasuke says with a simple shrug. Naruto looks like he wants to interrogate him further before deciding he doesn't care and going back to his frog. There's a long, easy silence, punctuated only by the sounds of cartoon violence coming from the TV and the occasional grunt of pain as Naruto skewers himself with the needle. After a few minutes, as the screen goes dark while Netflix loads the next episode, Naruto quietly speaks up. 

"So have you decided?" He asks. 

"On what?" 

"What you're going to do about the Sharingan protocol?" 

Sasuke purses his lips and buys time by taking a long sip of his soda. The carbonation burns his throat but he swallows it anyway. 

"As long as Sakura's in charge of modifying it, I'm... I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" 

Sasuke aims a halfhearted glare at Naruto. 

"You know how thin this veneer of calm composition is. Don't push it." 

"Alright, alright... sheesh." 

He goes back to sewing in silence. Sasuke goes back to watching cute little drawings beat the shit out of each other. 

Finally, Naruto tugs on a knot to check it, bites off the excess thread, and holds up his newly repaired friend. 

"Ta-da! Isn't he cute?" 

Sasuke opens his mouth, expression dubious, but before he can even speak, Naruto points an accusatory finger at him. 

"If anything less than utter adoration leaves those lips, I'm gonna fight you," he says. He then puts the frog on top of his head and crosses his arms. Sasuke lifts his hands in surrender. 

"He's a lovely little boy." 

" _Thank_ you." 

Naruto pulls the frog off his head and sets it on the coffee table, arranging it so that it doesn't just look like it got flattened by a bus. He stares at it for a moment. 

"Do you wanna spar? Because I wanna spar." He turns his head to look at Sasuke with a strangely intense look in his eyes. 

"Are you serious? We were just up Drifting all night. _I'm_ taking a nap." He gives Tomato a nudge and she grumbles, stretches, and hops off him. Naruto stands, bending over him at the waist condescendingly. 

"Aw, is the old man too tired?" He coos in a baby voice. "Or is he too chicken? _Baaawk bawk bawk bawk."_

Sasuke audibly grits his teeth and kicks at Naruto, but he swiftly dances out of reach. 

"C'mon, we're gonna be running drills in a _real jaeger_ soon! We gotta be in tip-top shape for it! Plus, if you take a nap _now,_ you're just gonna make the jet lag worse." 

Ugh. Naruto was right but he didn't have to sound so _smug_ about it.

"I'm gonna kick your ass, deadweight," he snaps and pushes himself off the couch. 

* * *

_"OOF!"_

Sasuke leans on his staff, grinning smugly down at Naruto, who's trying to catch his breath after having it knocked out of him. 

" _Now_ who's the old man?" He drawls. Naruto glares and rolls to his feet, shaking out his shoulders and kicking his staff back into his hands. 

"I dunno, I'm not the one going gray." 

It takes his off guard just long enough for Naruto to check him on the thigh. 

"I am not _going gray,"_ Sasuke hisses. 

He wasn't! 

... Was he? 

Naruto checks him again.

"What, did I hit a sore spot?" 

Sasuke checks him harder than strictly necessary in the ribs, making Naruto hiss. 

"You are _insufferable."_

"So I've been told!" 

Naruto fakes, rolls, takes Sasuke's feet out from under him and then pins him by sitting directly on his stomach. He gently bonks Sasuke on the forehead with his staff. 

"I believe that makes us forty-three, forty-three, _partner,"_ he says with a grin that shows off his overly-sharp canines. The collar of his t-shirt-turned-crop-top is soaked with sweat and he leans back against Sasuke's raised knees to catch his breath. Sasuke grabs the end of the staff to ensure he's not whacked with it again but makes no move to get out from under him. He shifts his knee irritably, pressing it intentionally into Naruto's spine.

"Those were low blows-- you don't deserve those points," he mutters. 

"What, are you _really_ that concerned about your hair?" 

"No!" 

_Kind of._

"Aw, don't worry, everybody loves a little salt and pepper now and then." To prove his point, Naruto leans forward and scrubs his fingers through Sasuke's hair hard enough to dislodge most of it from his ponytail. Sasuke irritably blows the hair from his face, glaring at Naruto. 

"Deadweight." 

"Bastard."

Naruto finally stands and it's only then that Sasuke notices that his hand had been curled loosely around the other man's ankle with a sort of casual intimacy that made him _deeply_ uncomfortable. He clears his throat awkwardly and ignores Naruto's proffered hand in favor of rolling to his feet and gathering his hair back into a half-up knot on the back of his head. 

"The dining hall is going to be open soon," he says, trying to shake off the unsettling feeling that was trying to worm under his skin. "Few more rounds and then--?" 

The air splits apart with a piercing wail, making both of them jump. They exchange a sobering look.

The kaiju alarm. 

_"A category four kaiju has emerged from the Breach. Blue Palm and Fanged Prospect, please report to the hangar immediately. All other Rangers stand by at LOCCENT. All cadets and civilians are to return to their quarters immediately. I repeat--"_

The voice over the intercoms is almost disturbingly calm as she speaks. 

Immediately, Sasuke and Naruto jam their feet back into their boots and beeline for LOCCENT.

* * *

Hatake has four empty mugs of coffee at his station and a bagel that slowly disappears despite his mask seemingly never leaving his face when Sasuke and Naruto finally make their way into LOCCENT. Techs are scurrying to and fro, the two jaeger teams already suited up and listening as the Overseer debriefs them.

Being the pilots of one of the very few Mark V jaegers in existence, Neji and Hinata’s drive suits are sleek, well-polished, with a pale blue finish with white trim. An image of two clasped hands are emblazoned on their backs. Inuzuka and uh-- _Aburame_ , that was their name-- have drive suits that are clunkier, the gray paint chipped and peeling, but the snarling symbol of a three-headed wolf on their back was no less striking. 

"--Damned thing melted our underwater drones, so I want you to focus on mid to long range attacks unless you can figure out how to neutralize its acidic factor. Palm, you're running point-- her titanium alloys should hold the best against it. Prospect, you're to hold the Miracle Mile and provide backup firepower." 

"Yes sir." 

Hatake dismisses them and only then takes notice of Sasuke and Naruto hovering as unobtrusively as they can manage. He waves them over. Naruto takes a moment to wish Hinata good luck with an enthusiastic thumbs up before jogging to catch up. 

"Uchiha, Uzumaki, glad you're here. Not that I don't have the utmost faith in our talented Rangers, but this beast is pushing the boundaries of a category four. Codename Rokubi." Hatake waves his hand, pulling up grainy, helicopter footage of the kaiju as it carves its way through choppy ocean waters. Sasuke whistles quietly. 

"Fuck." 

"I know, right?"

Enormous, pale, slimy, with a bundle of fat tentacles trailing behind it that propel it through the water. Steam rises in billowing clouds around it as acid sloughs off its body in fat globules. 

"How are they even going to touch that?" Naruto says, leaning closer to squint at the screen.

"Uhh, carefully. And hopefully briefly," Hatake says. He wraps his hand around the mic and hits the button. 

"Alright, this thing moves fast so we're sending you the interception coordinates now." 

"Don't forget to adjust for weather conditions. Palm can't move that fast against the currents." 

All three men glance over their shoulder as Nara and Akimichi approach, the former with pillow creases still on his face and a paper coffee cup in hand. He hip checks Naruto out of the way and flicks the previous coordinates off the map display, punching in some additional data. The computer runs the calculations and adjusts the interception spot. A whole four miles closer to Nagasaki's shores. Nara steps back, sipping his coffee. 

"Might wanna issue an evacuation," he says with an off-kilter shrug. 

"Let's not make the citizens panic just yet," Hatake says with narrowed eyes. Nara yawns. 

"Whatever you say, Kakashi." He wanders off to find somewhere to sit while Akimichi gives sheepish apologies, ruddy cheeks flushing even deeper. Naruto makes a face after him. 

"He's always doing that." 

"Doing what?" 

"Acting like he doesn't care."

"What, is he secretly a bleeding heart?" Sasuke tilts his head slightly to side eye him. Naruto's expression grows grim. 

"Ever since we lost Iron Knuckles, he's been kind of a dick. I hear both him and Chouji were really close to one of the pilots. Plus, he'd just found out his wife was pregnant." 

Sasuke purses his lips and watches Nara find a spot at an empty tech station, eyes trained on the screens as he talks quietly with Akimichi. 

He'd heard talk of when that jaeger had gone down a year or two ago. He hadn't really been paying attention, too busy with finding his next construction job to pay much attention to the news. Another brave pair of pilots lost to the cause, yada yada. 

"That sucks." 

Sasuke and Naruto's heads turn in sync to the dash as Neji's voice filters through. 

_"Blue Palm and Fanged Prospect deployed. ETA to interception is thirty minutes."_

Hatake leans forward and hits the mic again. 

"Good luck, Rangers." 

_"Roger."_

_"Roger!"_

Naruto wanders off to sit with Nara and Akimichi. Sasuke catches sight of Neji and Hinata's vitals and blinks. He leans forward to peer at the wavelengths monitoring their Drift. 

"Jesus Christ. That _can't_ be sustainable," he says. Hatake follows Sasuke's gaze and sighs wearily. 

"That's what we thought too, but they've bagged six kaiju so far like that. Nobody really likes it, but it seems to work so far so who are we to question it?" 

Sasuke purses his lips, watching the red line indicating the right hemisphere pilot, or Neji in this case, skitter wildly while the blue one barely wavered. He was _crushing_ her in the Drift-- usually the two lines were supposed to mimic each other as the pilots communicated on an equal playing field, but this was... Sasuke had never heard of a partnership like this. 

"That's messed up." 

"End of days, Mr. Uchiha. Can't fix what isn't broken-- we can't even fix our test pods so they don't shock people." 

Sasuke doesn't like the way Hatake looks at him. He straightens, retreating to where Naruto is losing a game of Words with Friends with Nara. 

LOCCENT hums with a tense, nervous energy as the two jaegers march closer to the kaiju, tempered with experience but cracked from the high number of failures over the past year. Sasuke definitely sees a few people muttering prayers. 

Sasuke watches the map, watching the red and green dots grow steadily closer. 

_"Contact!"_ Neji yells through the comm and the tension shatters, exploding into a whirlwind of chattering and movement. An ear-piercing shriek comes through the comm, and Sasuke's fingernails dig into his arms. 

_"Shit, it's insides are acidic as well!"_

"Palm's right arm has been disabled, sir!" A tech yells across the room. The comm crackles again.

_"--ou hesitated, you useless bitch!"_

Naruto's expression darkens as Neji’s vicious insults accidentally filter through. Nara only sighs, shaking his head. 

_"LOCCENT, Palm's in trouble! We're going in!"_ Inuzuka yells. 

Another tense minute of radio silence on their end passes. 

_"We've lost sight of it!"_ Inuzuka calls. _“Do any of the choppers have a visual?”_

_"It went under!"_

"Rangers, it's still there, it... looks like it's circling you both? Stay sharp." 

"Circling?" Nara mutters. "Why is it circling? Kaiju don't..." 

His eyes widen and he suddenly surges to his feet, darting across the room and lunging for the mic. 

"Your legs! It's targeting your--!" 

"Prospect's left and right legs are both rapidly losing structural integrity! Palm's as well!" Another tech announces. 

" _Shit._ Palm, Prospect, you need to get out of those waters _now,_ before you're crippled!" Hatake commands. 

"Sir, we recorded a core discharge on Prospect!" 

There’s an unbearable moment of silence from the pilots’ end. After a moment, the red dot vanishes and Hatake collapses back in his seat with heavy sigh of relief.

"Kaiju signature has vanished. Vital signs for all pilots are stable. Both jaegers are at less than forty percent integrity." 

Hatake takes a moment to rub his eyes. He hits the mic again. 

"Pilots, confirm your statuses."

_"Fanged Prospect stable and uh... more or less sound. We've been breached and are currently a little waterlogged."_

_"Blue Palm stable and also quite waterlogged. No thanks to Hinata."_

_"I told you, it was aiming for the reactor--"_

_"Shut up."_

"We have retrieval teams on the way, Rangers. Hang tight." 

Nara collapses back into the chair near Sasuke and Naruto, looking shaken and unsettled. 

"That was _strategy,"_ he says, distressed. "That was a conscious, _intelligent_ decision to cripple the legs." Akimichi has a hand on his shoulder, patting him soothingly. 

"Yeah, we know," he says. "We know." 

There's a shuffling click and Sasuke watches through the window as the clock in the hangar is reset back to zero. He doesn't even have to glance at Naruto to know they're thinking the same thing. 

The kaiju were getting smarter. A _lot_ smarter. 

It felt like the clock was ticking even faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot things begin... 
> 
> Also Shino will be going by they/them pronouns in this. No gender, only bugs.


	4. Part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...... Y'all, I BLINKED and it was suddenly the middle of October. When the fuck did that happen. 
> 
> CONTENT WARNING: This chapter is heavily focused on Sasuke's mental health and his hallucinations, most of which are bloody and unpleasant.

Sasuke was going to get whiplash at this rate. 

“SEVENTY-SIX!” Naruto screams, as if he isn’t six inches away, vigorously shaking him by the shoulders. “SEVENTY-SIX PERCENT!” 

“Yes, yes, congratulations, _please_ stop shaking me, I have a god damned headache,” Sasuke gripes wearily, but there’s still a small smile on his face. They had both worked hard to get here, and as per usual, Naruto’s unrestrained passion and enthusiasm is _horribly_ infectious. Naruto lets him go, fixing the shoulderpads of his drive suit, grinning so wide Sasuke is fairly sure he’s going to split his head in half. 

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” he chatters. “This is the first time I’ve _ever_ been in the green for my Drift scores, I can’t fucking believe it. Like, it’s been, what, a two weeks?”

“Thereabouts.”

“Two weeks!” 

Naruto finally steps back and stands still just long enough for the techs to detach him from the test pods, practically vibrating until the last cord comes loose and he’s enthusiastically flinging off the rest of his drive suit. Sasuke watches him as they set to work freeing him as well, bursting out of the pod and entreating Iruka to the same overly-enthusiastic shaking. Iruka indulges him with a soft, fond smile and against his better judgement, he feels his own face echoing the sentiment. It takes a moment to realize one of the techs is talking to him. He blinks, turning to her.

“Sorry, what?”

“I said you’re good to go,” she says, giving him a strange look. Sasuke pats his helmet reflexively-- all the cords were gone. He clears his throat awkwardly, and pulls off his helmet.

“Thanks.”

She wheels out the tray with the tools on it, leaving Sasuke muttering to himself as he goes to work unbuckling the rest of the drive suit, tossing the pieces back into the bin by the door. He’s struggling with a sticky strap on his foot, wobbling slightly when Naruto steps into his space, hip bracing against his to steady him. 

“We should do something!” He chirps. Sasuke grunts as he finally frees the last strap, chucking it into the bin with a sort of self-important satisfaction. He stands and gives Naruto a narrowed look. 

“Do something?”

“Y’know, in celebration. Iruka says that we’ll probably be running real jaeger drills soon.”

“Ambitious, considering we don’t technically have a mech yet,” Sasuke mutters, pocketing his phone and apartment key where he had left them in the little cubby, reaching for his shoes. Naruto pockets his own belongings and lowers to the ground with him to get his own shoes on. 

“It’s almost done! Have you looked at it yet?”

Sasuke makes a face. 

“Not really.” 

There wasn’t really a reason to go to that end of the hangar most days, and also Sasuke was probably (definitely) making excuses to himself. 

He knew he had issues. He knew he was being kind of cowardly about a relatively benign nonissue; that pieced together mech was something he'd have to be jumping into repeatedly until either he or the machine wore out and he was fairly certain which one would give first. It was just... 

He didn't even know. It was like looking at it would make it real-- would make _everything_ real. The world, the _plan,_ his unfortunately central role in it. So he preferred to duck his head and find circuitous routes that got him to his destination without taking him through the hangar. 

He tightens the laces on his boot and lets Naruto yank him to his feet, brushing dirt off his ass. 

“Do you want to? See it, I mean.”

Sasuke pauses. Naruto pounces on it. 

“I’m friends with the head engineer! She can give us the lowdown while we look at it. Also, if we are _very_ nice to her and buy her a meat bun from the dining hall, she _might_ let us give our input on what the final paint job should be.” He’s making these _ridiculous_ puppy-eyes, blond hair sticking in all directions from being jammed in the drive helmet for the past two hours and it’s... god dammit, it’s working on him. Sasuke grabs his face and shoves it away, but Naruto only cackles. 

“Knock it off. Fine. I’ll take a quick look at it.” If Naruto was coming with him then maybe... maybe it wouldn't be so bad. 

“YAHOO!” 

* * *

They eat a quick lunch, Naruto buys a hot meat bun, and smuggles it out of the dining hall by wrapping it up in a napkin. He leads the way back to the hangar, Sasuke’s feet dragging reluctantly as he follows. 

They make their way past Prospect and Palm, both still undergoing major repairs to their lower halves from the Rokubi attack. Most of the plating and wiring had been corroded away and had to be entirely replaced. It was expensive, slow work and the countdown to the day Desert Bleed got transferred here seemed excruciatingly slow. It seemed like they were always scrabbling to get things together at the last possible second, and the fear that the wrong bolt left unscrewed would bring down yet another ranger duo was a constant pressure over the engineers.

Naruto slows to a stop at the very last bay in the hangar. Sasuke has to take a slow, steadying breath before lifting his gaze. 

Most of the tarps are gone, and she really is nearing completion. All the internal mechanisms seem to be in place, the outer hull just needing to be screwed in. She looks strangely naked like this, wiring exposed to the air like the belly of an insect. 

He can see the shape of Alpha Prophet in her, but Tsunade was right-- it wasn’t really her anymore. It’s a strange sort of relief. He turns to Naruto and watches with some confusion as he sucks in a deep breath, lifting his hands to his mouth and--

 _“HEY TENTEN!”_ He hollers up at the mech, loud enough to make Sasuke wince. “YOUR VERY BESTEST FRIEND HAS A PRESENT FOR YOU!” 

They’re getting very odd looks and Sasuke sighs, rubbing his forehead. After a moment, someone emerges from the tarp, peering around before locking onto Naruto. Sasuke nearly laughs at how quickly her expression sours. She sighs and steps onto a lift, hitting a button and letting it slowly carry her down. Once she gets close enough to be heard without having to shout, she says, “my only friends are Lee and my blowtorch. Would you like me to acquaint you with them?”

Nonplussed, Naruto grins and waves around his stolen meat bun. 

“Nah, I already know Lee. Have you met Sasuke yet? He’s going to pilot this baby with me,” and there’s a certain thread of pride in his voice that confuses Sasuke slightly. The lift finally hits the ground with a clank and Tenten’s brows rise into her sweat-matted bangs. Her coveralls are tied at her waist, her tanktop stained with oil and singed in places, smears of soot circling her eyes in the shape of the goggles that are hanging around her neck. 

“You finally made Ranger? Color me impressed. And no, I have not had the pleasure to meet Nagasaki’s very own undead legend,” she grins a little maliciously and pulls off her work gloves to extend her hand towards Sasuke. When he shakes her hand, she squeezes too tightly and Sasuke tries not to wince. “Hope you’ll find my work to your liking.”

“I’d have to actually know what you’re doing to pass judgement,” he says. Tenten raises an amused eyebrow and steps aside, gesturing with unnecessary flourish to the lift. 

“Shall I give you the grand tour then, chap?” She says, putting on a kitschy accent and then snatching her meat bun from Naruto’s hand. Sasuke rolls his eyes but steps on anyways, Naruto sidling up beside him, Tenten pulling the gate closed behind her. She rips a chunk from the bun and hits the button with her elbow; the lift grinds worryingly before beginning to rise. She gestures widely to the unfinished jaeger.

“So we basically stripped Prophet for her bones and muscle strands. She’s always been a little smaller compared to other jaegers, but she makes up for that in speed and flexibility and we’ve really tried to play that up as much as possible. She’s going to be the first of the mark sixes.” There’s a curl of pride in her voice like a sunbeam as she stares up at the metal behemoth. This was clearly as much a passion project as it was a job. Sasuke didn't know whether the feeling rising in his chest was relief or dread-- he wasn't really sure how he felt about Prophet's legacy being in her hands. Passionate as she was, she was also, frankly, a little unhinged. 

“I see,” Sasuke murmurs, watching as engineers dangle from cords, sparks flying as they weld at their typical breakneck pace (can’t ever let the wrong bolt be left unscrewed). 

“We’ve swapped out her old nuclear core to digital, and we’re dressing her up with an alloy to take a couple tonnes off her back. You see that sucker there?” She points at the jaeger’s right arm, where a long, cylindrical holster sits in the forearm, a bulb of yellow light nestled at the base. 

“That’s the neural spike y’all are going to be using to hack whatever poor bastard you can get to stay still long enough to plant it.”

Naruto makes a soft sound of wonder as he leans over the rail of the lift. The spray of sparks from welding guns reflect in his eyes like falling stars and Sasuke catches himself staring for a few seconds too long. 

Naruto continues to stare at the neural spike even as they steadily rise above it, leaning further and further over the rails. Sasuke rolls his eyes and wraps a hand around the collar of his shirt, just in case. 

“You’re gonna get blinded, put your head down,” he scolds, scrubbing his fingers through Naruto’s hair and forcing his head to duck. Naruto shakes him off with a grumble. 

“I know what I’m doing!” 

“That’ll be a first.”

Naruto punches him in the bicep, only to yelp with pain as he collides with plastic and metal instead of flesh. Sasuke grins crookedly as the lift jerks to a stop and Tenten unlatches the gate. 

“Lemme show you the cockpit,” she says and shoves a tarp aside to disappear into the guts of the jaeger along a narrow, grated walkway. Sasuke ignores Naruto’s stink eye and trails after her. 

She cranks a heavy deadbolt on the escape hatch door and pushes it open, gesturing inside. 

“Gentlemen,” she teases. Sasuke holds his sigh in his cheeks for a beat before letting it out in one quick rush. He sidles by Tenten and lifts his eyes, taking in the cockpit. 

It’s been left largely the same. Emergency flares, comm pad hanging above the two harnesses that dangle from the ceiling. Sasuke’s stomach rolls as the echoes of the shredded right half of it flash behind his eyes, blood caking the side of his face from the shards of his shattered helmet visor, the wailing alarms--

Naruto hits him between the shoulders, startling him out of it. 

“Fancy digs, huh? Wonder if we can get a soda machine installed in here,” he says with half a grin on his face. The other half is creased with concern, his eyes asking _you okay?_

Sasuke shrugs him off and clears his throat. 

“Only if it’ll have Coke,” he mutters. A scandalized gasp leaves Naruto’s mouth as he clutches his metaphorical pearls. 

“ _Coke!_ How dare you blaspheme in my church of Pepsi!” He wails. Sasuke snorts softly but soon leaves him, walking around the pilot connectors until he’s close to the translucent face plate of the cockpit. When it’s inactive, all he can see through the murky, yellow film are the vague shapes of workers scurrying about the Shatterdome hundreds of feet below. He watches them for a few seconds, glancing briefly at Naruto as he steps up beside him. 

“Did you have a name in mind?” He asks after a moment. Sasuke shrugs. 

“Not really. I was just going to leave it to the board.”

“Well that’s no fun. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, y’know.” 

Again, Sasuke shrugs. 

“It’s just a mech.”

“Yeah, but it’s _our_ mech-- she’s one-of-a-kind. We’re gonna save the world in this.” Naruto has this unbearably hopeful smile on his face as he runs his hand along the reinforced plating of the visor. Almost like he's already looking at the parades, the confetti, the crowds cheering as the Breach is finally closed and the world can finally lick its wounds in peace. Sasuke isn’t expecting him to turn that look on him and it almost _burns_ with how open and vulnerable it is. He swallows, turns his face back towards the Shatterdome. 

“You’re painfully optimistic, you know that right?” He says. 

“It’s either that or crushing cynicism, and I spent a decade wallowing in that. Kinda tired of it.” Sasuke can see the tightness at the corners of his mouth and, almost like a ghost passing through him, feels the echoes of grief along the threads of their bond. 

Sasuke is more than aware of the truth in those words. 

“That’s good,” he murmurs eventually. “I think I could use a bit of optimism.”

“Uh, damn right you do,” he says. This time when he socks Sasuke in the arm, it’s his real one and it throbs almost pleasantly-- blood and bones and nerves lighting up, reminding him he’s real. “Just you fuckin’ watch-- I’m gonna take the world by storm and shove so much optimism up its ass we’ll be shitting rainbows on the kaiju.” 

There he goes again, shaking laughter out of Sasuke like one would jiggle loose change from an old wallet. He shakes his head, hand skimming the visor, an echo of Naruto’s past action. 

“Take it by storm, huh?”

He could feel an idea begin to bloom. 

“How about Halo Hurricane?” He suggests. Naruto grins as he crosses his arms over his chest. 

“Ooh, I like that-- makes us sound like Earth’s own avenging angel, yeah?” 

“Something like that. Since you wanted to be dramatic.”

“Hey, _you_ came up with it!” 

Sasuke opens his mouth to bicker more when Tenten clears her throat loudly behind them.

“If you’re done making love to the cockpit, I still have a lot of work to do on her,” she drawls. 

“Tenten! What do you think of Halo Hurricane?” Naruto immediately chirps, bounding excitedly over to her. She shoves the last bite of her bun into her mouth and chews on it thoughtfully for several seconds. She swallows and smirks. 

“Sounds badass. I’ll suggest it to the Overseer. Now _git,_ before I have my friend that _isn’t_ Lee chase you out of here.”

They beat it to the lift and hit the button to take them down. Sasuke keeps his eyes on the jaeger as they descend, but he’s not really looking at it. He jumps when Naruto suddenly lets out a strangled groan. 

“Dammit! I forgot to ask her about the fucking paint job,” he whines. Sasuke rolls his eyes. 

“I’m sure we’ll survive.”

“But they’re probably going to give it some _gloom and doom_ color scheme, it’s gonna look terrible!”

“I think you should have more faith in the engineers.”

“Can you stop being logical for like thirty seconds and just let me bitch? You’re killing the vibes.”

“It’s my incurable curse.”

Naruto rolls his eyes so hard Sasuke is briefly concerned that he’s going to pitch himself over the side of the lift, but he rights himself with a long sigh. He picks at a hole in the hem of his shirt for a second. 

“So what do you want to do?” He asks. 

“What?”

“Y’know, to celebrate my drift score!”

_Ugh, fuck._

“I’m not exactly a very celebratory person. It’s _your_ score, you should be the one to pick something.”

Naruto’s eyes get all squinty as he taps his chin, deep in thought. 

“A six-pack of bad beer and Smash Brothers?” He suggests. Sasuke raises an eyebrow because that... actually doesn’t sound like a bad idea. 

“You know alcohol is contraband, right?” Half-empty bottle of whiskey in his cupboard notwithstanding. 

“Oh _please,_ I know everyone. Meet me back at the apartment in like an hour?”

“Sure.”

* * *

Sasuke is lying sprawled on the couch, nearly nose to nose with Tomato loafing on his chest as he stares at her when Naruto shoulders the door open and shuffles in, two convenience store bags in hand. His hair is rain-damp, flattened over his forehead but already beginning to fluff back up. He gives Sasuke a strange look as he sets his horde down on the table by the couch. 

“Uh, what are you doing?” 

“Telepathic communication,” he replies bluntly. 

“Oh, well, pardon the intrusion,” he says with a wry grin. Tomato blinks slowly before standing, stretching, and hopping to the floor to wind around Naruto’s legs and be a general nuisance as he tries to get his boots off. 

Sasuke sits up, tucking his legs beneath him to make room for Naruto on the couch as he shuffles over, sets down a six-pack of beer on the table, turns on the TV, and grabs the joycons from the stand. 

“Red or blue?”

“Blue.” 

Naruto tosses it into his lap and flops down next to him, pulling his legs up as well so that their knees are bumping on the small couch, easy and comfortable. Naruto tabs over to Smash Brothers and it boots up with its telltale trill. 

“Have you played before?” Naruto asks. Sasuke smirks a little to himself. _Has he played Smash before._ The insult...

“A bit.” 

Naruto sets them up with an easy stage and Sasuke waffles for a few seconds before clicking on Mewtwo. Naruto tabs over to Wii Fit Trainer. 

The announcer begins the match and Naruto shifts. 

“Okay, since you probably haven’t played in awhile I’ll go easy on you just for the first few rounds.”

“Hm.” 

“If you want, I can set the stock higher so--”

In a swift, well-practiced maneuver, Sasuke promptly spikes him off the stage. Naruto sputters, jaw dropping, mouth forming around sounds that aren’t leaving his throat. He blinks rapidly for several seconds, looking between Sasuke and the TV, trying to decide whether or not it was a fluke-- apparently the smug little smile on Sasuke’s face reveals everything because Naruto suddenly launches a violent attack against him with his feet. 

“You fucker! I buy you _beer_ , I share my _Switch_ with you, and you come into MY house and treat me like _this!”_

Sasuke throws his head back and laughs, letting himself be gently pummeled into submission. He manages to launch Naruto’s character off the screen a second time and Naruto squawks like a particularly offended duck. 

“Oh my god I am going to _destroy_ you.”

They’re about as evenly matched in Smash as they are in the Kwoon Room, every other round swinging them one way or the other. Sasuke is genuinely a little impressed, though he reminds himself that Naruto’s simulation scores were perfect. It makes sense that the skill translates to video games.

The evening wiles itself away into the night and the beers quickly disappear. There is a whole lot of kicking and carefully timed pillows thrown at each other's heads and perhaps even a little hair yanking and--

Sasuke can't remember the last time he had this much fun.

Naruto wails in despair as Sasuke _just_ manages to catch him in an ultimate, the game declaring him the winner. Sasuke sets the joycon down on the coffee table with a chuckle that quickly morphs into a jaw-cracking yawn. 

“Clearly, you didn’t keep up with Japan’s Smash tournaments back before they cancelled them,” he says, scrubbing a hand through his hair. Naruto squints at him in disbelief. 

“No.”

“It’s how I got scouted for the jaeger program.”

“You’re _shitting_ me.” 

“Grand champion four years in a row.”

“Oh, I’m _so_ mad at you right now.” He’s still muttering to himself as he grabs the empty beer cans, crushing them so that the label is obscured before tossing them in the trash. 

"I’m gonna shower," Naruto declares. 

“Shouldn’t I get first shower rights? You know, since I whooped your ass.”

“You get the insufferable satisfaction of pulling the wool over my eyes, _I_ get the consolation prize of a hot shower, you utter bastard.” And with that, he grabs his towel and pajamas and promptly shuts himself in the bathroom. Sasuke huffs and powers the Switch down, leaving the sitting room mostly dark, save the stove light in the kitchen. He pulls out his phone and clicks through his notifications. 

There's two snapchats from Sakura-- a candid shot of Ino, high on her scrolling ladder as she reaches out precariously to finish a line of equations. It's captioned, "do you think I'll get a pay raise if she falls and breaks her neck?" The second one is a grainy close up of Ino's ass, simply captioned, "nice." 

_s_uchiha09: You can't hit that if her neck is broken_

_cherryb0mb: No, but maybe it'll get her to shut up for ten seconds_

_cherryb0mb: I swear to god if I hear her harp on about how we're wasting time by eating and socializing again I'm gna wring her neck_

_s_uchiha09: Does she even sleep?_

_cherryb0mb: Jury's still out on that one. Insufficient evidence_

Sasuke sends back a picture of Tomato curled on the back of the couch, dozing as her tail twitches. She’s a black short-hair, save the single splotch of white on her chest, with startlingly orange eyes. There’s a chunk missing from her ear, and if you ran your hands through her fur, you could spot scars on her skin.

Sasuke had gained something of a reputation for feeding strays, but Tomato was the only one he really got attached to-- he couldn’t help the empathy that welled up when he looked at her battered body. His phone chimes again. 

_cherryb0mb: oh nooooooooo she’s so cute TTATT you HAVE to let me meet her sometime-- i am in desperate need of cat therapy_

_s_uchiha09: feline emotional support can be negotiated in exchange for getting to snoop through your booze stash_

_cherryb0mb: oh, done deal >:3c _

He gets one more snapchat of Ino with her hair down and an utterly meaningless but perfectly understandable _“aksdhjJSHDJF”_ under it before his T alarm suddenly monopolizes his screen. 

_Fucker._ He had meant to do it while Naruto was out. Shit. Fuck. Dammit. 

Oh well. It’s fine. He’d just have to be sure to bury the needle properly in their little waste basket in the bathroom. It’s fine. 

He’s acutely aware that Naruto both knows and doesn’t care, and technically, he doesn’t _need_ to take such extensive precautions. Just-- putting that idea it into practice is difficult after five years of never being able to talk about it with _anyone._ Baby steps, baby steps (he wonders, wearily, when he’ll ever stop taking baby steps). 

He listens to Naruto sing decently to Lady Gaga for a few minutes before he hears the water shut off and he exits in a cloud of steam, pink-cheeked and rubbing a towel through his hair. 

“All yours,” he says. 

“Thanks.” 

He gathers the bundle that contains his towel and sleep clothes, vial and syringe tucked inside, and shuts himself in the tiny bathroom. It’s a _very_ small window of absolute privacy and Sasuke takes full advantage of it.

He showers quickly because Naruto, the utter bastard, used nearly all of the hot water while caught up in the drama of belting Paparazzi as loud as he possibly could. He steps out, shivering, and ties his towel around his waist before going through the motions of brushing his teeth.

His hair falls damp over his shoulders, dripping cold (cold, _cold)_ down his spine as he works the minty foam about his mouth. The flickering fluorescent light in here makes the scars surrounding the joint of his prosthetic stand out in sharp contrast, rigid and geometric-- an echo of the circuitry in the drive suit overheating and searing into his skin. 

His mind drifts back to Tsunade's plan and, inevitably, the jaeger. 

_Their_ jaeger. 

That long, oversized spike full of relay gel flickers in his mind, and Sasuke absolutely hates the idea of having to get close enough to a thrashing, furious kaiju to use it. Where claws and teeth would be swinging, shearing metal like it was paper-- 

Boys, Boys, Boys suddenly starts blaring through the door, making Sasuke jump. He glares pointlessly at the door, hoping that Naruto can feel his irritation from here. He shakes his head and rolls his shoulders, counting the notches in the mirror to center himself.

He turns and rummages through his clothes for his dose... and pauses. The syringe is there, but the vial is nowhere to be seen. He carefully shakes out his shirt, then his pants, just to be doubly sure it didn’t just get caught in the folds, but no dice-- it’s not here. 

Fuck. Did he drop it? He was _sure_ he tucked it carefully enough to--

He starts, _again,_ when there’s a knock on the door before it creaks open a crack. Naruto’s tanned arm sticks through, holding his missing vial.

“You dropped this.” 

He huffs a breath and takes it, hipping the door closed when Naruto snatches his hand back. 

“Thanks.”

“You should keep it in the mirror cupboard,” Naruto chirps. “Easier, y’know?”

“Right.” 

He rolls the vial over in his hand thoughtfully, watching the liquid churn sluggishly. He thinks about the many doses over the past few years he’s done in cramped porta-potties between long construction shifts, hiding the evidence with a crawling paranoia always clinging persistently to him. 

This was... nicer. _Better_. 

Sasuke had nearly forgotten what it felt like to just... exist. He purses his lips.

It was dangerous, how quickly he was growing disgustingly fond of Naruto. 

By the time he exits the bathroom, Naruto is sitting against his headboard, nibbling on a peanut butter sandwich as he pecks at his laptop. He turns down the music but doesn’t lift his eyes. 

“Dr. Shizune was looking for you earlier today,” he says through a mouthful of peanut butter. “Dude, she’s about ready to hunt you down-- said something about switching out your arm.” 

Sasuke makes a face and pulls the blanket back on his own bunk. 

“Yeah, I’m aware. It’s not a pressing issue yet; there’s no harm in keeping her on a goose chase for a little while longer.”

“Bro, your prosthetic looks like it’s about to fall apart any second now-- why do you look like you’d rather get a fuckin’ root canal?” He snickers. Sasuke sighs and tips his head towards the ceiling in a long-suffering gesture. 

“My arm is so old, the port needs to be replaced too. Which might as well be a damned root canal.” 

Naruto winces. 

“Oh, blegh. I had to get my port changed out like two years ago; laid my ass out for like two days. Lemme know when it is, I’ll get extra ice cream cups from the cafeteria and we can have a movie night while you get off the anaesthesia. Let’s hope some funny stuff comes out of your mouth.” He grins cheekily, tongue between his teeth. Sasuke rolls his eyes and pulls back his blankets, settling into them. 

“You’ll be disappointed to learn that I am mostly a whiny bitch on anaesthetics.”

“Oh, so same as usual?”

“Laugh it up, short stuff.”

He catches the pillow Naruto attempts to throw at him and chucks it back, making him squawk with surprise. He crawls into his bunk and settles down, snickering as Naruto mutters about his nearly-ruined sandwich. 

His thigh throbs in time with his heartbeat and it feels almost something like a melody. 

* * *

  
  


_“So don’t become some background noise, a backdrop for the girls and boooys--_ come on, Sasuke, sing, it’ll help with the pain.” Itachi turns up the tinny little speaker he has plugged into his phone on the counter, flipping the eggs in the pan.

Sasuke only glares balefully from the nest he’s turned the couch into. Itachi’s hair is piled on top of his head, glasses pushed up to keep his bangs out of his face, and he’s taking advantage of the stove fan to smoke a cigarette without having to trek all the way to the ground floor of their apartment building. 

It’s hard for Sasuke to stay mad, though, as every time he runs his fingers over the bandages on his chest (flat, _flat,_ his chest is so _flat_ now--), it brings him a swell of giddy, delirious joy. 

He must have zoned out, because the next thing he knows, Itachi is gently pinching his cheek and jiggling his face. He bats his hand away irritably. 

“Hey, come on, get two bites down before you pass out again, at least,” Itachi says, sitting down on the coffee table next to him, a bowl of rice with a fried egg on top in his hand. His stubs out his cigarette in the ash tray, turning his head away to blow out the last plume of smoke. Sasuke watches it curl upwards until the air filters snatch it. He accepts the fork Itachi passes him with a weary sigh. 

“Those are going to kill you one day, _aniki,_ ” he says, poking at the egg until the yolk oozes over the rice. 

“Heh... If I live long enough for lung cancer to catch up with me, I’ll roll out the red carpet.” 

Sasuke gives him another unamused scowl. Itachi leans back, hands propped behind him as he watches Sasuke slowly nibble on his dinner-breakfast. 

“Not funny.”

Itachi sobers a bit. 

“Right.” 

Queen is still playing in the kitchen and Sasuke can feel exhaustion pulling at his eyelids again after only a few mouthfuls of rice. Itachi takes the bowl before he can spill it all over himself and stands to take it back to the kitchen. Sasuke settles back as much as he can without pulling on his scars.

“Thanks,” Sasuke mumbles. Itachi pauses and turns. 

“For?”

“Y’know... this. For getting leave from the Marshal and everything.” 

Itachi smiles, lopsided and exasperated and fond all at once. 

“You never have to thank me for fighting crotchety old bastards for you,” he says with a wink. Sasuke laughs and it turns into a pained moan, which turns back into a laugh due to the sheer ridiculousness of it. He relaxes back on the couch and lets his eyes flutter shut, listening to the quiet clinking of dishes from the kitchen. The music is still playing, too. 

_“Let’s hope you never leave, old friend, like all good things on you we depend. So stick around ‘cause we might miss you, when we grow tired of all this visual...”_

  
  


* * *

Sasuke jerks awake, phantom pains in his arm and a nicotine craving that isn’t his sitting heavily on the back of his tongue. 

  
  
  
  
  


* * *

There’s a reason Sasuke has been avoiding the medbay. 

It’s not that he’s afraid of hospitals, but his last major visits have been... _distinctly_ unpleasant. Especially _this_ medbay in _this_ Shatterdome.

 _\--_ _His voice is hoarse from screaming, he’s ripped out three IVs, and it’s taken six nurses to hold him down long enough to tourniquet what’s left of his arm but he’s_ ** _drowning,_** _how can they not feel it?! --_

In the years since he learned that being on antipsychotics was a surefire way for every construction company to immediately trash his application, Sasuke has gotten very good at keeping the ghosts at bay without their help. 

Counting helps. Cracks in the sidewalk or holes in the catwalk grates or wires visible in the broken casing of his prosthesis (there’s thirty-seven in there, but it still helps to double and triple check his work). Smoking also helps. And barring all that, digging his thumb into the scar tissue between his shoulder and the docking port usually did the trick. 

Nothing ever worked on the spectres that lingered around the uncomfortably familiar entrance to the medbay. None of it eased the goosebumps that crawled along his neck when he looked at the door, acutely aware of eyes nobody else could see on him. 

As reluctant as he was, however, he really, _really_ couldn’t put it off any longer. Their jaeger would be complete in just a few days and if he didn’t want their first live test to be butchered by Sasuke’s post-op pain, it was now or never. 

Pointedly ignoring tangled dark hair and blood-stained mouths that form around words he can’t hear, he slinks into the medbay and asks for Shizune specifically. He counts floor tiles, keeping his eyes down, until a pair of worn gray sneakers interrupt him. Shizune’s eyes are tired when he finally lifts to meet them, short brown hair sticking out at an odd angle, as if she had fallen asleep at her desk, but she still smiles dryly at him.

“So you finally grace me with your presence, Uchiha-san,” she says. 

“Sasuke,” he corrects automatically. “And... er, sorry.” He doesn’t really have much more to say. Shizune jerks her head as she turns. 

“Come on, I’ve got a hundred other patients-- let’s get you out of the way.”

Sasuke follows her down a long hall and into an exam room at the end of it. The door clicks shut and Shizune taps her ID against the scanner on the computer. 

“I know you’re only here to get your new arm, but I shudder to think of how long it’s been since you’ve had a checkup. Besides, I need to update your file.” 

He should have figured. He’s still annoyed, though. 

“Right.”

She pokes and prods, takes his vitals, asks all the vaguely uncomfortable questions (no, he hasn’t had a period in years, _no,_ he’s not sexually active, nor does he intend to be, yes, he still smokes that much--) and catches him up on his vaccines (ow) before even getting around to examining his prosthetic. 

He shucks his shirt at her request and she gives him a dark look at the areas where the plastic casing has broken off. 

“You’re lucky you haven’t pulled a wire free,” she mutters, turning his hand palm up to test his range of motion. “That would have been unimaginably painful.”

He can imagine it. 

“Whoops,” he says instead. She wraps her hands around the base, hits the three small latches and there’s a _fshh-click!_ As she detaches the arm entirely. Sasuke blinks at the feeling of completely losing what little sensation he had in his right arm; he feels uncomfortably off-balance.

Shizune unscrews the power cord and there’s a small zap that shoots over his scapula and up his scalp, making his hair stand on end. 

He can suddenly hear the soft, _pat, pat, pat_ of blood dripping on the floor (and he knows it’s blood, he _knows_ it is) and Sasuke stares firmly ahead, even as something shifts in his periphery, even as he stubbornly swallows down the bile that rises in his throat. 

Shizune clicks her penlight on to peer into his port, none the wiser. 

“Mm, there’s definitely some degradation in the neural wiring. Those are going to have to be replaced, along with the base and power source. Fortunately, that’s a fairly quick operation. Maybe two or three hours. I can fit you in tomorrow morning-- does that sound good?”

Sasuke blinks and turns to look at her.

“Uh, yeah. It’s fine, I don’t care.”

“Fantastic.” She clicks the penlight off. “Be here at nine AM sharp tomorrow. Don’t eat anything until then, and don’t drink anything after midnight.” She reattaches his arm and there’s another sharp shock up his skull as sensation returns. She heads back to the computer, presumably to punch his operation time into the system. 

“Any other questions?” She says offhandedly. 

_Pat... pat... pat..._

Sasuke swallows. His fingers curl tightly into his shirt, still bunched in his fist. 

“Can... is there...” He says haltingly. “Anything you can do about SPDS symptoms?” 

Shizune’s laserpoint focus is on him in an instant. 

“Symptoms like...?”

_Pat... pat... pat..._

“Seeing things. Hearing things.” 

Shizune’s expression suddenly pinches with an unbearable sympathy and Sasuke almost regrets saying anything-- he _hates_ when people look at him like that. _Everybody_ looks at him like that. Poor, broken Ranger, unable to let go of the echoes of his brother, five years dead and buried somewhere in the ocean. 

“Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do while you’re on active duty. As I’m sure you’re aware, antipsychotics interfere with your ability to connect to your partner in the Drift. We haven’t figured out a way around that, yet.” She bites her lip. “Sorry... If you’d like, I can get you an appointment with a counselor--”

“I don’t need a shrink,” he spits, shoving his shirt over his head. “I need the Breach closed so that I never have to step into a god damned jaeger again.” 

Without waiting for Shizune to respond, he opens the exam room door and he practically flees the medbay. 

* * *

Unsurprisingly, Naruto clocks his mood before he even steps in the door. Sasuke has always been a _deeply_ private person, and suddenly having someone lingering in his head again is... 

He puts it somewhere between discomforting at best, mortifying at worst. 

Tomato is curled in his arms on the couch and he buries his face in her fur in an attempt to ease the ache in his stomach, her purring drowning out that despicable _pat-pat-pat_ that still echoes, even on carpet. 

Naruto bangs the door open sometime after ten, tosses his groceries on the table, and jabs a finger at Sasuke. He jolts, scaring Tomato out of his arms. 

“We’re sparring.”

“Wh--?”

“Your anxiety has been giving me a stomach ache _all day--_ either we have a _conversation--”_ and he says it with a wrinkling of his nose, “--or we can just beat the hell out of each other until you feel better. Your choice.”

Sasuke _despises_ how well Naruto already knows him. It’s not even a choice. 

* * *

The Kwoon Room is only partially lit and completely empty this late at night, which means that every hard hit of the staffs bounces off the walls and back at them, their heavy breaths echoing in their ears. 

There’s a taught, crackling energy flowing between them that isn’t quite anger but holding a similar heat that makes them swing the staff just a bit faster, checking each other hard enough to bruise. They’re both kind of sloppy, not watching their footing like they should, not keeping their weight centered properly. There’s absolutely nothing technical about this; there are words in the bashing of wood, metaphors in the thud and smack of bodies on the mat. It’s visceral and emotional and--

And it works. It burns away the dread in the pit of Sasuke’s stomach and something untwists in his chest. Fighting Naruto demands attention, focus, and awareness-- when all is said and done, there’s no room for voiceless words and dripping blood and broken armor. He’s like the sun, chasing the shadows away, warming him all the way through. 

When Naruto flips Sasuke over his shoulder and slams him onto the mat, he lets out a pained laugh. Naruto braces himself on the staff and leans over him, his bemused smile a little goofy when looking at it upside down. 

“I don’t think I will ever understand you,” he says bluntly. Sasuke sits up and rubs at a bruise forming on his shoulder. 

“Good. I prefer to be an enigma,” he says, standing. 

“God, you’re an insufferable prick.” Naruto doesn’t even try to hide the affection in his voice. Sasuke walks to the edge of the mat and checks his phone-- it’s a quarter until midnight. Recalling Shizune’s instructions from earlier, he takes one last long drink from his water bottle before turning back to Naruto. 

“One more round? First to five.”

Naruto grins with sharp teeth and sharper eyes. 

“Alright.”

Sasuke spins the staff in his grip and eases his weight back into a cat stance, waiting for Naruto to initiate. 

He feels the shift in their bond a split second before Naruto moves. He knows Sasuke’s fighting style front to back, and he’s gotten more clever over the past couple weeks, using his superior flexibility to get under Sasuke’s guard. Naruto checks him on the side of the neck and it stings in the good way. 

“One-zero.”

Sasuke narrowly avoids another check, steps back and spins to put enough power behind his swing to knock Naruto’s side just long enough to check his gut. 

“One-one.”

Spin, block, hit, hit, roll--

“Two-one.” Naruto looks very pleased with himself. Sasuke spends a moment too long watching the spark in his dark blue eyes, and is forced to give up several steps of ground as punishment. Naruto thrusts for his throat but it’s a feint and he gets another check right below Sasuke’s armpit. 

“Three-one.”

Hit, hit, block, perry--

“Four-one.”

This is the biggest gap they’ve ever had in their points. Sasuke wipes the sweat from his palms, blinking it from his eyes. He’s backed into the corner of the mat and Naruto circles him slowly, like a fox deciding on what cut of meat to tear into first. 

The thought surprises him so much, he barely gets his staff up in time. He ducks a swing and rolls past Naruto, reversing their positions in the blink of an eye. He realizes too late that that’s exactly what Naruto wanted. He twists his staff along Sasuke’s and it goes flying from his grip, clattering loudly on the concrete off to the side. Sasuke blinks down the staff now pointed at his throat. 

“Five-one. My match,” Naruto says through heavy breaths. Sasuke huffs a small, disbelieving laugh. 

“Sneak,” he accuses. 

“I believe Rock Lee would call it _reading your opponent.”_

“Did he tell you to read this?” Sasuke drops and sweeps the leg, knocking Naruto flat on his back. And acting on a bizarre sense of deja vu, he sits on Naruto’s stomach to pin him, knees on either side of his ribcage. Naruto groans, recovering the wind that had been knocked out of him.

“Cheat,” he mutters, blue eyes fluttering open. Sasuke’s shrugs, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I believe Rock Lee would call _that_ finding an opening.”

Naruto rolls his eyes and shifts his hips more comfortably, but makes no move to get out from under Sasuke. 

“You’re awful.” He huffs and some of the wild spark in his eyes fades as he looks Sasuke over, up and down. “So, like... are you good now?”

“Hm?”

“Whatever was bothering you earlier-- did you figure it out?”

“Oh.” Sasuke suddenly shrinks a bit, feeling uncomfortably exposed in the quiet of the Kwoon Room. “Yeah. I just... get in the wrong headspace sometimes. I get my new port tomorrow, and I am... _not_ looking forward to it. I-- this helps. Thank you.” 

Naruto grins a little, a palm coming up to rest on the side of Sasuke’s thigh. 

“No problem--”

 _Something_ suddenly bursts in the back of Sasuke’s skull and it knocks the breath out of him-- punches through his chest like a cannonball. Naruto’s palm scorches him through his sweatpants like a brand and he can _feel_ an ache that isn’t his clutching at his chest and in an instant, that crackling, sparking energy from earlier returns tenfold, and to his eternal mortification, he _shudders._

_Stupid beautiful bastard, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful--_

Naruto’s eyes widen and Sasuke _watches_ his eyes dilate, pupils swallowing the blue until almost nothing remains and there are suddenly nails against his skin. 

“Wh--?”

Sasuke flies to his feet, nearly tripping and eating shit as he does so. His heart is _pounding,_ blood rushing in his ears, and his face feels like it’s on fire. 

“Fuck,” he blurts without thinking. 

He has to get out of here _now--_ he needs distance from Naruto and he needs it _now._

“Sasuke, wait--!” 

He grabs his shoes and hauls ass out of the Kwoon Room. 

* * *

It isn’t until he’s back in their apartment, under an ice-cold spray in the shower that Sasuke can finally get a lock on their bond. There are echoes of confusion, anger, embarrassment, and (by far the worst) regret in his head and he closes his eyes and counts the water drops that fall from his hair until it peters out, firmly shut out of his brain. 

He hadn’t even noticed how _loud_ his head was, traces of Naruto constantly echoing in lazy circles, a warm white noise of another’s presence that he hadn’t had since...

God, no _wonder_ his hallucinations were so bad lately: he was opening a connection with Naruto, but the broken wires in his brain were still seeking out-- still trying to find his brother amongst the chaos of the Shatterdome. 

Of course it was finding him, even when there was nothing to find. 

Sasuke lets his breath shudder out of him, covering his face with his hands. Inhale, hold, exhale. 

He can’t even begin to process the things he’d felt when Naruto touched him, accidentally throwing their bond wide open. Affection, exasperation, _beautiful, beautiful, beautiful_ slicing through his gut in white-hot curls of want. 

_Fuuuuck._ Fucking fuckity fuck. 

He can barely feel where the showerhead pounds on his back, he’s gone so numb from the cold. He still feels dangerously out of control, and the sudden silence in his mind from shutting out Naruto isn’t helping. There’s nothing to distract him, and he can feel his thoughts spiralling, scrabbling desperately for handholds that aren’t there. 

He shouldn’t be alone right now. Like, he _really_ shouldn’t be alone, but the thought of anybody seeing him this low scorches him so badly with shame and mortification he discards it immediately. 

He opens his eyes and watches water swirl down the drain.

A single spot of red hits the water and crawls slowly towards the drain. Then another. Two more. Sasuke blinks in confusion, checking his face. He didn’t have a nosebleed, did he cut himself on his way back--?

He lifts his head and his back slams into the shower wall, a hoarse cry ripping from his throat. 

Itachi, broken armor, bloodied face, mouth moving around sounds that Sasuke couldn’t hear, he couldn’t ever _fucking hear,_ arm stretched desperately towards him. 

A drop of blood slides down his two fingers and drops onto Sasuke’s forehead. 

His feet slip out from under him and he hits the floor of the shower hard, tearing his eyes away from the vision, burying it in his hands but it’s too late-- the afterimage is seared into his eyelids in terrible, crystalline clarity. A single, panicked sob leaves his throat and it’s like the dam breaks and his tears are scorching on his frozen, numb face. 

He cries until his voice breaks and the shower’s timer automatically shuts it off and he shakes and shakes and _shakes,_ fingers scrabbling uselessly on the ties of his sweatpants, until he finally manages to crawl into his bunk. 

The fact that he’s too exhausted to dream is a small but deeply appreciated blessing. 

* * *

His alarm wakes him at 7:30, and Sasuke Uchiha has never, _ever_ felt a bone deep ache like the kind that plagues him this morning. His jaw aches from unknowingly clenching it all night. 

He’s barely aware of himself sluggishly pushing his body out of bed and dressing himself. He glances at Naruto’s bunk and isn’t surprised to see it empty, with no sign of it having been slept in. 

He hates how badly it hurts. 

He feels that familiar stirring in the back of his mind, that warm buzz of Naruto’s presence, and he clamps down on it before he even has time to process it. 

Absolutely fucking _not._

Hot coffee helps, even if it tastes like shit. He makes sure he has his phone and his earbuds and trudges off towards the medbay. 

He doesn’t know if he wants to laugh or cry when he runs into Sakura as she’s leaving. 

“Oh, hey Sassss-- holy _Jesus,_ you look like hell.” She gapes at him, immediately grabbing his elbow and tugging him to the side of the hall, behind a thick metal pillar. He must look worse than he thought, if Sakura was so immediately concerned. 

“I’m fine,” he lies instantly. “Rough night. I’m fine.”

“Bull _shit_ you’re fine,” she hisses quietly. She opens her mouth to say something when she suddenly snaps it shut. She frowns. “Is this why Naruto was sleeping in my lab last night?”

Sasuke winces. 

“Indirectly related, maybe.”

“How indirectly?”

Sasuke curses and rubs his forehead. 

“Can we talk about this later? I have an appointment and Shizune will skin me alive if I’m late.” 

Sakura looks like she wants to argue, but at the mention of Shizune seems to reluctantly acquiesce. 

“Fine. We’ll talk later.” Sasuke purses his lips and closes his eyes. That’s why (and _only_ why) he flinches when Sakura puts a warm hand on his cheek. “Hey-- please tell me we’ll talk?”

He feels vaguely ill. 

“We’ll talk.”

Sakura gives his arm a squeeze before allowing him to slink into the medbay. 

To her credit, Shizune only raises an eyebrow at him when she comes to find him in the triage room. He shakes his head and she says no more about it. 

He changes into the awful, scratchy medical gown and barely twitches as they stick him with an IV. Shizune explains what they’re going to be doing and he doesn’t really pay attention, aside from signing the consent forms. The sooner it’s over, the better.

At the very least, he doesn’t dream under anesthesia either. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


_“But life still goes on, I can’t get used to living without, living without...”_

Someone is singing when Sasuke slowly comes to, softly in time with the music playing from the shitty hospital radio. Sasuke blinks blearily, vision swimming. It feels like there’s cotton in his mouth and his arm fucking _hurts._

He shifts, heart stuttering, making the heart monitor beep threateningly. 

“Itachi?” Falls from his mouth unbidden. The singing stops suddenly and a chair screeches slightly as its occupant shifts. 

“Uh, no. It’s Naruto-- y’know, your copilot.” He sounds so awkward and uncertain, Sasuke huffs the softest laugh he’s capable of. He blinks a few more times and his vision finally clears. 

Naruto’s sitting in a chair by his bed, leaning forward in it anxiously. His hair is wild, and he’s drowning in an oversized sweatshirt. There are shadows under his eyes and his lower lip looks like he’s been worrying it for the better part of an hour. 

Sasuke tips his head back, nestling back in the pillow with a sigh. 

“Stop looking like I’m going to drop dead any second.” 

Naruto makes a choked noise. 

“Don’t be a _fucking asshole,”_ he snaps. “You scared the shit out of me!” Sasuke doesn’t have the energy to turn his head again, but he does crack an eye and raise his brow. Naruto sits back and scrubs the back of his head. 

“We have a weird mind meld moment, you freak out and literally sprint away _,_ and then I get the beginnings of the worst panic attack I’ve ever had in my life and it’s not even _mine,_ and then you just go _silent._ Forgive me for being a little panicky.”

Well, when you put it that way... 

Sasuke grimaces. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Fuck you.”

“No, I...” he wets his lips nervously. “You’re right-- it was a dick move.” 

Naruto grumbles low in his throat, even as the hostility slowly drains out of him. He sighs and crosses his arms. 

“Well, I knew you were a dick when I signed on.” He huffs. “Besides, I... didn’t want to let you wake up alone. Even if we were in a weird spot.”

God, Sasuke can barely feel his toes and his head is still fuzzy, but he couldn’t even blame the pain meds for the way his chest constricts horribly (because it’s not just a spot, this isn’t something that will just go away--).

“Do...” He’s going to regret this. “Do you know what SPDS is?”

He can practically hear Naruto’s confused head tilt. 

“Sudden Partner Death Syndrome?” 

“Mm. Happens to jaeger pilots on the rare occasion only one makes it out, especially if they ghost drifted a lot.” God, his voice is so hoarse. “Survivors are plagued with persistent feelings of loneliness. Visual and auditory hallucinations. Psychosis. Dementia. Usually ends with the remaining pilot committing suicide.”

There’s a beat. 

“I bet you can see where this is going.” 

Naruto shifts in the chair again, making it creak, and he’s silent for a long time. Sasuke opens his mouth to demand a response, anything to alleviate the horrible prickling under his skin. 

“Why didn’t you _tell_ me?” And his voice cracks and Sasuke feels the guilt rip through him. 

“... I thought I had it under control. I’ve been dealing with this for five years, I thought--” he laughs bitterly. “--I thought maybe whatever part of me that was ripped out when Itachi died was starting to mend. Clearly not.” 

“... Was it because of me?" He says after a moment, and he sounds so unbearably small and hesitant, a fear Sasuke isn't used to hearing out of him creeping around the edges of his voice. "Is it because we’ve been drifting too much?”

“No,” he snips firmly, surprised by the sudden strength in his voice. “If anything, it’s my fault-- I know what ghost drifting did to me. _Does_ to me. I should have been more careful to keep it on lock.” 

“I... I didn’t even realize I was doing it in the first place, but I’ll try to-- to keep it to myself.” The thought makes him unbearably sad. “But you _have_ to tell me when it gets bad-- I can’t read your mind anymore to tell when you’re upset instead of being an ass.”

That startles a laugh out of Sasuke, the tail end of it warbling into a pained grunt. 

“Cocky of you to think you could read my mind.”

“Hey, don’t deflect-- _promise_ me you’ll tell me if it gets bad. We’re partners, in _and_ out of a jaeger.” Sasuke’s eyes snap open when he feels Naruto’s hand grasp warmly at his own-- flesh on flesh. When he glances down, Naruto’s eyes are hard as steel, expression deadly serious. Sasuke looks down to where their hands are clasped. He sighs through his nose. 

“I must be in worse shape than I thought if I need a punk like you looking out for me,” he mutters. Naruto looks about ready to fight when Sasuke beats him to the punch. “But I’ll let you know. I promise.” 

“Okay.”

“Okay.”


	5. Part V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bouncing between writing the Komorebi sequel (because I am still writing that believe it or not...) where Sasuke and Naruto own a house together and are practically married and this fic where they fight like cats and dogs has certainly brought... challenges. Also the pandemic depression has really started to get Extra Spicy, you know how it is. When the fuck did it become February? 
> 
> Anyways. Sorry about all the convo fluff, I swear things will start picking up soon. Look upon these memories fondly, for they will not last. 
> 
> CONTENT WARNING: Hallucinations, suicidal thoughts, very brief drug mention in a medical setting

He drifts in and out a few more times. 

At a certain point, he regains consciousness in his room. He has absolutely no clue how he got there, but he is pleased to find Tomato curled in the crook of his arm, dozed off and purring at a low rumble. He rubs a thumb between her ears, somewhat clumsily, and she  _ mrrps _ , lifting her head.

“Hey, girl,” he croaks weakly. Ugh, his voice is so hoarse. “Miss me?”

“She tried to scratch Naruto as he put you in bed. Probably thought he was the one that made you act so strange.”

Sasuke snorts as his eyes flutter closed again. 

“That’s my girl.” 

“Your fuzzy little bodyguard.”

Sasuke hums, eyes heavy, already on the verge of falling asleep again. Tomato settles down to sleep too, rumbling away. 

It’s funny, Tomato was exceptionally shy-- usually she didn’t stick around when there were other people in the room. Something nags at Sasuke, making his stomach turn uncomfortably. His eyes open again. 

... Who had he just been speaking to?

He turns his head and his gut sinks. 

Sitting on Naruto’s bunk across the room, back pressed to the wall, laptop balanced on his crossed legs, was Itachi. His fingers peck away at the keys, a cigarette dangling from his lips. 

As far as hallucinations went, this wasn’t the worst he’s ever seen. 

No, what unsettles him is the  _ clarity  _ of it. He can see the thin wisps of smoke coming off the cigarette, the flyaways falling out of his bun, the glint of the laptop on his glasses. Itachi glances up. 

“Something wrong?” 

Sasuke closes his eyes again and starts counting. 

He’s not real. He’s not real. He’s not real. 

“Oh, the silent treatment. Grumpy this morning, aren’t we?” Itachi laughs a little. “You shouldn’t have been out so late last night.”

“It wasn’t my idea,” Sasuke finds himself responding without realizing. Even as he tries to silence himself, the words just spill out. “Sakura got really drunk and we had to wait for her to sober up before we could sneak back on base.” 

“ _ Sakura  _ got really drunk, I see.”

“I only had like two shots.”

“And?”

“... And a jager bomb.”

“You’ll never learn your lesson will you? Master Gai would make you run a thousand laps if he ever found out.”

“Don’t you  _ dare  _ tell Gai.” 

“Well, there’s a sink full of dishes that could convince me to keep my mouth shut.” 

“Oh, you suck.” 

Sasuke laughs a little to himself and stares at the ceiling (forty-two tiles). It’s an old memory, this one-- maybe just a few months after Itachi and Sasuke had gotten accepted into the Jaeger program. A good one, all things considered-- a moment of peace before pilots starting leaving and not coming back. Before the Sharingan Project consumed most of their freetime. 

He chances another look to his left, looking at Itachi with a faint sort of ache in his chest. His brother closes his laptop, head tilting curiously. The lines on his face aren’t so deep, here, the exhaustion in his eyes not so potent.

Sasuke feels the ghost of his right arm try to reach out across the gap between their bunks. 

“... I miss you,  _ aniki. _ ” 

Itachi sighs, smile fading. 

“I know, kid. You’re getting close, though.” 

... What?

A slow, dawning confusion makes his head lift off the pillow just a few inches. This... wasn’t part of a memory.

“... Close? Close to what?” 

“You’ll figure it out. I have faith.” 

“Itachi, close to  _ what?”  _

He blinks and Itachi is suddenly right in front of him. He gives his forehead a hard poke with two fingers. 

“Wake up, Sasuke.”

Sasuke bolts upright in bed. 

The room is dark, his port aches viciously, and he’s soaked in sweat, his heart pounding. That had been a very,  _ very  _ bad idea-- the number one rule about hallucinations was to not interact with them and he’d gone and failed at that spectacularly. But worse than that, worse than the haunted paranoia he can’t seem to shake, is the fact that he can feel bile rising in his throat, his stomach clenching threateningly. 

He collides painfully with the doorframe stumbling into the bathroom and hits his knees hard against the tile just in time to retch a whole lot of Nothing into the toilet. He hasn’t eaten anything since last night, after all. Which is just perfectly awful because he sits there, spitting bile into the toilet without any relief. 

Fingers comb through his hair and he flinches. 

“Woah, hey-- sorry, thought you heard me come in,” Naruto says, pausing for a moment before resuming his earlier motions. He gathers Sasuke’s long hair into a messy bun and ties it off. With that out of the way, he sits down on the edge of the tub to Sasuke’s left, his hand staying on his back to rub soothing circles, thumb occasionally grazing over the sweaty nape of hus neck. Sasuke grumbles and spits more bile into the toilet. 

“How long have I been out?" he asks hoarsely. 

“Uh, it’s like fourteen-hundred right now. About four hours?” 

“Fucker...” Another retch cuts him off. Naruto squeezes his shoulder comfortingly. 

“Do you want me to run down to commissary and get some ginger ale?” 

“No--”  _ Gag.  _ “Just give me a second...” 

Sasuke rests his forehead on the rim of the toilet seat, sweaty and exhausted and in pain and focuses on the in and out of his breath. He times it to the roundabout motions of Naruto’s hand on his back and it helps, it really does. 

It was the same thing after he had woken up from top surgery-- anaesthesia just didn’t agree with him for some reason. A wave of deja vu beats him over the head, and it makes him ache all over. A weird mix of grief and comfort always seemed to accompany Naruto’s presence; it twists in his gut and he hates it. It's like he can't ever feel good anymore without feeling  _ guilty  _ about it. 

Sasuke rolls his shoulders, shaking Naruto off reluctantly. 

“Better?” Naruto asks. 

“Slightly,” Sasuke lies. “Where are my pain meds?”

“In the kitchen. Hold on, I’ll be right back.” 

Sasuke watches him go wearily, before sitting up enough so that when he flushes the toilet he won’t get an unwanted shower. He flips the toilet lid down and rests his head on his arm because he doesn’t trust himself to be vertical just yet. Naruto comes back with a glass of water, a horse pill of an antibiotic and a beautiful little oxy. He knocks them both back and curls up on the toilet lid again. 

“Are you just going to sleep in here all day?” Naruto says with a smile in his voice. 

“Maybe I will, fuck you.”

“Rudeass. C’mon, up we go, bastard.”

Naruto grabs him under the armpit and hoists him up, Sasuke bitching all the way, and takes him back to bed. The pain meds are already kicking in and the feeling that someone has just gone carelessly weed whacking through his shoulder slowly fades out. If he shifts wrong, strange shocks still go up and down his spine as his nerves adjust to the artificial extensions they’ve been grafted to, but it’s less painful and more just weird. His toes feel like jellybeans.  _ Woo,  _ Shizune really did give him the good stuff. 

“There’s a glass of water on the bedside table, and I plugged in your phone. Also, I fed Tomato for you. Go back to sleep-- it’s  _ weird  _ seeing you this out of it.”

“ _ You’re  _ weird.” 

“My point exactly. Goodnight, asshole.”

Sasuke mumbles something but he’s out like a light before the words can get from his brain to his mouth. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


The apartment is empty when he wakes up. His mouth tastes like ass, his shoulder hurts, and Tomato is yelling at him for breakfast. 

“Good morning to you too, you little goblin,” Sasuke grumbles wearily, rubbing the crust from his eyes as he sits up. He checks the clock on his phone-- a little after five AM. Another whole day, gone just like that. He has a bunch of unopened messages from Sakura, and he takes a moment to look at those as he refills Tomato’s food bowl. 

_ cherryb0mb: we’re almost done with the first draft of the code, so to speak  _

_ cherryb0mb: wish we had a fucking brain sample to test it on  _

_ cherryb0mb: kiba keeps getting over enthusiastic and the hyuugas have way too much destructive power for their own good. part of me thinks that not everyone is taking this seriously  _

_ cherryb0mb: hurry up and get your asses in a mech i’m losing my mind over here  _

_ cherryb0mb: also ino changed the lotion she uses and it smells really nice and i don’t know how to tell her that without sounding like a creep _

_ cherryb0mb: this is hell. i am in hell.  _

He huffs a small laugh and shuts his phone off. Those were messages to be dealt with when he could actually think straight. 

Which was never, his brain helpfully supplies. 

...

Man, and he can’t even inflict that horrible joke on Naruto. Bummer. 

He brushes his teeth, takes his meds, and goes about the laborious process of getting his clothes on with only one hand. It’s a lot harder than he remembers, and he almost eats shit more times than he cares to admit. 

Next on the list: food. He’s fucking  _ starving.  _

He puts a jacket over his shoulders to disguise his empty port and exits his and Naruto’s tiny little block, heading down the hall towards the mess. 

Breakfast is just getting rolled out and Sasuke gets the rare opportunity of first pickings. His toes feel like jellybeans again, and he digs through his breakfast slowly in an empty corner. Nobody stops to bother him and all in all, it’s a decent morning, miserable dry heaving earlier notwithstanding. 

He’s technically taken out of rotation, so it’s not like he has any obligations for the day. This seemed like a perfect opportunity to catch up on that baking show he and Naruto had started the other day. 

Sasuke pats his pockets for his smokes and comes up empty. He scowls. 

Fine, pit stop,  _ then  _ back home for Netflix. 

He swipes his ID at commissary and asks for two packs of his usual brand. The bored looking guy behind the counter turns around to pick through the brands just as someone sets down two glass bottles of tea next to him. Sasuke glances over and feels his hackles rise at the sight of Neji Hyuuga. 

Sasuke hadn’t seen much of the older Hyuuga pilot outside of meetings and had spoken to him even less. Him and the Hyuuga girl trained alone and in private, and only did collaborative simulator training when they absolutely had to. He was weirdly possessive of his partner-- Sasuke almost never saw her without him. 

To be frank, Sasuke was deeply suspicious of the way he treated her and he liked the way he treated the other rangers even less.

And he  _ certainly  _ doesn’t like the way that Hyuuga is looking at him now, cold and haughty, as if Sasuke were a particularly pathetic-looking caterpillar. His odd, pale eyes flicker down as the clerk slides Sasuke’s cigarettes across the table and he huffs to himself as he turns to the clerk, pulling his own ID from the breast pocket on his jumpsuit. It’s the  _ smallest  _ sound, but god does it set off something in Sasuke. 

“Something on your mind, Hyuuga?” he bites. 

“Nothing. I just find it a bit ridiculous, is all.”

“What?”

“Ranger lives are short enough as it is. You seem in a hurry to make it even shorter. It almost makes me think you’re  _ trying  _ to get the Uzumaki kid killed.”

“ _ Excuse  _ me?” Sasuke almost crushes the two packs of cigarettes in his grip. The clerk shuffles away into the back uncomfortably. 

“Honestly, I could care less-- that idiot has been a pain in my ass since I got moved to this godforsaken Shatterdome, but let me make one thing clear, Uchiha: I will not have any of your psychotic, self-destructive bullshit on any of  _ my  _ runs. You’re a washed up, pathetic excuse of a Ranger that has no business being in a Jaeger, but the Marshall has deemed you useful for the time being, so don’t get me killed like your brother before we close the Breach, got it?” 

Sasuke would have swung first had Neji not jabbed two fingers right under Sasuke’s collarbone, directly against his tender, brand-new port. The pain nearly knocks his knees out but its sheer spite that keeps him standing, his shout of pain locked in his throat. He glares at Neji with all the loathing he can muster, fist clenched so hard it shakes. 

“What the fuck is  _ wrong _ with you?” he snaps out through gritted teeth. Neji smiles and it’s all teeth.

“You  _ piss me off _ . I’ve worked my ass off for four years and you’ve been, what? Sitting around, feeling sorry for yourself? And you get  _ handed  _ the point position, all because your brother wrote some dinky code that couldn’t even save him? You’re a fucking joke-- you  _ and  _ him.” 

Neji’s bottles of tea clatter together as he grabs them both in one hand, spins around, and vanishes down the hall. It’s only when he’s out of sight that Sasuke allows himself to double over, clutching his aching shoulder and trying not to collapse completely. 

The clerk slowly peers out from behind the cigarette stand. 

“Hey... you good, bro?” he asks hesitantly. 

“Fucking peachy,” Sasuke grits. He straightens with some difficulty and grabs his smokes, making a beeline for the nearest helicopter pad. 

When he finally gets out there, the sun is just starting to rise out of the sea, turning everything orange and gold. It's almost insultingly nice out, considering how pissed off he feels. He sits out there, nearly chain-smoking through an entire pack, smelling the salt on the air and listening to the waves crash hundreds of feet below him.

It’s not like Neji hadn’t said anything he wasn’t already aware of. It wasn’t even like this is the first time he’s got confronted like this; plenty of people made assumptions about how Sasuke and Itachi had gotten their positions, unwilling to accept that they had simply worked harder. 

The difference this time was that Itachi wasn’t there to pettily report them to HR. Or when that failed, threaten them in the locker rooms. 

Itachi had always been so protective-- always correcting people to the right name and pronouns, always willing to speak up when Sasuke couldn’t bring himself to. Sasuke remembered how much it used to embarrass him-- nothing worse than needing your older brother to yell at people for you. 

Looking back, he supposed he was grateful. 

“I would’ve beaten him to a pulp if you’d asked.”

Sasuke suddenly feels a pressure against his back, as if someone were sitting behind him and leaning up. Sasuke grits his teeth so hard his cigarette is nearly guillotined and swings his fist behind him, unsurprised when it hits nothing but empty air. 

“Will you just  _ go away?!”  _ He snaps. “Jesus christ, you’re insufferable even when you’re not here.”

“Who says I’m not?” 

Sasuke laughs hysterically and it's a hair’s breadth from turning into sobs. He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes until he sees stars. He tries to count... he doesn't know,  _ something,  _ but he’s too frazzled and it’s not working. 

“You’re  _ not  _ here. You’re  _ not--  _ you’re fucking dead and you’ve  _ been  _ dead for five years.”

“And yet you seem insistent on keeping me around. You still smoke. You’re still growing out your hair. You still correct people when they try to use your last name to avoid using your real one, as if you don’t notice the reluctance in people to acknowledge you as a man. Y'know, just like I did. You still sleep in the left bunk, because it feels weird to let a stranger sleep in my spot. You can pretend that I’m not here anymore, but you seem to be trying your level best to  _ be  _ me, huh?” 

“Fuck  _ off!”  _

Sasuke whirls angrily. 

The helicopter pad is empty. Predictably. Sasuke growls to himself and pulls on his hair until it hurts and his eyes water. He catches sight of the half-finished cigarette on the ground, still lit and burning. He stamps it out under his boot.

_ You still smoke. You’re still trying to be him.  _

He takes both packs out of his pocket and hurls them over the edge, down the cliffs and into the ocean. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Naruto is sitting on the couch and watching TV when Sasuke returns back to the block, which isn’t the ideal scenario. 

“Hey, I was wondering where you went,” Naruto calls, turning down the TV volume. “Are you sure you should be up and about after the surgery?” Sasuke heads to the kitchen and pulls a bottle of water out of their little fridge.

“I’m fine. Could’ve said the same thing about you. Thought you didn’t like being up early.”

“Huh? Oh. I don’t like being up early for  _ meetings,  _ but I’m usually a morning person. I went running around the base a few times. The weather was nice.” Sasuke turns to see Naruto tip his head over the arm of the couch to look at Sasuke upside-down. “You didn’t answer my question though.” He suddenly lifts his head and sniffs the air. His face immediately pinches. 

“Nevermind, I figured it out. You smell like an ashtray.”

“Thanks.”

Naruto lifts his head and rolls over so he can look at Sasuke properly, frowning in concern. Even without the undercurrent of the drift helping him pin down their general emotional states, Naruto is just  _ perceptive.  _

“Is... something the matter?” he asks slowly. Sasuke curses internally. 

“I’m just tired. It’s fine.”

Naruto isn’t satisfied with that. 

“You promised we’d talk about things,” he says, and damn if he doesn’t just snipe Sasuke right in the guilt complex. For some reason, it  _ irritates  _ him. He already feels rubbed raw, the constant barrage of hallucinations, bitchy coworkers, and  _ pain  _ just taking it out of him _.  _ His fingers curl tighter around the water bottle, making it crinkle slightly. 

“I’d said I’d talk if there’s a problem with us. Right now, the problem is that I’m cranky and in pain and there’s nothing you can do about it, so just  _ leave it _ .”

Naruto’s mouth presses into a line, head ducking a little. 

“Alright, sheesh. Sorry...” he mutters, turning the TV back up as he slouches back down to watch. Sasuke sighs and runs a hand through his hair. 

He wants to say something but...

_ It’s like you’re trying to get the Uzumaki kid killed.  _

Well, Sasuke certainly didn’t have a great track record with past partners, did he? The thought feels him with a cold dread.

And that was the whole crux of the issue, wasn’t it? Regardless of the arguments, the rocky start, all their many, many differences... 

Sasuke cared about him. He’s clever, he’s talented, and perhaps most importantly, he was  _ optimistic.  _ Shatterdomes were grim, dank spaces sometimes, sitting precariously at the edge of the fall of humanity, and that’s what made people like Naruto so desperately needed. The world  _ needed _ Naruto and Sasuke couldn't help but feel that he was being unbearably selfish. After all, he'd  _ insisted  _ on Naruto being his drift partner, because drifting with him was... unlike anything he'd ever experienced.

Sasuke thinks about hands in hair, tying it back while he threw up. He thinks about the creak of a hospital chair, about Naruto not wanting him to wake up alone. He thinks about the taste of cheap beer, about the way his arm ached as Naruto pummeled him over a game of Smash. He thinks about the way Naruto felt in the drift: hot and bright and overwhelming, every part of him  _ aching  _ to help, to be somebody’s hero, and...

And Sasuke isn’t stupid. 

He flushes to the tips of his ears as the memory of that night in the Kwoon Room rises in his mind unwillingly. 

Whether Sasuke liked it or not, Naruto  _ liked _ him _.  _

It’s weird, having that knowledge sitting low in his chest; he felt like there should have been something more climatic to the reveal, like it should have been more difficult to pry it out of him, but... that was just the nature of drifting. Good partners have no secrets, whether they liked it or not. 

His stomach drops because the thought isn’t... bad. 

Maybe in another life where they’d met anywhere but here. Maybe in a time where the world never had to worry about the kaiju. Maybe if Itachi were still alive and he weren’t plagued with a loneliness echoing in the empty spaces of his brain that would surely kill him one day. They could figure out how they worked, they could  _ be  _ something that wasn’t bathed in blood. 

But they weren’t somewhere else. They were here. And with the way things were going, he’d only destroy Naruto the same way Itachi destroyed him: unintentionally, but completely. 

“Listen...” he says. Because he promised they’d talk. And so, he’s talking. He sets the water bottle down, using his one arm to brace himself against the counter. 

“The only reason I’m here is because I’m the only one that can run the Sharingan protocol. Tsunade wouldn’t bring a washed up vet like me out of retirement if she weren’t desperate.”

“... So?”

“So when this is over, I’m leaving again. For good.” He drops his eyes so he doesn’t have to see the look on Naruto’s face. “This.. this shit takes a lot out of me, as I’m sure you’re already aware. I need to stay...  _ distanced  _ from anything unnecessary or I’ll burn out and won’t be of use to anyone. So that means... keeping a distance from you, too.”

Naruto is quiet for a long time. 

Then, Sasuke’s head suddenly twangs painfully as their connection cracks down the middle. Before, there had been just the barest wisps of his presence, just enough to make sure he was alive. 

Now, there is nothing but silence. 

“Oh.” 

It's a very small, quiet sound. Sasuke blinks and, against his better judgement, looks up. Naruto isn’t looking at him anymore, eyes instead falling down and away. 

“Nothing unnecessary, huh?” He stands. “So that talk we had in the hospital was-- what? All bullshit?”

Sasuke thinks about the way Naruto grabbed his hand. Even now, he can feel the ghost of it tingling against his skin. 

“... I shouldn’t have made that promise. I wasn’t thinking clearly,” he says quietly. “This is my burden to deal with. You shouldn’t have any part of it.”

“It’s  _ our  _ burden, Sasuke, we’re copilots!” 

“We’re  _ copilots,  _ not the same damned person! Acting like that is how I got this fucked up in the first place!”

“You’re not going to get any  _ less  _ fucked up pretending the issue doesn’t exist! I can’t fix a problem that you won’t let me see!” 

“It’s not yours to fix!”

“What would Itachi--?”

Sasuke sees  _ red.  _

“Don’t you  _ DARE  _ bring Itachi into this!” Sasuke’s hands are shaking, his heart pounding so loud, he almost can’t hear the silence. “Don’t you  _ dare.  _ You’re not my brother-- you don’t get to start acting like it now. I didn’t need you before and I sure as hell don’t need you now.”

Naruto looks like he’s just been slapped. It’s only then that Sasuke realizes the full extent of what he’s said and as badly as he wants to swallow the words back down, there is something bitterly satisfying in the way that Naruto’s lip quivers for a moment before he presses it into a hard line. 

“Fine,” he says curtly, voice hoarse. “Fall apart, then. See if I care.”

“Fine.”

“ _ Fine!”  _

And he disappears into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Sasuke sighs, his stomach pinching queasily. He rubs his face wearily, and then winces as another sharp spike of pain radiates from his shoulder. He turns towards the freezer and yanks it open, going for the icepack in the hopes that it’ll ease him through the nerve pain until he can take his meds again.

His heart drops to the soles of his feet at the sight of two small ice cream containers sitting innocently inside. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Predictably, Naruto avoids him. Sasuke helps by avoiding him too.

Small, petty arguments become more commonplace over the next couple of days. They argue over whose dishes are whose, whose turn it was to buy milk, who got to shower first. What was once a well oiled machine had shifted by a few centimeters and now none of the cogs lined up-- they shrieked and ground against each other, shuddering and struggling to keep the whole thing moving. 

Their personal issues go public the first time they try to drift since the argument. They barely get into the drift, and the neural handshake is atrocious. Neither of them want to give ground, throwing up mental blocks at every step. The drift falters and falls apart after a measly half a minute.

There’s a long moment of silence on the other side before Iruka’s mic clicks on. 

_ “Uhh... it seems you two are having some...”  _

Sasuke glances over at Naruto, only to see him glaring intently at the floor, avoiding his gaze. 

_ “... Personal troubles. How about we have you run separate simulations for the time being? To get you warmed up.”  _

“Warm-ups” end up lasting for the entirety of their session that day. Iruka’s tries to get them to drift two more times, but the backlash is so aggressive the third time, it gives both of them nosebleeds. Iruka boots them out after that for their own well-being. 

Sasuke watches Naruto grab his things and practically flee the test pods without a single word. 

In his head, there’s nothing but silence. 

Predictably, Iruka stops him before he leaves. 

“Uchiha.” 

He sighs and turns. Iruka lifts his eyes from the screens, picking up his coffee mug as he does so. 

“Your averages are still technically in the green because of your stellar performances over the past two weeks, but they took a hit today. I don’t have to make it my business yes, but... I’d rather not be forced to.”

Sasuke sighs and slowly releases his grip on his nose, testing to see whether he was still bleeding. 

“We’re fine. Just... going through a rough patch. We’ll get over it,” he mutters. Iruka doesn’t look convinced in the slightest. He sips his coffee, never taking his dark eyes off Sasuke. Just as it starts to get a little discomforting, he sets his mug down. 

“I’m sure you will. Humanity might very well depend on it.” 

Sasuke grits his teeth and leaves. 

* * *

He still owes Sakura a conversation, so the next day he gets some fried noodles to go from the cafeteria and heads over to the K-science lab.

He can hear the argument as soon as he turns the corner. 

“You do this  _ every single time,  _ you absolute fucking  _ idiot.”  _

“I do not!” 

“Oh really? Give me one example of a distillation that didn’t end with it exploding and ruining my equations! You’re  _ insufferable!”  _

“Oh, I’m sorry my research requires a measure of risk,  _ Pig,  _ we can’t all just stand on ladders and crunch numbers!” 

There’s the sound of something shattering and Sasuke cautiously peers into the lab, wary of flying beakers. 

Viscous, blue fluid is spattered over a large portion of the lab, dribbling down Ino’s massive chalkboard and smearing the notes and equations scrawled over them. He expected to see the two resident kaiju experts trying to strangle each other, but instead, Sakura is slouched grumpily in a chair, holding her arm out as Yamanaka wraps a bandage around a pretty angry looking burn. She’s sopping wet, strangely, and both of them are looking at the broken remains of a complicated distillation kit on the counter, where the blue ooze seems to have originated from; he watches, too, as another beaker bubbles, overflows, and then tips over, shattering on the floor. Sakura sighs, long and weary. 

“I really thought I had it this time,” she mumbles, dejected. Yamanaka rolls her eyes, but continues carefully tending to Sakura’s wounds. 

Interesting. 

He knocks on the metal door, announcing his presence. Both women snap their heads up and Sasuke shrinks back. 

“Is this a bad time?” 

Yamanaka huffs, short and sharp. 

“Clearly your position as a Ranger didn’t come from your observation skills,” she snips. “We’re busy.” She ties off the bandage with a short, jerking position, making Sakura wince. She takes her arm back and flits her fingers up and down the bandages. 

“Oh, come off it. We have to clear out for a few hours to let the hazmat team disinfect this place anyways.” Sakura lifts her head suddenly and sniffs. She zeroes in on Sasuke. 

“Are those fried noodles?” 

“Yes?”

“Oh,  _ fuck  _ yeah.” She jumps to her feet and gives Yamanaka a hearty slap on the back, making her cough and stumble. “I’m gonna go change, you should get something to eat too. Smoothies aren’t lunch.”

“They’re not smoothies, they’re calorie-dense--!”

“It’s green and you slurp it through a straw, it’s a smoothie.”

Yamanaka flushes angrily, clenching her fists. 

“Next time you blow up your samples, I’m not fishing you out of them!” 

Sakura hooks Sasuke’s elbow and yanks him away, ignoring her. Sasuke lets her yank him for a few paces, watching as she tracks water down the hall. 

“Why are you--?”

“Emergency decontamination shower,” Sakura mutters, finally slowing and letting go of him. She pulls out her elastic tie with a wince and wrings her hair out, paying little mind to the slip hazard she’s creating in the process. “Hate those things. They’re always freezing.” 

“You sound like you’re in them a lot,” he says with a dry smile. Sakura glares at him and turns a corner. She punches the call button for the lift with her elbow. 

“Don’t you start. Kaiju blood is notoriously unstable. And besides, we’re not supposed to be talking about me.” She shakes her head out like a dog, and Sasuke lifts his arm to shield him from the spray, grimacing.

“Right.”

After the lift takes them up, it’s a relatively short walk back to Sakura’s apartment. As head of K-science, her digs are a little bit nicer, higher in the Shatterdome and at the edge, so that she has a few small windows facing the ocean, and a tiny balcony giving her access to the outside. It’s spacious compared to the other housing floor plans, which means there’s room for a proper kitchen and living room, and there’s even laminate on the floor and not just bare concrete. Despite this, though, the place looks barely lived in. There’s a bookshelf stuffed with notes and textbooks, and dirty clothes tossed over the back of the couch, but other than that, this place is bare of any personal touches. 

Sakura disappears into the bedroom but leaves the door cracked so she can yell through it. 

“When do you get the new arm?” There’s the wet  _ smack  _ of damp clothing hitting the floor. Sasuke glances instinctively at his empty sleeve before setting the bag of food on the kitchen counter. He had his old bomber jacket resting over his shoulders in an effort to not draw too much attention to it, but nothing  _ ever  _ got past Sakura Haruno.

“Later today, actually. It’s some new, high-tech model. I should be able to actually feel things through it, or so Shizune has told me.”

“Ooh, fancy.” 

Sasuke digs through a few drawers, unsurprised to find most of them empty. He does manage to track down a couple of pairs of chopsticks and takes his own styrofoam container of noodles out of the bag, making his way over to the couch. 

Sakura finally exits the bedroom, wearing a comfortable pair of leggings and an oversized band tee, using a towel to rub the excess water from her hair. With it flipped to the side like it is, Sasuke can see a sizeable chunk of her dark roots growing back in; Sasuke wonders how long it’s been since she’s been able to indulge in a few hours of personal care time. 

She grabs her own container and rummages around in the fridge. 

“You want a beer?”

“Sure.” 

She hips the door closed, two glass bottles in one hand and her food in the other. She flops onto the couch, handing him his own beer before popping open the lid and wasting no time in sticking her cold toes under Sasuke’s thigh. 

He’d never say it out loud, but he was grateful for her presence. She easily tossed aside the five years of radio silence from him, bullying her way back into their old, familiar friendship; it was a relief to have  _ one  _ person on this base that didn’t act as if he were about to shatter at any moment. 

Regardless of how true the sentiment actually was. 

“So,” she says, poking at some slightly overcooked vegetables. “How are you doing?  _ Really?”  _ Her green eyes are sharp as jade, and even if they weren’t, he didn’t really want to lie anyways. He sighs, pushing around his noodles. 

“Not good,” he murmurs eventually. “Very... not good.” 

“That much is obvious,” she says with a crooked smile, but it fades quickly. “Is it from... you know, being here? Back in Nagasaki?” 

Sasuke procrastinates answering by taking a large sip of his beer. For some reason, not having to look her in the eye is making this conversation much easier.

“Partially. I just... I keep underestimating how everything is going to affect me and it just keeps  _ blindsiding  _ me. It hasn't been this bad in ages, I'm--" he hesitates. "I'm seeing Itachi again. More than I ever have before. I used to go weeks without incident. Now it’s almost every other day." A note of frustration slips into his voice. “I can’t even take anything for it until I’m not a pilot anymore. I keep hoping that I’ll just-- get better, like it’s a-- a  _ sickness _ and not... just the way I  _ am  _ now.” The chopsticks creak threateningly in his fingers and he realizes he’s been clenching them. 

“Does Naruto know?”

“Yes.” His chest aches thinking about him and it makes his lips curl down in a frown. “I... we’re... fighting right now.” 

“Fighting?” 

“I don’t know. I can’t... talk to him. I’m afraid we’re getting way too codependent. He likes me too much.” Sasuke’s head aches with Naruto’s absence and he doesn’t mention how much  _ he  _ likes  _ Naruto _ . 

For some reason, that makes Sakura huff out a sardonic laugh around a mouthful of noodles, head shaking slowly.

“Honey, that boy gets attached to  _ anyone  _ that gives him an ounce of attention. And, no offense, you are  _ exactly  _ his type.” 

“His  _ type?”  _

“Pretty, smarter than him, a bit of an asshole. Why do you think he had it so bad for me?” She raises an eyebrow. For some reason, the comment flusters him and he focuses on eating to distract from the way he can feel his ears going warm.  _ Anyone  _ that gives him attention?

Unbidden, he remembers what Iruka told him the first time they had attempted to drift and he feels his stomach go cold, his appetite suddenly dropping off sharply. That he was so chronically lonely as a kid, it damaged his brain to the point where it made it almost impossible to drift. 

“That’s... actually kind of sad...” he mutters. Sakura sighs, sobering a bit.

“Isn’t it? And, by the way, I see you trying to deflect-- nice try.”

Sasuke curses under his breath. Sakura tries to pick up a slippery bundle of peppers several times before she gets frustrated and just skewers them. 

“I won’t say that drifting is my area of expertise, but I  _ have _ been reading up on a couple of studies to prep for Sharingan two-point-oh; something interesting that I found was that symptoms of mental illness actually lightened with particularly close pilots. Something about having a...” She waves her chopsticks around thoughtfully. “Backup brain, essentially, to reference from. You know, like how women are less prone to being colorblind because of our backup X chromosome.” 

“So, what, I use Naruto to  _ self-medicate--?”  _

Sakura kicks him in the thigh. 

“That’s not what I mean and you know it, don’t take that tone with me,” she snaps. “I won’t pretend that being a pilot isn’t difficult-- it’s arguably the most difficult job in the world, and I’m saying that as someone who studies the genetic makeup of fucking  _ aliens  _ for a living. What I’m  _ saying  _ is that you both have baggage and two sets of shoulders are  _ always  _ better than one.” She gives him a narrowed look, and he tries to ignore the way it makes his skin prickle. “It’s a two-way street. You’re a jaeger pilot, you should know this better than anyone. You’d be helping him just as much as he’s helping you.”

Sasuke closes the lid on his takeout container and sets it aside, choosing instead to nurse his beer. 

“I know it makes it easier,” he says quietly, like pulling teeth, and Sakura stills. “It makes  _ everything  _ easier. Always having a second pair of eyes, a second opinion, someone that just  _ knows  _ you-- having that with Itachi was the best couple of years of my life.” His thumb picks at the label on the bottle. 

“... And what if I lose it all over again? If I’m this badly off from losing Itachi, I won’t  _ survive  _ losing him.” 

He doesn’t realize he’s shaking until Sakura takes his beer and wraps him up in her arms, tucking his head under her chin and holding him there with her deceptively strong arms. And he hates that he  _ needs  _ this, needs to be coddled like a fucking baby to feel like the world isn’t coming down around his ears. 

“I can’t tell you what to do, Sasuke. It’s a dangerous world and ultimately, these are your risks to take,” she says softly, fingers going through his hair. “But I think being able to find moments of happiness are even more important now than ever.”

Sasuke curls his fingers into her shirt and doesn’t let go for a long time 

  
  


* * *

  
  


"Touch your thumb to your fingers, please." 

Shizune watches as he slowly taps his metal thumb to his pointer, middle, ring, and pinky. The action is swift, smooth, and he  _ feels  _ it. There's this gel-like, matte material over the fingers and it's so bizarrely responsive it's almost discomforting. There's no jerky pauses, no stiffness. 

His old arm had the barest indications of pressure and temperature to ensure he didn't crush things or damage the mechanisms, but this... 

"I'll admit it-- this is pretty nice," he says with a long sigh, curling his hand into a fist a few times. Shizune snickers, tapping her observations into her tablet. 

"It better be-- that thing was  _ very  _ expensive, but Marshal Senju insisted on it." 

"Why?" 

"This one interfaces with jaegers the best, mimicking the body's natural biofeedback almost perfectly. I suppose she wants to minimize the margin for error as much as she possibly can." 

Sasuke hums, picking up his shirt and sliding it over his head. 

"As per usual, there's an adjustment period with new prosthetics. Try not to hold any babies for the next forty-eight hours, that thing has some serious strength behind it and you  _ will  _ accidentally crush some things. Don't lift anything heavier than thirty pounds for three days, make sure to dry it off thoroughly when getting out of the shower, and you can return to more strenuous physical activity after five days. Got it?" 

"Something about babies, right," Sasuke says with a nod. Shizune gives him a dirty look, but a wry smile pulls at her lips. 

"Alright, smartass, you're good to go." She turns off the tablet and opens the door, leaving Sasuke to ease himself gingerly off the exam table, folding his bomber jacket over his left arm. His port still aches, but not nearly as badly and he feels decent. Not great, but better than before. 

Now, what kind of Uchiha would he be if he didn’t blatantly ignore his doctor’s explicit instructions? 

  
  


* * *

There’s a small class in the Kwoon Room and it’s mildly amusing to watch Lee mercilessly wipe the floor with the new recruits. Perhaps he  _ had  _ been too rough with his critique before-- whatever faults in this new round of trainees were not due to a lack of effort on Lee’s part. 

Sasuke watches them out of the corner of his eye from his spot in the corner where he’s settled with a wooden man dummy, a few padded pegs sticking out on a rickety center that made them spin when they were hit. This thing had been here before he had left five years ago and would probably be here for many more years, teaching Ranger cadets lessons on humility and Newton’s third law. 

The staffs were too heavy for his arm currently, but it would be good to calibrate his arm as soon as possible. Preferably before he cracked his phone screen with an over enthusiastic jab of his new bionic fingers. 

No, he wasn’t avoiding Naruto. 

He was just... trying to figure out how to approach the situation. 

He hits one of the pegs with his arm and it cracks worryingly. 

Whoops. 

He shakes the ache out of his shoulder and goes through a few simple exercises, whacking the pegs with practiced familiarity, spinning them and only getting thwacked a few times. It’s methodical and almost meditative, the throbbing in his shoulder like a secondary heartbeat, washing out the sounds of the recruits in the backgrounds. 

He still didn’t know how to approach Naruto. 

_ “Sorry I called you unnecessary, I didn't mean it,”  _ doesn’t really seem to hit the right tone.  _ "I was intentionally trying to push you away because you're too good for me and I don't want to get you killed."  _ Now he sounds like a bad romcom protagonist.  _ “I’m probably going to kill myself in a few years and I’d like to spare you the pain.” _

... Way too dark. 

“Uchiha-san.” 

_ Crack!  _

Sasuke starts at the sound of his name and hits the peg with  _ way  _ too much force, making it crack again, rattling loudly as it spins. He scowls and puts a hand on it to stop it, inspecting the hairline fracture running down the peg. 

“It’s just Sasuke.” He turns and pauses when he sees uh... Shinsou? No, Shino. Shino Abu-something. 

They’re standing there, practically drowning in an oversized sweatshirt, padded bo staff in hand, looking at him placidly as if they hadn’t just scared the bejesus out of Sasuke.

“... Can I help you?” 

“Yes, actually. Kiba is late to our sparring session-- I was wondering if I could implore you for a warm-up. Nothing too strenuous; I notice you have received a new prosthetic.”

“Uh...” 

Well, he’d be side-by-side with this person, hacking away at kaiju guts sooner or later with this guy. It wouldn’t hurt to get a feel for his style. 

“... Sure. Not sure how good of a warm-up I’m going to be though,” Sasuke says a little slowly, following after Shino as they head for an empty area of the mat near the back of the Kwoon Room. 

Shino offers Sasuke a padded staff and he takes it, spinning it a few times both to get a feel for the weight and for his arm. It's way lighter than a regular staff, made for beginners, and he nearly whacks himself in the face. 

If Shino notices, they don't comment.

“I find there’s plenty of wisdom to be gained from sparring with a new partner; I wouldn’t worry if I were you,” Shino says. Their voice is almost eerily calm, and when they take their starting position, they settle into a stance Sasuke has never seen before. 

“Are you gonna take the glasses off?” Sasuke asks. Shino tilts their head, and the dark lenses flash, almost like an insect. 

“No, I have a light sensitivity because of a past head injury. Thank you for the concern though.” 

Sasuke is so busy wondering what kind of head injury gives you photophobia that it gave Shino an easy check. 

“One-zero,” they say. Sasuke scowls. 

It takes him longer than he’d like to admit to earn back his point. His arm aches, and he still has issues with putting too much or little strength into the prosthetics. His swings are poorly timed, but to their credit, Shino doesn’t comment. Only adjusts their grip or their stance, staying almost entirely on the defensive despite the multiple openings Sasuke gives them. 

Sasuke gets another undeserved point and his teeth grit angrily. He swaps his grip and swings up as hard as he can; Shino’s staff goes flying, nearly hitting an unlucky cadet walking by, who starts like a young deer. 

“You’re toying with me,” Sasuke snaps. 

“I’m not.”

“You  _ are.”  _

“I’m being cautious of your injury.”

“You’re being a pushover. This doesn’t help either of us; what do you want?  _ Really?”  _

Shino regards him for a long minute before adjusting their glasses. 

“... I admit there were ulterior motives to asking your to spar,” they finally admit. Sasuke rolls his eyes at the pretentiousness of it all. 

“What do you  _ want?”  _

Shino turns to go retrieve their staff. They pick it up, dusting off the dirt that had collected from rolling around on the floor. 

“It isn’t a problem yet, so we haven’t said anything, but I thought I should give you fair warning-- this fight you're having with Naruto wearing on their patience and discrediting your capabilities as point header."

“Who’s we?” 

“The rest of the Rangers. They talk, you know. When you and Naruto are not around. They don’t think I listen, but I do.” 

Sasuke feels his stomach flip uncomfortably. Right. The whole ‘messing up their drift scores’ thing. Their scores  _ are  _ accessible to anyone with Level 4 clearance, which is exactly what Rangers have. 

Great. 

“And?”

“And I’d highly suggest that you hurry up in apologizing to Naruto, before Neji-san takes it upon himself to straighten you out.”

“Why do you assume  _ I’m  _ the one that has to apologize?” Sasuke narrows his eyes at him. 

“No offense intended, but Naruto would rather go toe-to-toe with a category 4 barehanded than genuinely disappoint or anger someone he looks up to. As such, he’s deeply affected when he perceives himself to have done these things. It’s been three days since I’ve noticed the shift in your dynamic-- if he hasn’t apologized by now, he’s more hurt than angry.”

Sasuke can only stand and stare, vaguely dumbfounded. 

“How do you  _ know  _ all this? I’ve never even seen you and Naruto speak.”

“I mentioned people tend to underestimate my observation skills. That includes you, Uchiha.” 

_ Note to self: don’t piss off Shino.  _

“... Right.” 

“Naruto’s a good person, Uchiha. I think you are too, deep down. I just think it’s been a while since you’ve had to trust someone like one must trust a copilot.” 

Sasuke sucks in a long breath, eyes falling closed as he exhales, trying to get rid of all the misplaced irritation that seems so close to the surface nowadays.

“Are we done here?” 

“Yes. Kiba should be here soon. Thank you for the warm-up.” 

Shino bows politely and Sasuke fights the ridiculous urge to mock him like a third-grader as he puts up his staff. He grabs his water bottle and his phone, thumbing open Sakura’s name on snapchat. 

_ s_uchiha09: have you seen Naruto around? I need to talk to him _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //sprays Sasuke with a water bottle 
> 
> Get a therapist, bitch


End file.
